To enforce a no smoking for 24 hours before seeing my kids rule?

[Seline]

It sounds ridiculous but my kids are extreme prems and were incredibly unwell. Both have chronic lung disease although luckily they are not on oxygen anymore and I've told people who want to visit not to smoke for 24 hours because I don't want my children exposed to second hand smoke when they've had problems with their breathing already. Apparently some people have said they think I'm bonkers for this.

Is it too over the top? They were both vented, both struggled to lose the oxygen.

I don't actually think you're being unreasonable op. In time, once you know your little ones better, you're likely to relax but in the short term I think it's fair. I have a feeling when I asked NICU about it they said 4 hours, and to take off any outerwear and wash hands. I made that the rule but then if I could smell smoke I told relatives they could not hold DD. Some people were miffed, but others (like my heavy smoker mother) never questioned it (she even switched to vaping but still stuck to the rule) and it made me realise who was really on my side. There's clinical evidence about second hand smoke on peoples clothes having an adverse effect on children, so I really think this is something you can be a bit precious about.

Smoking ban is ott and likely to be resented if it only affects your dh’s side of the family. As other people have said change too and washing hands is more than enough. You do realise some of the staff caring for your child in nicu probably smoke too?

I have wondered whether neonatal unit staff smoke on their breaks, I'd hope not but some probably do. They don't cuddle the babies for hours and hours though so I'm not sure it's the same.

I don't have a problem with smoking and my usual rule is smoke in my garden not my house and dispose of your own mess. It's only because they've had medical problems that I worry about it.

YANBU.

We've come a long way, but people's addictions still get put before babies' and children's health, culturally, because we are used to accommodating smokers.

I wouldn't be letting a smoker hold my very prem babies. I very rarely let smokers hold my healthy full-term ones, tbh. And that included MIL. She knew she would be having a lot more contact if she didn't smoke, but she still chose to smoke. Sad, but her choice.

not smoking for 4 hours sounds reasonable op.

I think that a couple of hours, wash hands and clean top world be fair. I would worry too and ask for advice.

the neonatal staff likely dont smoke, or they wear coats if they do smoke and wash their hands.

I'll have a chat to the consultant and ask about the 4 hour rule.

I think you are being ott, just ask them not to smoke just before a visit or during. Your children will not be sent home if they were at risk. I speak as a mother of a 28 weeker!

I don't think YABU. I wouldn't have wanted a smoker in the same clothes around mine as a newborn. Got a bit more relaxed after 6 months.

I think clean hands, (and maybe a clean top) is something that can be enforced, and therefore is more realistic than 24hrs. Unless the people have been in your sight for the previous 24hrs, you wont know if they have abided by the rule or not.
Congrats on your twins

I think YABU to expect people not to smoke for 24 hours (and to know if they actually have done so before visiting); but it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ensure good hygiene before being around your babies. Can you put a hook up near the door and ask/tell people to hang up outside jackets etc as the smell seems to linger on those, make sure their hands are washed and even use mouthwash/gum to get the smell off their breath. Seems a fair compromise, and your DH should be the one to tell them!

Thanks Hot!

I think you're being OTT I'm afraid OP. smelling smoke on someone's clothes is in no way the same as breathing in second hand smoke. A smell won't hurt your babies. It's reasonable to ask them to change into fresh tops though and wash their hands before cuddles.

There will 100% be staff who smoke on their breaks. If it were harmful to the babies this wouldn't be allowed.

I think it's a little worrying that you're thinking this way... It's normal to be anxious about your baby but this does s seem a little paranoid. I think you should talk to someone about how you're feeling to s if you could have PND or anything.

Congratulations on your babies.

I'm not a smoker, but if I was I think I could probably understand that you wouldn't want smoke lingering around, as it does on clothes etc. As the other posters have said, you can't really tell a smoker not to smoke, but you could tell them that because your babies are fragile right now, people that smoke can't come into contact with them. Who knows? It might cause them to have a think about their habit. x

Have you consulted a medical professional about this?

I don't think I have PND. I don't feel down, flat, sad or irritable and I don't feel generally off. I'm just glad and relieved the nicu and scbu is nearly behind us and don't want anything that could put the DTs back in hospital.

Goodness me your teeny tiny babies must been a worry, you can't really anybody not to smoke for 24hrs really maybe a couple of hours at most but not a day, put out your worries to them smokers know it is horrible habit they will or should understand if not well they can't be cuddiling a baby.

the staff who smoke on their breaks will wear something over their uniform

I understand where you are conmjng from.op but i think you are a little ott. If it eas that easy to not smoke then people wouldn't smoke! How would you police it? Chances are people would end up lying to you. I would ask them not to smoke for a couple of hours before they cone round. If thry smell of it when they arrive dont let them in.

I would also suggest seeing your gp you seem very (understandably) anxious.

You know what, I'm a smoker and I would understand this and would do it. For a family member or a close friend, I'd manage it, because I love them. For anyone else, I'd understand and see the babies when they were older. I always do the coat, hat and hand wash anyway, because I don't want it to impact on my own children (much older). I think 12 hours is a more reasonable request though.

Oh bless you. You have had enough worry with them being born so teeny.

I don’t think yabu at all. It’s a difficult one to enforce them to not smoke for 24 hours though and I think to speak to the consultant is a good idea.

The four hour rule sounds more sensible as does washing hands and a clean top. I wouldn’t be letting them kiss the babies either.

You could try and enforce it, however you will alienate all those smokers and the smokers family.

Hi i had a 20 minutes clear minimum on my newborn. Thats the minimum suggested when i asked hv. Apparently the majority if chemicals have gone then and its just smell.
20mins is reasonable for someone to stick to and the you just get them to wash hands and take their jacket off. I made my mum do it and she was totally fine

They are literally term babies corrected. Essentially biologically they would potentially not even have been born yet. I understand totally how fragile they must seem. I actually don’t think you are being totally unreasonable. Maybe several hours and a shower and clean top? I don’t think that is unreasonable at all