To enforce a no smoking for 24 hours before seeing my kids rule?

[Seline]

It sounds ridiculous but my kids are extreme prems and were incredibly unwell. Both have chronic lung disease although luckily they are not on oxygen anymore and I've told people who want to visit not to smoke for 24 hours because I don't want my children exposed to second hand smoke when they've had problems with their breathing already. Apparently some people have said they think I'm bonkers for this.

Is it too over the top? They were both vented, both struggled to lose the oxygen.

I also have very premature twins who have chronic lung disease. One came home on oxygen. The are toddlers now but when they were babies I was very cautious of smoking around them. Luckily the only person in my family who smokes is my brother. I just asked him to change into new clothes he hadn’t smoked in and wash his hands properly before he visited. It wasn’t a problem.

Also for when they’re older, be careful of bbq’s and bonfire/fireworks smoke. If anyone’s having a bbq on your road, close all he windows and doors. This really triggered my twins wheezing when they were small.

I know it’s really hard when they’re poorly, try not to worry too much

I had a 27 weeker who also struggled to get off the oxygen and some of DH's famly were smokers at the time. I wouldn't have felt I could ask anyone not to smoke for 24 hours but I didn't want them holding her immediately after smoking either. FIL decided himself not to have a cigarette for a few hours before seeing her but I think it was more like 4 and he also used to change out of what he'd been wearing. We've never had a single issue with her breathing or anything. Congratulations on your twins, it's a very scary time when you first get them home!

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all given their very early arrival. But as other have said, smokers will no way comply with a 24 hour rule and this will make you sound nuts (but you're absolutely NOT nuts, they just won't get it.)
Easier to say that smokers are welcome once they're in smoke free clothes. Tbh, it doesn't matter how bonkers people think you are, their your babies, you decide.

Congratulations! My sister's friend had a 24+1 baby who just went home and is doing really well. It's scary stuff though so you do whatever you need to do to make you feel you're protecting your babies.

I think it's fair enough... maybe 12 hours but it's your unwell baby. If they want to see them that much then they can refrain from fags for a day (and I'm a smoker)

And smokers can stop for 24 hours if it's important.... I used to stop for a week when I saw my parents and then start back up again.
Quitting his difficult, but abstaining for a day is very doable

I've never smoked, hate it with a passion.

But I think a change of clothes, brush teeth and proper hand washing is enough.

They'd be doing the children more of a favour if they also didn't drive into your road. Car fumes are the biggest cause of lung disease in children.

24 hours seems somewhat arbitrary? I get your concern, I could never stand smokers being around my babies. But I am very intolerant of smoking in general.. why don't you look up how much time actually passes before smokers stop exhaling the harmful stuff, I think it's only an hour or so.

I understand your concerns, we had big rows with DH family about smoking and we didn't have a pram baby. I think a more reasonable suggestion would be to ask that they come showered, teeth brushed and in fresh clothes after their last cig? It's not perfect but for occasional visits I'm sure that would almost make any risk obsolete. Smoke coming off the hair and body 24 hours later is more of a risk IMO than someone who has smoked but completely refreshed everything after x

BlackPrism, thays very individual.

My Mum would struggle and even pop out for one when she was a day patient.

My eldest DD is someone that you don't want to be around if she hasn't had a ciggies.

Your DC, you set the rules. It’s simple.

You and your DH really should think about what is best for your DC.

Babies are not toys and, particularly babies who have had a difficult start, should not be shared around people for their own fun. Most babies would prefer to be cuddled by their DM when very small.

My family has a history of severe asthma so I banned all smokers from holding them and refused to back down. When challenged, I pointed out that the DC were too young to care if X or Y cuddled them and that the cuddles were both not for their benefit and potentially harmful.

I come from the point of view that when you have a baby, you need help and not something that makes you feel stressed or worried. So yes to a quick hold from a non smoker at an appropriate time, yes to turning up, bringing lunch and cleaning up and no to turning up, waking baby and leaving extra work when you leave. It’s not difficult to be kind and thoughtful.

My own personal experience was that people who are usually fine and reasonable were the same around my new babies. The selfish and thoughtless continued to be aggravating and I had less patience for it.

