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Original poster

Is this sexism and can i complain?

200 replies

Tiscold · 15/01/2019 18:46

Ok, me and my partner (male) wanted to relive a bit of our youth and go clubbing / night out yesterday as generally there's really good discounts on sundays and its a bit more relaxed.

So we approach a club and theres one line for both sexes but females have to go to the left once they reach the front and show ID to a female bouncer and males to the right and male bouncer. No issue so far.

This club charges an entry free "to help manage the crowds and improve the experience plus to absorb the costs of people not drinking and just coming and dancing after getting drunk at home" . I'm asked to pay £2.50 entry free and enter, my partner comes in and is grumbling that on a cheap night they've charged him a fiver for just entry.

Now surely that isn't right and is sex discrimination? They're charging more for men to enter then females even though we both use the same service. Am i being petty to complain and idk report them to somewhere or should i just get over it?

OP posts:
NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/01/2019 08:48

Tiscold you are getting worked up now it's silly.

Just make your complaint to the council and follow it up from there.

Most women on this thread agree that it is discriminatory to charge the man more than the woman. Some have said that they don't think it's a big deal. A couple of said it's a tiny thing why bother.

You are acting as if everyone is violently disagreeing with you when they aren't.

I think it would be good if you took a little break and got on with some real life stuff, maybe write the complaint.

RedTartanLass · 16/01/2019 08:49

Apprently we should be happy with sexism so long as in benifets us yet we should complain vigorously if it disadvantages us massively?

This ^

I can't believe believe some of these comments! Totally agree with you @Tiscold

SouthernComforts · 16/01/2019 08:51

Not read every post so sorry if I'm repeating, but would it be different in your opinion it it was marketed as a sale? So women's tickets half price? Clothes shops do men's sales and women's sales all the time, is this sexist?

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/01/2019 08:51

I just had a google and clicked the first hit here www.legalcheek.com/2016/03/are-ladies-nights-legal/

This comment near the end was interesting

"I have often wondered how this goes on without challenge.

Likely answer: guys benefit too much from it."

AngeloMysterioso · 16/01/2019 08:54

A lot of places don't allow groups of men in either, unless they have women with them.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/01/2019 08:56

Fourth link when I googled "is it illegal to have ladies night uk" was about VAWG

5th and 6th are about whether it's legal to have female only events.

We know that some men have a real issue with things being "women only". And act to open them up to men / and if they won't do that to shut them down - this happens a lot. Things that are really trivial and very unlike the things women wanted into > things that were about netoworking, decision making etc. This is stuff liek 1 hour a week womens swimming at the local pool. Do you get very angry about that sort of thing as well, OP? What about GG being female only while Boy Scouts is mixed sex? Angry times?

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/01/2019 08:59

It is a reasonable point.

Men are not backward in coming forward when they think things aren't fair.
This practice continues.
Therefore it is not unreasonable to imagine that there is a reason for this, as that comment said, probably because of the benefits it gives them.

I'm not a bloke and I never went to clubs that were free for laydeez as I didn't want to get treated like a pieve of eye candy / meat (which is the point, whether OP agrees or not). I would have been happy to ALWAYS pay 2.50 more than the men to get in if it had meant that I would have been free from harrassment / groping / creepy weirdness when inside.

ShartGoblin · 16/01/2019 08:59

Firstly I would definitely check if the club advertises prices online to make sure they don't have a ladies night / men's night each week so on another day men get in for half the price.

Otherwise, I'm with you OP. This is sexist, maybe it is minor to women but it's things like this that let sexist men feel validated because they can brand us hypocrites. To be honest, they would have a point. It's not ok to say we want equality then when something is in our favour to ignore it because men have more perks.

The biggest road block in gaining equality seems to be that both "sides" don't really want to fight for the other and want to keep the perks we have. We need to actually recognise that men are not the enemy, this isn't a competition. What good does it do to argue with each other about who is worse off instead of working together to improve things? In a race to the bottom everybody loses...

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/01/2019 09:02

I don;t know why you're posting that
Loads of women have told OP advice on how to complain
Loads agree with her
She is going to complain even though it was her OH it happened to (he isn't fussed) so she is totally doing the work for him

Your post is very nicely worded but doesn't reflect the actual thread.

