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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

y sister financially benefitting from our parents AGAIN - Theead 2.

547 replies

QueenofmyPrinces · 16/01/2019 17:40

My mom is due over in 20 minutes so let’s see if she turns up on time for a start......

Feeling very nervous and already feeling upset to be honest. I’m worried I’m just going to burst into tears when I see her Sad

Thanks everyone for your support on the the first thread and I will let you know how tonight goes Flowers

OP posts:
RandomMess · 16/02/2019 07:30

Actually if you want to focus on £ so much until their mid twenties the op financial had far far far less & than her sister and huge student debt but she didn't "deserve" support or help...

QueenofmyPrinces · 16/02/2019 07:38

To be honest I suspect op is blamed for the PND whilst her Sister is seen as the ONLY one that suffered

I agree - I think the resentment towards me will always be there. She always told me that I was never a planned baby whereas my sister was and I think I was probably viewed negatively from the minute she found out she was pregnant with me.

OP posts:
Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 07:39

You can add up the dollars all day long if you like, but it's not going to go add up to anything. The situation is what it is.
Honestly OP, you'll be surprised at the relief you feel if you just accept things. I think your DM and DF have been quite indulgent of your behaviour. They have both given lengthy explanations, apologised and attempted to change their ways.

I don't think any further drawing of blood is good for you. You need to just accept that you were treated differently because you are different. If you can't accept that, you can continue with this vendetta. But I genuinely don't think it will serve you and useful purpose.

QueenofmyPrinces · 16/02/2019 07:42

Actually if you want to focus on £ so much until their mid twenties the op financial had far far far less & than her sister and huge student debt but she didn't "deserve" support or help...

I actually had to sell my study books and auction off loads of things just to get some extra money to live off. Well, the money went to my parents in the name of rent which they would then hand over to my sister to pay for her driving lessons.

It’s ludicrous really when I look back on how things were.

OP posts:
Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 07:43

As a mother, I really don't believe that you feel resentment towards a child, no matter how unplanned and inconvenient they are! The love for a child transcends all that - even with PND. I think you're going unguided into choppy waters which might better be explored in counselling rather than on here where posters wait with baited breath for the next installment in the drama of YOUR LIFE.

Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 07:44

Let it go.

QueenofmyPrinces · 16/02/2019 07:44

You need to just accept that you were treated differently because you are different.

In what way am I different though? What made us so different when we were younger that meant my sister deserved to be treated better than me?

I’m not being goady, I’m just genuinely curious as to how I was different to my sister?

OP posts:
Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 07:46

If you dwell on the past you're in danger of getting stuck there.

MarthasGinYard · 16/02/2019 07:47

'My mom is due over in 20 minutes so let’s see if she turns up on time for a start......'

Your opening gambit

I feel your mum will always set her self up to fail in your eyes. The road to recovery will always be greatly hindered by this.

MarthasGinYard · 16/02/2019 07:47

'Herself'

Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 07:48

You've spoken at length about the differences between you. I don't know you or your sister, but I have read what you've written. Maybe read back over what you've written and you'll find out how you're different.

QueenofmyPrinces · 16/02/2019 07:51

If you dwell on the past you're in danger of getting stuck there.

So your opinion is that my parents, but especially my mom, over the years did nothing wrong and I should just get over myself, and condone what she did by acting like everything is ok?

And you seem to be avoiding my question when I asked you in what way was I different when we were younger that meant I deserved to be treated so unfavourably?

OP posts:
QueenofmyPrinces · 16/02/2019 07:55

Cross posted.

You've spoken at length about the differences between you....

So if you had two children, one who was at uni and another child who was in full time employment, living with her partner who was also in full time employment, you would take money from your uni student whilst at the same time giving money to the employed one to pay for their phone bill and driving lessons?

If you think that’s an acceptable way to treat siblings then we are just going to have to agree to disagree.

OP posts:
Daisypie · 16/02/2019 07:57

As I said above this kind of parenting causes so much pain. Telling people to move on does not instantly make it possible. OP and her sister were subject to such skewed and distorted parenting that OP is still trying to sort it all out. The money is the tip of the iceberg. It is what lies beneath that, the assumptions and beliefs about OP and her sister and the years of deceit and omissions that is hard to move on from.

Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 07:57

I answered that question in a previous post where I used the cat analogy. I don't like repeating myself.

I can tell you unequivocally that every single human has done something wrong in their lifetime. Including you. Are you going to let it go or keep on keeping on until somebody breaks?

RandomMess · 16/02/2019 07:58

I agree Queen to explore this in therapy your options at the moment are to either accept a superficial relationship with your Mom or completely back off. I have witnessed a similar dynamic with DH and his parents SIL always got more support, help, money her DC favoured (cousins at school together) we just moved away in the end far better for his sanity. Irony is that SIL kicked off anytime she perceived we got anything basically if we spent time with PILs she was jealous and they pandered to it 🤷🏽‍♀️

@Sureyouwill you do realise that some mothers actually don't live their DC don't you? PND or no PND motherhood does not = automatic love for a child.

