Would you confront somebody who lies about cancer?

[AutonomousSim]

I suspect somebody I know is fabricating health issues for attention, again. I have no proof other than past behaviour so don't know if I can outright call them a liar. This is the third time in three/four years they have strongly implied they have cancer (there has been other occasions where they've pretended to be at deaths door for other things and turned out to be fine)

The first time they said the hospital believed they had lung cancer and had everybody thinking they'd die then was magically given the all clear.

The second time they said they found a lump elsewhere that apparently turned out to be a boil in the end after having everybody worry about them for months.

Now they're saying there's another lump so they called their GP and were told that they'll being given an appointment at the hospital for "a couple months time" to investigate for cancer BUT they haven't seen the GP in person

Perhaps coincidentally but these announcements come about when they aren't getting much attention.

I hate to be so cynical but my spidey senses are screaming out that it's all for attention. Their relatives take no notice for this reason because they're known to lie, alot.

They do not have health anxiety, they do however love attention.

Would you call them out or not?

@Amazonian27 I'm sorry about your diagnosis Amazonian. I wouldn't dream of calling somebody a liar unless absolutely sure, and until now I haven't said a bad word to or about her.

She was lying about having lung cancer initially and that's why people don't believe these further proclamations. There are no end of inconsistencies and it's not just about the way she said her GP is treating lumps, I'm not sure if you saw the screenshots but initially she was implying it would be cancer then when pressed she completely backtracked and said its not cancer she knew what it was and it was blood poisoning.

She's never had any lumps removed or biopsied in the past either.

@NorthernRunner I've been very understanding and tolerant of her ways up until now and didn't cut her off completely because I wondered whether there was something else going on that caused her to lie.

Her DS has suggested she has a personality disorder as she lies compulsively with no explanation for it, but who knows. She definitely has issues with controlling and manipulative behaviour and likes to be the centre of attention.

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/factitious-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20356028

Sounds like Maunchousans. I'd back off. Nothing you can do to stop them.

I was reading up about munchausens earlier on too, I thought it seemed fitting but the only difference is is she lies about a vast array of things in general and not just her health.

Blocking her and backing away from the friendship sounds like a good move. Who needs this drama in their lives?!

No I didn’t see them AutonomousSim that’s different some people for whatever reason are exaggerators and or compulsive liars. I would give her a wide berth though OP.

I have a work colleague who is part of a wider group i sometimes socialise with she doesn’t lie or I don’t think she does but she has a habit of always bigging herself, her family or anything they are doing up. She dismisses others or what they say unless it links into herself or her agenda and she always turns the conversation around to herself which is also annoying. I try to ignore and engage her as little as poss.

My illness was a suspected lung cancer to begin with.

I suppose my question really should have been: why are you still friends with this person?

We're not as close as we used to be but I kept her as a friend albeit at arms length because she doesn't have that many friends left. Her close family rarely bother with her, in part due to the lying, and she's as bit lonely.

Of course her loneliness won’t help her lying, she will probably do it more. I do feel sorry for her, she must be desperately sad. But it isn’t for you to deal with, that’s not fair on you either. Sounds like a really crappy situation, sorry OP

It sounds as if her personality is disordered
I’d just steer well clear

We don't live close by so all contact is over the phone and social media so that makes it easier to keep my distance

I think she probably needs help but it's not really your problem op. I would just keep her at arms length. One good thing about social media is you can keep in touch without seeing the person too much. I feel a bit sorry for her but lying about cancer is horrible.