AIBU regarding PE teacher, DD and her period?

[Tink2007]

My DD is nearly 13. She’s been having periods for 8/9 months. She came on yesterday. She said it was quite heavy and she didn’t feel comfortable doing PE today as she was worried about leaks and it being so heavy just left her feeling uncomfortable.

She’s never missed a PE lesson, she has done PE whilst on her period but it has always coincided with the end so has always been lighter. I said it was fine and I would jot a note in her student diary (as required) especially seeing as it was the first time she has come to me and said “‘Mum, I don’t feel comfortable with this today.”

So imagine my surprise when she came home from school and told me how PE went today. Her actual PE teacher was fine with her not doing PE but said the final decision was with the head of PE.

Now given she didn’t have her PE kit, she had a note and expressed her discomfort with doing PE I wa surprised that the head of PE tried all manner of ways to make her do PE, telling her a period couldn’t be “that bad”, she wouldn’t accept it as a reason again. Then said if she had a spare PE kit she would have made her do it, asked the other PE teacher to make her do it in her school uniform (which the other teacher refused to do) and pulled her by the arm to a standing position to bat a shuttlecock back and forth towards the end of the lesson. She simply couldn’t accept she wasn’t doing it this lesson.

AIBU reasonable for being annoyed? In an age where we are supposed to be empowering young women to have their voices heard, be confident in what they feel comfortable and uncomfortable with and voicing that but yet this teacher seems happy to ignore it and physically pull my DD to her feet.

I should add I do know the teacher in question - she was my PE teacher 22 years ago and it does sound just like her to be honest.

I have always found that light exercise helps cramps and pain.

How did you find it helped with the flooding?

@Em10145 Have a read of the stories on here. I don't believe you will have the same opinion then. Teachers who don't allow basic human dignity to a child to go to the toilet are evil and clearly in the wrong job.

Enlightening how many teachers won’t make allowances for periods. It’s been vindicating in a way as I have long been skeptical of the Poor Teachers Are Absolute Saints party line so often found on MN but you usually can expect a roasting if you question it. Depressing but not surprising to me how many teachers are showing their true colours on this thread.

Enlightening how many teachers won’t make allowances for periods.

What allowances would you like to see?

soupdragon Makes no difference, but it happens whatever I do.

@CarolDanvers Very true, there is something very sick and sadistic about a teacher who won't even allow another human being to go to the toilet. That is a breach of human rights. Teachers like that should be sacked and banned from teaching, they are monsters. There is something very sick and sociopathic even about another human that would stop a small child from going to the toilet, when you have to go, you have to go. What they really need is a student to throw up all over the teacher or have diarrhoea in their seat and the teacher be forced to clean it (if I were the mother I'd grab hold of the teacher's head and rub their face in the seat). THEN they will surely start exercising common sense and act like a human being.

IF Em10145 really is a Y6 teacher, I don't think they'll be one for long. I have never been into either of my DD's schools to complain about any aspect of her education but my DD started her periods in Y6 and if her teacher had had that attitude I'd have taken it all the way to OFSTED if necessary. It wouldn't have been necessary because the Primary school were sensible, empathetic and didn't employ twats as teachers.

I have always found that light exercise helps cramps and pain
Staying still actually seems to make it worse

I find paracetamol and ibuprofen do a fabulous job on periods, not so much with the very rare migraine.

Teachers limit kids going to the toilet because many kids use it as an excuse to get out of class. If you were a teacher and allowed any child to go to the toilet when they wanted to, you would spend half the lesson with half the class going in and out of the toilets.
It is not a breach of human rights. It is very common in low wage work to have clear times when you can and can not go to the toilet e.g. on timed set breaks.

There is a troll who pops up on any thread about schools and toilets, they always teach year 6 and never let kids go to the toilet during class. Em has no other posting history.

Thanks for the heads up Bluestitch. Has anyone reported it?

It is not a breach of human rights. It is very common in low wage work to have clear times when you can and can not go to the toilet e.g. on timed set breaks.

This.

It is very common in low wage work to have clear times when you can and can not go to the toilet e.g. on timed set breaks

Then I believe those employers are sadistic thugs who should not be allowed to be in charge.

I have Waspnest.

You wrote a note stating your opinion, your wishes for your child and her needs.

Another adult felt fit to disregard that.

If you want your child excused from pe, you want your child excused from pe. Just the same as if you feel your child needs to stay off for being poorly, as another adult, you don't expect the school to demand she comes in

Yes, speak to the head.

I've reported it, thanks for the heads-up Blue, can see that derailing!

Why, as a nation, are we do feeble at standing up for ourselves? It's all such a race to the bottom. No wonder we still have a monarchy when other countries rose up and booted theirs out (not that that necessarily made things any better, I appreciate, but at least it shows some oomph! Though I quite like the Royal Family )

Good.

Then I believe those employers are sadistic thugs who should not be allowed to be in charge.

Maybe next time you go into a shop you could tell management that? Or better still write to Head Office and complain about the human rights breach of their staff? Or complain to headteachers about teachers not being able to go to the toilet, or the bus driver.

Does no one think about this? Do none of you realise under what conditions many people are working?

And if you use a nursery speak to them. Very common in nurseries for set timed breaks when staff can go to the toilet. Also bus drivers, train drivers, teachers, factory workers, cleaners, nurses, Drs, call centre staff, etc etc.
You may not agree with it, but it is very common. And is not legally a breach of human rights.

Give it up Em, they've already deleted your first post for being a pbp.

My last post was aimed at the reporters not Em before Em thinks I'm supporting her views in any way.

weetabix I have a theory that many people who comment on MN have never worked in low paid jobs, so have no idea about conditions that are routine for much of the population. I see it on here all the time. Alongside those who have no understanding of the law but wrongly say that lots of things are illegal.

If you were a teacher and allowed any child to go to the toilet when they wanted to, you would spend half the lesson with half the class going in and out of the toilets

My DD's primary had a completely open door policy. Because they removed the "excitement" of getting out of class for a few minutes, it wasn't abused. They actually find it works far better.

It is not a breach of human rights. It is very common in low wage work to have clear times when you can and can not go to the toilet e.g. on timed set breaks

It isn't a valid comparison. The whole point of growing up is that you learn to manage both yourself and your time. But should an adult have a condition like heavy periods etc, they shouldn't be denied access to a loo at any time either!