I grieved a long time when I realised that my DP didn't really care about me, the lifelong damage it has caused us something I have to "manage". It ebbs and flows and do my very best to parent differently.

Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 07:59

It's not my life, it's your life. You can disagree with me all you like. I'm not your family, I'm not going to indulge you for much longer.
If you don't give up on this though, you're going to give yourself an ulcer.

Sureyouwill · 16/02/2019 08:03

There's a great little poem that might help you.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

justausernamex · 16/02/2019 08:09

I think you are giving OP a hard time.

When I was a child, my little sister was always favoured, it wasn't shows in anything money wise, they were actually were equal because my parents wanted to be fair. It was shown in how much time was spent on us.

My sister struggled in school, while I had it easy, which means I was left to myself and expected to handle all of it myself.

Then it was shown in indulging my sisters tantrums, if we fought over anything, my sister got her way, because she was the young one. If she wanted to do something or eat at a certain restaurant, we were all expected to fit in around her. It was always small things that alene seemed harmless, but put together showed a pattern.

It all came to a head when I had moved away from home, put was over for dinner, and my dad said that I needed to be more assertive like my sister. I asked him how do you expect me to be assertive when you raised me to think that my opinion doesn't matter? And listed some examples.

I could see the lightbulb moment they apologised and i could see that they understood. This was a couple of years ago, and I can feel the difference, they listen more when I speak and they have begun to stand up to my sister and assert they're own wants and needs towards her. The change is slow, and years later it is not perfect and a lot better.

I think its the fact that they acknowledged my feelings and experiences right away instead of arguing Why they did What they did, and that it constantly fest better, that I have been able to forgive. The OP's mother hasn't done that, it is all about her and keeping her relationship to OP's sister.

IWonderedLonelyAsACloud · 16/02/2019 08:27

Ive been following your posts but havent had anything useful to add until now. I have two daughters aged 7 and 2. Both planned, but dd2 concieved and born after I miscarried at 13 weeks. Dd7 had colic. Eith dd7, right from the begining it was so hard. From being a mum for the first time, the fact she screamed for 7 months solid, maternity leave being lonely and isolating, meant her first few months, and mine as a mum, were traumatic. I couldnt breastfeed, I was a total failure and had a baby who hated me. As a toddler and child she is 'little miss independent' - often wanting me to leave her alone rather than do things with me. She always preferred her dad, and still does. At night she asks whos turn it is to put her to bed and if it is my turn she is disappointed. She even says 'aw' when its me and 'yay' when its her dad. I struggle with her, I struggle to connect with her. When she comes up and wants to kiss me on the lips I sometimes bristle and I dont know why. I always kiss and cuddle her, but if it is just a random request for affection I feel a hesitation that I dont feel with dd2. I dont feel hesitant with dd7 if she falls or is ill and needs me to comfort her - my motherly instincts are there. So I know it isnt a concious hesitation which actually makes it worse because I dont know how to stop it. With dd2, she was so precious because of the mc I admit that, but everything was so easy with her. I managed to breastfeed, she was content and settled as a baby. Our relationship and bond is so natural and easy. She is a real mummys girl and seems to want me. She is cuddly and affectionate. I sometimes feel like, now ive had dd2, I know what a relationship with your child is supposed to feel like. I hate myself for feeling this way. I know im letting DD7 down and im terrified I am emotionally scarring her because I worry she must 'know' that I feel more bonded with her sister than her. The guilt eats me up. I try really hard to make extra efforts with dd7 because of this. We tend to do lots of 1:1 things and I pay for her expensive keyboard lessons/swimming/gymnastics etc just to try and make up for the disparity in my feelings. I am terrified that my daughter could end up feeling like you in 20 years. Your mum is wrong. In every way. She is wrong and this is her fault like it is my fault. She should have tried everything in her power to have improved her bond with you. Not ignored you and put your sister first. Before anyone jumps on me - I know I am awful for how I feel. I would do anything to not feel this way and I do try really hard not to allow dd7 to suffer or feel the disparity. Ive never admitted how I feel to anyone in rl. OP, this is not your fault.

NWQM · 16/02/2019 08:29

Don’t worry OP there are plenty of us who will ‘indulge’ you.

In my opinion you had to take action when the behaviour of your Mum was being deflected from being between you and your sister to your children.

You could indeed move on etc but you could not subject them to it and you went NC. You are working to move forward... with your family. You are willing to let past behaviour go. It’s continued behaviour that quite rightly is the problem.

QueenofmyPrinces · 16/02/2019 08:40

What a beautifully honest post iwondered and thank you for sharing that.

It must be very hard for you to live with such deep feelings but please don’t compare myself to my mom because you are nothing like her. You can identify your different feelings towards your children, it clearly upsets you, you do what you can to improve the bond you have with your eldest and you worry about how it will affect your children in the future and all of those factors show that you are a good mother even if you don’t feel like you are.

