Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry that this is still happening!

646 replies

CosmicCanary · 14/01/2019 23:41

Bristol News

I know this is not the only girl this has happened to. I know there will be many many girls who have suffered the same humiliation in school just today.

I was one of them many years ago.
So many times i bled through my pad in lesson but I knew asking to go to the toilet in would be met with a NO so i didn't bother. It was a humiliation in its self for the whole class to know you needed the loo. Such a public audience for an other wise private act.

I have already told my DDs should they need the toilet they must ask but if refused walk out of lesson if they absolutely cannot wait and I will deal with school.
They will not suffer the humiliation and shame of leaving blood on a school chair as I did.

OP posts:
GrammarTeacher · 19/01/2019 13:30

If you only allow a few in at a time what if they don't get a turn? When should they go then? Ridiculous. Schools should deal with the actual behaviour problems.

jacomax · 19/01/2019 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GrammarTeacher · 19/01/2019 14:16

And yet they have to be policed? Deal with the minority who can't behave. Much better use of everyone's time

Tinty · 19/01/2019 15:03

And yet they have to be policed? Deal with the minority who can't behave. Much better use of everyone's time

^ ^

This

Luckily my DD goes to a school like the one you teach in GrammarTeacher which considering the problems she encountered with her periods is very fortunate. I am absolutely horrified hearing the kinds of schools some DC go to. I went to a really terrible school in the 80's, I thought things had changed. Sad

woollyheart · 19/01/2019 15:32

Some of these schools sound like they regard the pupils more as prison inmates than as students.

If you start punishing everyone for the behaviour of a few, then in reality you are punishing the innocent, because the guilty have scarpered or just don't care.

Weetabixandshreddies · 19/01/2019 16:18

I think with behaviour issues you have the serious one off eg sinks being smashed up. If you can identify who did it then you can deal with that. Still leaves the school with a large repair bill to pay, plus possibly having to close the school until repairs can be carried out. If this occurs then I can see it making SLT worried about it happening again and looking at ways to stop it.

Then there's more low level disruption - students wanting to get out of a lesson and go for a wander and using the toilet as an excuse, meeting up with mates etc. This is harder to deal with - it's not always easy to identify what is happening and dealing with it is harder.

I don't envy teachers at all - no matter what they do people complain. They're too strict or not strict enough depending on what side your child is on, they should make allowances for some children or they shouldn't again depending on who your child is.

Some schools are changing the design of the toilets so that they don't give students a place to hide but then others are fighting against them because they think privacy is removed - as I said, schools can't win.

Original poster
CosmicCanary · 19/01/2019 16:56

Do you mean the unisex link you kept posting.

Unisex toilets are not safer especially for girls.
Floor to ceiling cubicles with their own sink yes perfectly fine nobody has to be concerned for privacy. Unisex no not fine.

We have heard from plenty of teachers who have a let them go policy and they do not have issues of vandalism or class disruption.
It is still punishing all for the acts of a few which is wrong.

OP posts:
Weetabixandshreddies · 19/01/2019 17:38

Yes I do.

And we have some teachers saying they let students go and no problems (which is great) and then others reporting lots of problems because it depends on the schools and the pupils in them surely?

Some schools are trying to find ways that overcome these problems but then that's not right either. I don't know what more they can do?

CalmDownPacino · 19/01/2019 17:42

I've only read up to page 2, and I will go back and read the rest, but those saying "go at breaks" - at my daughter's school they have prefects who monitor the toilets during break time and will only let a couple of girls in at a time and there are so many girls waiting to go that not all of them get chance to do and often run out of break time.

Debaser12 · 19/01/2019 18:19

From reading this thread it's clear that some schools need a lot more toilets.

It would also solve alot of problems if the classrooms has an on-suit bathroom. Then you couldn't skive off and teacher and student could just go when needed.

The rest of the class may have to smell you poos and hear your farts though!

jacomax · 20/01/2019 03:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
CosmicCanary · 20/01/2019 03:25

I feel sorry for the children you teach Jaco.
You clearly hate children and only teach as it gives you a power trip. Vile.