I think the type of concern is fair but 24 hours is probably OTT. In terms of breath the pollutants should be washed out within a couple of minutes:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2598442/

If it was me I think I'd ask for fresh (unsmoked in) clothes and wash hands, or just judge it by smell.

How will you manage this? People sneak smokes all the time with no evidence. Nanny cams on their bodies?

Pollution?

Categoric you share my views exactly. I'm a practical sort. DH is more sentimental and we once had a discussion about lavish parties for first birthdays. He thought it was a lovely expression of love, I said the baby wouldn't care and would rather be chewing the cardboard box so it's a waste of money. I also can't stand people posing for photos with my babies. It makes it all about them rather than the babies. So DH and I are quite different in terms of what we value on this.

However I've just spoke to him and he's happy to limit visits for every smoker except one person and that one person is very respectful and polite so I don't anticipate he'd have an issue showering and wearing fresh clothes before seeing us.

For the pp who asked I picked 24 hours as I figured people will most likely have showered once in that time.

the staff who smoke on their breaks will wear something over their uniform

I still see medical staff smoking in full uniforms outside the hospital, where it isn't even permitted to smoke.

I was involved professionally with a couple who had a micro preemie and spent many many months in hospital and was on oxygen for over a year. The father was told he could not have contact with the baby if he had been smoking within the 3 hour period of seeing her. He had to have fresh clothes, hands washed (witnessed by staff at contact centre) and this was the advice given by medical staff at the hospital.

From your title I though yes, YABU, but actually 3 month old twins born at 26 weeks shouldn’t even be out in the world yet. You do whatever you need to to keep yourself feeling safe.

Enjoy your twins, they’re hard work but fantastic fun as they grow x

I wouldn't let a smoker hold a newborn baby, let alone one that was born prematurely.

Your babies' well being tops any relatives addiction. Hands down.

I was too polite to ask a relative to leave when they came to visit my 4 day old baby that was born at 36 weeks - they had a streaming cold. 3 days later my DD was admitted to intensive care with bronchiolitis and was so very very poorly. My politeness has yet to make a reappearance 20 odd years later

Both of my DS's dedicated nurses in NICU smoked. And was in for intubated for a lung virus. Didn't bother me.

For everyone who says the op is BU to expect smokers not to smoke for 24 hours, can I just point out the op is not expecting anything at all.

She is offering a choice. The smokers are free to choose. They can choose to smoke within 24 hours or not. Whether they see her baby depends on THEIR choice, not her expectation.

I actually don't think this is unreasonable at all for very premature babies with a chronic lung condition. I think most smokers will struggle to do it, but that's just what happens when you're addicted to something.

I wouldn't let a smoker hold a peen baby.

NOBODY can tell you want is best for your kids.

I’m so sorry that they have to deal with these problems. May I make a suggestion ? If you think 24 hours is ott then what my midwife told me is that the top layer of clothing, costs, jumpers etc and wash hand really well before coming anywhere next to the baby? I do this at home as I don’t like smokers around my 12 week old.

My OH smokes all day at work so he showers and changes before holding baby after work. I literally don’t care if anybody thinks this is ott. It has nothing to do with them. 😊

But personally I wouldn’t let a smoker that had smoked come next to them.

Their health is more important than somebody’s dirty, nasty habit.

I'm a smoker (not a lot though) and if my friend asked for this I'm not sure I could do it.
I would however, agree to have a shower, wash hair, clean clothes, clean teeth before I visit if that would help.
Could you enforce that rule until they are a bit better with their breathing.
I would totally understand!

They are your children and yes you may be being a bit OTT, but it's your decision. I personally don't think you are BU, I didn't let my DS go to people who had been smoking and told my MIL they he wouldn't be visiting for a while as long as she was smoking in her house, she quit before DS arrived to ensure her visits wouldn't be jepodised.
Your babies health is the most important thing and being over cautious is better than not IMO. If people in this day and age still don't realise the issues that second hand smoke can cause, it just baffles me.

Stick to your guns IMO, if there is a concern of any other issues post baby then see your GP, but I wouldn't use this example to question it.