We see threads on MN all the time where mothers talk about having a deeper bond with one child over the other and I imagine it’s more common that people believe - probably because parents can feel ashamed to admit that, even if the reasons for it are as valid as yours.

My mother always made it clear I wasn’t planned/wanted, she overtly made it clear that my sister was preferred and favoured and she never showed any remorse for doing so. She didn’t hide it from me at all and she knew exactly what she was doing.

Believe me, you are nothing like my mother Flowers

OP posts:
QueenofmyPrinces · 16/02/2019 08:45

Thank you NWQM.

I know I can’t change the past, my parent’s actions over the last 20+ years can’t be undone but I don’t think it’s wrong of me to ask for things to change from now on.

OP posts:
theWarOnPeace · 16/02/2019 09:06

It is really fascinating how money gets so strongly interwoven into dysfunctional relationships. My mum basically ruined my sister, by making her an irresponsible and selfish user with no emotional skills (just like my mum herself). A lot of what pissed me off over the years was not only the different treatment overall, but the money thrown at my sister. Why that angered me so much, I can’t really explain, especially as I’ve never been truly poor, and I’m generous and relaxed with money and don’t have any issues there. My mum, like yours, can only skim the surface of how much it messed everyone up, the way she treated us. She will never ever look inwards and ask herself deep and heavy questions about her role in it all. I’ve never been scared to pull her up on anything, and therefore always been marked as jealous or bitter, meanspirited and callous. That’s the party line, that my sister is a sad little thing that needs help, I’m some sort of playground bully, that wants to take down the weakling for my own amusement. I am so open to criticism and definitely have strong self awareness, and this is so wide off the mark it’s almost laughable. It’s taken years and years and years of me explain to my mum the problems that have grown and multiplied because of her behaviour. I’ve had to go NC with my sister because she’s so nasty and awful and so is her DH (think drugs and DV on both sides, all around their poor kids), and my mum has always turned a blind eye and thrown money at the problem. Won’t hear a bad word about my sis and her choices at all. When we finally reached a total impasse and I couldn’t even talk to her, something seemed to click, and my mum changed superficially. She started buying stuff for my children and taking them out, even gave me money for something that left me dumbfounded - she’d never given me a penny before despite spending probably upwards of 150k on my sister. I banged on about her still not ‘getting it’ and just sweeping the issues under the rug, but she point blank refused to analyse it further, she’s just improved her actions a bit, but the issues have never been directly addressed. I would say I’m getting closer to accepting her, and the situation as a whole, we don’t argue now mainly because my sister isn’t able to constantly throw a spanner in the works, but also because she seems to be completely incapable of introspection and/or change on any level. I say all this because I recognise this in your mum. She’s troubleshooting on the surface, smoothing things over for a peaceful life going forward, and may never ever truly accept that she’s responsible for the problems within the family. The way I’ve accepted it is this. I am bigger, stronger, cleverer, and more capable than the rest of my family put together. I am and I know it. I CAN cope with the way I’ve always been treated, maybe it’s even made me who I am, and I’m happy with myself. What I will not tolerate though, is any of this shit then trickling down to my children. Literally no fucking way. So I allow my mum to paper over the cracks (my cracks really), and throw money and time and effort at my kids, and because she’s doing this she’s actually formed relationships with them, proper ones, and I just let it all wash past when it comes to me. She will not change. She will not accept that she was wrong. She apologised and changed but she doesn’t believe she was wrong, I know she doesn’t. But. If my children can have a lovely grandparent relationship, then I will bury my feelings about it all because I don’t want them to grow up with the same feelings that I did. I’ve manipulated the situation to benefit them, I guess. I’ve made my mum, through guilt, actually do things with my kids and spend money on them, and she’s I think been surprised to find that she enjoys them and they enjoy her. I stop her from buying them shit to appease them or make them happy for five minutes, and tell her to take them to something they’d both enjoy. She does as I ask, and everyone’s happier for it. As an example, she’ll say “oh I’m going to get DGS1 that mega expensive toy I’ve seen advertised for his birthday” (something he’s not even slightly interested in) and I’ll say that there’s a film out that he’s dying to see, plus he’ll get too many toys from his party, so why not go to the cinema with him? So they go and they have a lovely time and everyone’s happy, right? I’m the only one getting hurt really, I’m the only one acutely aware of the truth of her. So I guess I’m just warning you and preparing you for that. That one day you might have to accept it and be that bigger person that SHE made you! She made you probably the least fragile person around her. This is how I view my mum. She’s treated me the worst, but it’s made me the only person in the family actually able to withstand her, and to understand her behaviour from arms length. Everyone else is in the web.

woollyheart · 16/02/2019 09:07

I agree with @NWQM

You have patiently accepted treatment as the undeserving child.

But you love your own children too much to let them be treated the same way.

Most people will understand this.