MaxTeyon · 16/01/2019 09:05

If women wanted to say play golf, and the club charged more would that be ok?

You realise that golf club membership fees usually differ for men and women right? It’s often the other way round and cheaper for women though.

MargueritaPink · 16/01/2019 09:06

And I am finding it hilarious that one poster is claiming that there's no proof that women are charged less to get them in, in order to get the men in

Me too.

Missingstreetlife · 16/01/2019 09:15

Men get paid more than women?

SheAlreadyDoneHadHerses · 16/01/2019 09:15

I agree with you OP. It's stsbt sexism. Also don't place any value on the whole argument that the clubs are "optimising their male to female ratio"?!? I mean WTF? This perpetuates the trend of nightclubs as some kind of meat market and that there needs to be enough women to "go around" ugh vom.

SheAlreadyDoneHadHerses · 16/01/2019 09:16

Sorry *blatant sexism

Mysterian · 16/01/2019 09:26

It's obvious sexual discrimination. The argument "but paying more benefits men" is a little odd. A bit like "wolf whistles are compliments" reasoning.

Original poster
Tiscold · 16/01/2019 09:34

I don't care about female only spaces as that isn't against the law.

But letting bith sexes in but treating them differently is sexist and illegal.

Maybe I'm getting to heated, but i hate being called a MRA wheb literally the day before i was working with a womens abuse and womens refuge charity, so yes i will take a break for an hour or so and breath

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 16/01/2019 09:38

Why are you getting your knickers in a twist when this benefits women, stop trampling in the few benefits we do get

Ah, so sexism is fine as long as it benefits women...

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/01/2019 09:54

"Also don't place any value on the whole argument that the clubs are "optimising their male to female ratio"?!? I mean WTF? This perpetuates the trend of nightclubs as some kind of meat market and that there needs to be enough women to "go around" ugh vom."

Maybe get together with the OP and make a two pronged complaint to the club involved? Might make you feel liek you're taking action. I can see this has upset you.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/01/2019 09:57

"I don't care about female only spaces as that isn't against the law. "

Lots of men do and have had success closing them down / opening them up on the basis that they ARE against the law.

So I mean this just shows up that different people have different ideas and drivers.

So men who complain about eg womens swimming hour you "don't care" BUT when it's something you DO care about (your OH paying £2.50 more to get into a club) you get REALLY angry when everyone doesn't get incredibly angry with you at the injustice etc

That's rank hypocracy, surely?

Original poster
Tiscold · 16/01/2019 10:18

But it isn't against the law.
You can have male and female only clubs, but if you let both in then you've to treat them equally which the club didn't.

I don't get angry that people don't care i get angry I'm called a MRA and told to get over it, sexism isn't a big deal.

It's rank hypocracy for people on this thread to complain about sexism against women but not against men. But expect them to support us in our battles against sexism.

OP posts:
userschmoozer · 16/01/2019 10:23

On the first page you had 8 answers. No one said yabu. None were in favour, 2 stated its illegal.
You answered. '' if you all think I'm unreasonable then i won't complain''.

Can you see how it might look as if you posted this with an agenda?

OlennasWimple · 16/01/2019 10:25

I was told that the reason the club I used to go to tried to keep at least a 2:1 ratio of men to women was to reduce the likelihood of fights, not to commodify women

Original poster
Tiscold · 16/01/2019 10:28

Well you cant read clearly as some said i did.

How is saying if people think I'm overreacting i won't complain then an agenda?it is literally sayingif everyone disagrees with me then fine i won't complain. But then more people posted in support of me so i did Confused

What agenda would that be? Apart from to highlight what i thought was sexism, ask if it is and then complain?

Is this sexism and can i complain?
OP posts:
Original poster
Tiscold · 16/01/2019 10:30

Cant upload my other screenshots for some reason but read again.

Literally the 3rd 4th and 5th poster said it doesnt matter and is fine and is normal and good business sense.

OP posts:
momomia · 16/01/2019 11:17

It isn't sexism - sexism has to be backed up by systemic and institutional power; women can face sexism as society is patriarchal but men can not.

It can be considered discrimination.

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