OP posts:
jacomax · 20/01/2019 04:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GrammarTeacher · 20/01/2019 06:00

It's a bit much to suggest the rest of us don't have high expectations. I certainly do. Needing the toilet at a random time isn't a behavioural issue, it's a biological one.

jacomax · 20/01/2019 06:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

jessstan2 · 20/01/2019 06:26

There must be some horrible schools and horrible kids and once again I have to say I am so glad not to be a school age child now. There were no problems like this one when I was at school, we did use the toilet at break times but were allowed to go during lessons if we put our hand up. The lavatories were not locked, toilet paper was not rationed and no-one took the piss (no pun intended). It didn't happen often but there wasn't a fuss if a pupil really needed to go.

Gosh I am so glad I don't have school age children now, this would worry me so much.

GrammarTeacher · 20/01/2019 06:43

It really isn't the ones with behavioural issues who ask. It's the ones who need the loo. Unless it's year 7 last lesson in the first month and then the issue is their anxiety about being able to catch their contract buses (many have long commutes). So we have a little chat about the time their buses actually arrive and I point out that if they work hard we will be able to finish promptly.
Asking to go to the toilet is not necessarily a behavioural issue (in fact it's more usually not). I don't know why you insist it is. I am glad I do not work in your school if those are the rules I would feel very uncomfortable enforcing them.

jacomax · 20/01/2019 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
CosmicCanary · 20/01/2019 07:49

You fail to understand anyone's pov

This is about children accessing the toilet when they need to ( like the 11yo in the OP) not peoples pov.

I dont think anyone on this thread believes all children are angels and that some will not misbehave. However it is not right that all children are punished because of the actions of the few.

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 20/01/2019 08:04

Periods in your early teens are a nightmare. You aren't used to them, they're heavy, they're unpredictable... I do feel for the girls just starting out with them.

Weetabixandshreddies · 20/01/2019 08:38

I am glad that some of you don't have experience of certain schools. As a PP said, some schools have knife arches at the entrances! Do you really think that in those schools only a few students are a bit naughty and that they can allow all of the students to wander around school unsupervised? I know of schools where a student has kicked off so badly that a class has had to be evacuated for the safety of the pupils. These are just a couple of instances.

I trust the management of schools to make decisions in the best interests of their pupils. In some schools free access to the toilets may well be safe and cause no problems - those schools might very well change their policy if behaviour changes.

Other schools take the decision to restrict access during lessons for the safety of all students and to protect property and to stop classroom disruption. It's a balancing act. All rules will have an effect on innocent people won't they? We all have our freedoms restricted to a certain extent because rules are needed to control the behaviour of the minority.

A compromise is to issue toilet passes to those who need them and to encourage students to go to the toilet at break times.

You can't honestly think that schools should allow this, all the while risking serious incidents happening? If something did I guarantee that some parents (possibly even some on here) would be baying for the blood of the head teacher because they didn't take steps to stop something from happening.

Maybe read up about what is happening in some schools and the behaviour that they are dealing with and then think about whether it really is sensible to do what you are asking.

SnuggyBuggy · 20/01/2019 08:52

I feel sorry for teens who have to go to such horrible schools. There probably need to be more pupil referral units for those who can't be managed by a typical school

Weetabixandshreddies · 20/01/2019 08:54

SnuggyBuggy
Well, yes, exactly. Meanwhile they have to be managed by schools as best they can.

GrammarTeacher · 20/01/2019 08:56

Weetabix - that needs dealing with then. And it's a tiny minority of schools that have knife arches!

Weetabixandshreddies · 20/01/2019 09:25

GrammarTeacher

It might well be a tiny minority with knife arches, but then there is a spectrum of behaviour below that until we get to schools with no behaviour issues.

Who knows where the school in the OP sits within the range of behaviour?

Swipe left for the next trending thread