AIBU to be angry that this is still happening!

[CosmicCanary]

Bristol News

I know this is not the only girl this has happened to. I know there will be many many girls who have suffered the same humiliation in school just today.

I was one of them many years ago.
So many times i bled through my pad in lesson but I knew asking to go to the toilet in would be met with a NO so i didn't bother. It was a humiliation in its self for the whole class to know you needed the loo. Such a public audience for an other wise private act.

I have already told my DDs should they need the toilet they must ask but if refused walk out of lesson if they absolutely cannot wait and I will deal with school.
They will not suffer the humiliation and shame of leaving blood on a school chair as I did.

OP, I've said before I am not a teacher.

I've also said twice now I am not comparing a phone to the toilet Again I am saying that rules are made to address the behaviour of some, often penalising others. That is what they are examples of.

What does teachers being attacked have to do with children using the toilet?
Because you have spent a big part of this thread arguing that there is no problem with behaviour in schools and that if it is it can be easily dealt with. These figures shows that not to be the case. Behaviour, and violent behaviour, is a big problem. Which is why some schools have to act.

Salem

I don't know if you are in primary or secondary. I am talking about secondary. No one at school would know if children are collected or not - most make their own way home and most here catch buses or trains. The school don't know where they are or how they travel home.

Our office shut at 3.30. School finished at 3.15. If they stayed for any clubs or went on a trip and got back late the office was long closed.

I also don't understand your issue with the caretaker. If it took 10 minutes to lock up the toilets that would be over estimating. Plus at the end of lunch the middays locked them and no break in the afternoon as only 1 lesson after lunch so they locked them at start of lessons, unlocked them and locked them morning break and unlocked at lunch. Not very time consuming. I think you are fixating on nothing.

@GrammarTeacher

Do you have no comment to make on the article reporting on 8000 attacks on teachers per year?

Clearly the 4 schools that you worked in aren't the full picture

Again I am saying that rules are made to address the behaviour of some, often penalising others. That is what they are examples of.

Not having a phone in school will not result in a health problem, distress or humiliation of a child will it?
The toilet ban can and does result in those things.

Weet none of those rules you listed will cause any harm to a child thats why it is ridiculous for you to mention them. They are not in any way comparable to needing to use the toilet. Why do you think they are?

Attacks on teachers are a completely different problem. I have been attacked a couple of times myself. Sod all to do with toilets and dealt with by the schools in question.
It wasn't mentioned as a question to me so not sure why you thought I had to respond. It's a different issue. Deal with the individuals. I can't think of a single attack on a teacher that has been prevented by denying access to toilets!

I've been punched by one student, and had a chair thrown at me by another. Standard comp. On both occasions I was blamed by the parents for not dealing with the situation properly. Now I agree that nowadays I am MUCH better at de-escalation, but even in hindsight I didn't do anything that wrong, other than try to keep the students back after the lesson to have a word about behaviour and lack of work.

@Weetabixandshreddies you're not a teacher? I am. I have been attacked. Closing the toilets would not have prevented that. Hope that helps.

@Anewoneforme - my police officer husband agrees with me that we could all benefit from being taught the negotiation skills they use in the service.

Using the toilet to have a quick wee is one thing, dealing with a messy period while trying not to rustle too much because let's face it, at that age you want to die of embarrassment, take a heck of a lot longer and yes, cuts down time to actually eat lunch. I found school very unforgiving re periods when I was a young teen in the late 80's and early 90's - I hoped things might have changed.

Grammar I did! got some informal training off a police officer friend :)

The schools I've been in that lock toilets do because there is not the staff to monitor more than one block during lessons, and it's to guard against vandalism, slef harm, drug taking, suicide and sex. So safeguarding. I don't agree with it but I'm not sure if there's any easy solution as well. You can't let some pupils go and not others without opening a whole other can of worms

Oh yeah, and poo smearing urgh

Attacks on teachers are a completely different problem.

I agree. I have no idea why the attacks on teachers information was posted on a thread about students needing the toilet and been told no?

Derailing?
Deflection maybe?
Justification?

Either way thats not what this thread is about.
Its about an 11 yo girl that was twice refused the use of a toilet which resulted in her bleeding through her clothes and threatened with a bad mark if she went to the toilet. Even after her mum had talked to the school.

Of course it's relevant. It's indicative of the behaviour in schools. Funny GrammarTeacher how when I've been talking about this you've been stating that there are no behaviour problems in any of the 4 schools you've worked in yet now you've been attacked a couple of times? Those students who did that would have been in the school before that. Do you not think they might have been causing trouble elsewhere before they attacked you or were they total angles and then suddenly flipped?

I am not a teacher, no. But I've been a school governor for many years, heavily involved in permanent exclusion hearings and in disciplinary meetings with children at risk of exclusion. I've heard what they've done to be excluded and read pages of SIMS reports detailing their behaviour up to that point. I know what goes on.

And no OP I don't suppose not having a phone is dangerous. Although when you have to walk back from school in the dark with no way of contacting home maybe it puts you at a bit of a risk? Possibly as dangerous as not being allowed to go to the toilet for 20 minutes I suppose.

cosmic I think it was just to colour the picture about poor behaviour in schools.

I think a lot of the safeguarding problems /locked toilets could be dealt with by providing the offending pupils with sufficient counselling and resources needed as a lot of it is due to MH problems trauma and abuse. But again that is money.

And if it was the second time she could have took precautions and had a note from home

Her mum spoke to the school after the first time.
What precautions do you suggest? How would she get a note if it happened in class?

Have you bothered to read the article or did you just come on to the thread to bleat about bad children and their pathetic need to use the toilet

One of my fellow co-ordinators of the redboxproject.org linked to this a few days ago. It's shocking.

How do u think female teachers cope with periods

I would imagine as adults they have had many many more years of dealing with their periods, understanding their needs better and would in most cases have some form of time table. Very unlike 11 yo girls who have just started dont you think?

Why are you comparing adults to children?

OP I've read it. I feel for the girl in question but we don't really have both sides of the story so it's a little difficult to judge objectively.

Maybe if everyone took a bit more personal responsibility, so went to the toilet before class, respected school property, behaved in class - so no disrupting lessons, followed school rules then most of the issues would be solved. Then I'm sure schools would be fine allowing students out once they know that a)the need is genuine and b)they aren't going to cause trouble.

If a teacher knows that a particular child has been in trouble for vandalism or fighting in the toilets before should they let them go whenever they ask?

So why was a toilet pass not issued?

Christ how lazy are you?
Read the bloody article!

Maybe if everyone took a bit more personal responsibility, so went to the toilet before class, respected school property, behaved in class - so no disrupting lessons, followed school rules then most of the issues would be solved. Then I'm sure schools would be fine allowing students out once they know that a)the need is genuine and b)they aren't going to cause trouble.

How many times
Periods especially for young girls are not like clock work. Even grown women can be caught out!
Also why should the behaviour of some students be the responsibility of all students? They are not a hive mind!
You are yet again advocating the removal of all students dignity for the acts of some.

How would a teacher know if the need was genuine? How would that be checked exactly? How would a student prove it?