To enforce a no smoking for 24 hours before seeing my kids rule?

[Seline]

It sounds ridiculous but my kids are extreme prems and were incredibly unwell. Both have chronic lung disease although luckily they are not on oxygen anymore and I've told people who want to visit not to smoke for 24 hours because I don't want my children exposed to second hand smoke when they've had problems with their breathing already. Apparently some people have said they think I'm bonkers for this.

Is it too over the top? They were both vented, both struggled to lose the oxygen.

I don’t think you are being OTT at all given the circumstances of your DCs’ birth. But I also don’t think a 24 hour ban is enforceable. I would just request that they bring a clean top and wash their hands. I would probably also limit cuddle time and be explicit about why you are doing so. You are doing nothing wrong in protecting your tiny, vulnerable kids.

Yes very ott. And hospital respiratory wards don't recommend this. They are full of very ill people.

And agree that there are probably staff working in the unit who smoke.

Partinor unwell adults are very different to 26 weekers. My babies weren't even supposed to be out and so their respiratory system was very underdeveloped and has had to develop in non ideal circumstances and with interventions like ventilation which can cause damage although life saving and necessary.

Dts were Orem and I get where you are coming from but it a little over the top! FIL was a smoker when they were born and when they finally came home I made him change his top and thoroughly wash hands - that was on the advice of the peads.

I ask anti-backed everyone and everything for a good few months. That was me being totally neurotic but it just felt like something I could do to protect them.

Hospitals don't recommend this because it is not socially acceptable to say.. 'stop smoking you are putting yourself at risk and you are risking the lives of others'. It is our human right to smoke after all.

Also, I do not think that reactions are fully accepted and understood and the attitude that allergy suffers should carry an epi pen or asthma suffers should use their inhaler ignores the fact that the reaction in itself is damaging and the intervention is not without risks and side effects, even if life saving. If I could take my son to a place without smoke, off gassing chemicals, damp and mould, he would be without symptoms and we would be very happy. I do what I can to limit his exposure to his triggers and for the most part we avoid symptoms.

Oh my goodness! I hope your babies will continue to do well. So tiny! I think posters on here are being a bit mean. I don’t think you are at all unreasonable. If it were me, I don’t think Id want a smoker anywhere near them, however harsh. Your concern is your babies’ health. They must be so tiny and I can’t imagine the anxiety you’ve been through since they were born.
So, your concern is their health, making their environment the best it can be. That’s it. Not the feelings of extended family. If a smoker gets close to me it makes me feel urgh, why should a prem baby be made to feel discomfort just to placate an adult who should be big and ugly enough to get over themselves and accept responsibility for the consequences of their habit.?

Yes, it may be possible to enforce, but with what you’ve been through, you have the right to make your own rules to do what is best for your babies. I hope everything goes well for you all. Xx

I would explain your worries to family members but basically say if they smell of smoke when they arrive unfortunatly they won't be able to hold the babies. Then its up to them to not smoke if they want to hold babies.

You could lend people another top so it doesn't smell of smoke as well

Sorry ....”Impossible to enforce....”

If a smoker could stop for 24 hours they’d be able to give up. People won’t do it OP and I think it’s not reasonable to ask.

However in your shoes I’d be keeping extended family away until the babies were a bit stronger. Ask the medical team for advice on exposure and go with that.

DH needs to get his priorities sorted, the welfare of your babies is more important than a few hurt feelings amongst the extended family.

Personally, it might be worth talking to your hv about this. You may be feeling really anxious ref babies health ( completely understandably) but you really wouldn’t want it to control your life or prevent you and your babies from enjoying life, family members, trip out.

I am definately not suggesting you are doing anything wrong at all, but chat your concerns through with hv or gp and see what they say. Congratulations by the way. Sounds as though you’ve had a really stressful time. X

I think 24 hours is a difficult one to enforce - fresh clothes and a few hours abstinence, especially with an explanation that really emphasises the risk, would be reasonable. Even vile smokers are capable of understanding the risks and taking precautions. A cigarette doesn't bring about some sort of personality change as some other posters seem to be suggesting!
Your fears are totally reasonable, however I am concerned that your focus is entirely on cigarette smoke and not on other harmful chemicals and toxins that may be harmful.
Off-gassing from furniture, fire retardant chemicals and cleaning products can all be harmful. You can use entirely natural cleaning products to help with toxins in your home. Outside the home I would totally avoid any roadside walks with them, the pollution from traffic is my biggest concern - especially after recently learning about the dangers of brake dust.

I also don't think that it's enforceable, but my goodness I agree with the principle.

26weekers with chronic lung disease-people should be offering not to smoke!

We were advised to have people change tops/remove outer clothes and thoroughly wash hands up to the elbows by HCP's. DS was a 28 weeker with CLD and home oxygen.

He's has needed hospital a few times with normal croup/colds as his breathing still goes to shite but on the whole (he's 18 month now) has avoided needing serious intervention.

cigarette smoke & pathogens/chemicals hang around a long time after people have smoked - so I think you are not over the top

I'd just lie

easy why would you do that when you know the babies have been premature and unwell? Bit of an arsey thing to do.

Oh bless you Op. It's a really anxious time for parents, let alone if their babies are prem. Yours are only just full term in theory now.
I'm a paeds nurse at a children's hospital and honestly, taking them out for a walk around the park is one of the best things you can do. We often do that in the little square next door (and this is central London!) And their breathing improves dramatically: saturations and colour improve, babies that are notoriously difficult to settle seem to fall blissfully asleep, and it's good for parents too- a sense of normality and a bit of fresh air.
So make today the day you go out!
In terms of second hand smoke? Well yes a few of the nurses and doctors here smoke and then come back on shift. Parents of the babies here smoke, then come back to the ward..
They will be okay, op.

... ultimately though, you're the parent and it's your house, your rules. Short visits maybe at first. And don't ever feel like you can't ask for your baby back if they're the type of visitors who are cuddle theifs
And congratulations

You do realise people will just lie, dont you?

If someone had a 26 week prem, I’d be terrified of even picking the baby up, despite being a non smoker. Don’t know why people aren’t more thoughtful.

I would just restrict visits to parents and PILs assuming they are all non smokers. No need to be showing the babies round the extended family until they are bigger.

I get why you're worried, but you can't keep them sheltered inside forever. At some point they'll have to go outside and there are things around day to day which can be just as bad as smoking.

I don't think you'll ever be able to enforce a 24 hour smoking ban on them and it will cause more problems in terms of family relations down the line.

I agree with a pp in that your worry and fear for your children's health has latched itself onto other things.

You need to break that before it really takes control. Just go for a short walk with one or both babies round the block each day and extended it each week.

Prem babies are scary, but you can't lock them away.

My suggestion would be to ask your doctor about this. If he/she says it's bonkers, then it probably is.

These are premature babies that have Chronic Lung Disease and everyone is making exceptions for smokers.

For the record NICU nurses are not allowed to smoke in uniform outside the unit, whether they do or not is another story.

YANBU OP.