AIBU when people say 'hows baby?' etc

[kateluvscats]

Small gripe but when I'm watching One Born Every Minute why do the midwives constantly say 'baby's nearly here', or 'baby's head is coming', or 'how's baby?' The correct phrase 'is the baby's heads coming' or 'the baby's nearly here'!!! Surely it's not so hard that you can't add the word 'THE'!!

Totally agree with you all, trust me, I'm not losing sleep over it, just an observation really that irked me slightly. Totally understand there's more pressing matters in the world.

Yanbu

I was told ‘baby is saying to us that he needs more help’ by a Dr about an emergency c section.

I’m not a child! ‘Baby’ isn’t saying anything! Just speak to me like a friggin adult.

Another one is automatically calling me Mrs Smith*, I know this is polite but it makes me sound about 75.

mumsnet is fucked clearly.

When you are pushing a whole person through your special area I probably wouldn’t give a shiny shit what they said as long as they had the good drugs for me.

Very strange thing to harp on imo.

I'd be more impressed with her profession as a midwife tbh. Or whether or not she's doing a good job and making sure the mother feels as comfortable as possible at such a vulnerable time in her life.

*Yanbu

I was told ‘baby is saying to us that he needs more help’ by a Dr about an emergency c section.*

Urgh that makes me cringe! Why do they feel the need to phrase things like that??

I tried to give a fuck about this but sadly had no energy for it. Non issue. Next!

Yanbu. I find use of baby annoying anyway by especially annoying in medical setting.

Maybe they think saying ‘the baby’ is a bit cold, and getting the baby like an object??

In my labour they asked if I’d picked a name for the baby, which I told them but they misheard, for the rest of my labour (which ended in theatre) they kept saying lets meet ‘so and so’ using the wrong name, my husband had missed the whole convo so didn’t know who this random person was we would be meeting soon.

I was passed caring just went along with them

Bizarre.

Thanks @sunlight I know it was an emergency - but it was such a patronising thing to say that it made me feel way more anxious and like wtf! I wanted to trust the medical staff, and saying ‘Baby is saying he needs help’ did not feel me with trust.

It made me wonder if they knew what they were doing.

If a plane hits turbulence would you want the pilot to say ‘plane is having a hiccup’

It’s a bit old school and quaint.

Agree that it sounds weird. But I hate baba/bubba even more. I also find healthcare professionals weirdly coy about bodily functions. I was recently asked 'have you experienced any loss down below?' in dulcet tones... It took me a while to realise she meant vaginal discharge.

Oh, and I'm still getting used to being called 'Mum' by women my own age or older at nursery...

@PinaColada1 a the plane analogy is a good one! Could it have something to do with the fact that pregnancy is something women do..?

@robotic yes I think so! I feel like I was treated like a child, which is a big deal when you have to understand what the medics are trying to say. It’s denial of proper information.

I had to sign a consent form for the emergency c section. ‘Baby is saying he needs help’ is not exactly informed consent.

I actually had to ask them to tell me exactly what’s going on. I shouldn’t have had to ask!

Baby is saying he needs help

Christ on crack. I would have been livid.

Maternity wards love talking down to women. Especially if you are or look young.

I got asked by six different consultants on the nicu whether I was a doctor myself. They spoke to me using correct terms, explained what I didn't know, answered my questions and were polite and kind.

Meanwhile the staff on the Labour ward act like women are stupid

It's the same irritating tweeness that has the receptionist at the surgery say, Doctor will see you now. You mean the Doctor, or hey, Dr Smith.

Just saying Baby is fine, if you say The baby it sounds a bit alien. as in anyones baby. The midwife could say Your baby I suppose, but midwives are doing a job,and always busy looking after you,

YANBU at all.

It's got right on my nip end for years. Patronising, twee bollocks. The baby. The. The. The.

"Pass baby to Mum." Aaargh!

Being offended for the sake of finding something to be offended about....

I don't think anyone's offended by it. Just irritated by twee bollocks and at risk of pulling a muscle by rolling our eyes.

I bet people who think baby is ok also say "recommend me" instead of "recommend to me."

It's the same irritating tweeness that has the receptionist at the surgery say, Doctor will see you now. You mean the Doctor, or hey, Dr Smith.

This! ^

I also dislike being referred to as "mum". When DS was being assessed for autism, I was referred to as "mum" in various written documents and in meetings which I attended. When I said that I preferred to be referred to by name or as DS's mother, the others in the room looked at each other, then noted this down as if it were some kind of deviance on my part!

Don't be so bloody daft.

YANBU. I find it makes me squirm. It feels like an inappropriate level of informality. These are medical professionals. They should be talking to you as an equal, while obviously being the expert and communicating that expertise.

YANBU. Drove me crazy when I was pregnant. I was a pretty highly strung so the constant enquiries about my unborn child in such a grammatically incorrect fashion was almost too much to bear. And it is always said in ‘that’ tone of voice as well. I am pregnant, not an idiot, please speak to me like a normal grown up.