Would you inform the police if your child committed a serious crime?

[partinor]

This is a hypothetical question. But just wondering what others would do if you knew or suspected your child had committed a serious crime such as rape or murder?
I would inform the police for rape or murder. Not so sure about theft though.

It makes me understand more all those parents who deny their child could possible be guilty of raping a woman or abusing a child. This scenario is so common. But if so many parents think their role is to protect their child no matter what, then yes they are going to deny the truth to themselves and others.

I would have to take them to the police but it would break my heart to do it.

Abseloutly.... especially for the two most serious crimes there are!!.. imagine someone done those to your child and someone out there knew who had done it and were protecting them?
If you didn't it would effect you, your family and other relationships you or they have.
Not saying it wouldn't be the toughest decision you'd ever have to make but you have to do the right thing.

@GTrules what are the two most serious crimes? According to who? Surely that's up to the CPS and the victim to decide. Not the offenders mother?

I’m sure that some of these replies are ‘competitive loving’ - posters who think they sound better mothers if they pretend their love for their children is so great they’d protect their own Ian Huntley or John Warboys.

Bollocks would you. The reality of the misery they’ve inflicted would hit you between the eyes. You’d probably also realise that if they were aware you knew of their terrible crime(s) you’d be at risk from them yourself.

I’m sure that some of these replies are ‘competitive loving’
Why does everything people say or do always have to “be” something else??

The way my mind works to this question is imaging my DD in a situation where she defended herself or fought off an attacker or abusive partner. I can’t help where my mind goes. My instinctive answer would genuinely be to help HER and figure out what way to proceed that would have the least negative impact on her life.

If it was a case of having images of child sexual abuse or harming children then I would report her.

Peoples minds work differently to these things.

I would tell the police...eventually...provided there is no death penalty or likelihood of it being introduced prior to sentencing.

But beforehand I would get as much detail as I could, hire excellent lawyers, and if my child was in shock or mentally unable to react sensibly to police questioning I would first obtain mental health care to get them back on an even keel.

The way my mind works to this question is imaging my DD in a situation where she defended herself or fought off an attacker or abusive partner.

Killing in the course of (genuinely) defending yourself is not a crime. Killing an abusive partner would not be a crime if he attacked her and she (genuinely) defended herself; if it was a ‘slow burn’ reaction to awful long term abuse there would be very strong mitigating circumstances.

You’d have no guilt reporting these, in that case.

This thread is truly shocking!

Those of you who would cover up for your child, would you say the same if your child killed or raped your other child, or your grandchild, or your elderly mother or father?

I truly find this disgusting.

it was a ‘slow burn’ reaction to awful long term abuse there would be very strong mitigating circumstances.

There are many women serving long sentences for Just this scenario. The justice system isn’t always ‘just’.

This thread is truly shocking!
I truly find this disgusting.

Peoples minds don’t automatically jump to rape and murder tbh.
It’s a broad question.

In some cases I would cover up, in others I wouldn’t. It’s a broad question.
Also, it’s hypothetical so chill out!

There are many women serving long sentences for Just this scenario. The justice system isn’t always ‘just’.

Exactly!

Salryc

I agree in general that the law in that area needs to be improved towards the DV and abuse victim, but it does depend on the facts in each case.

The OP asked specifically about rape and murder though.

And yes - what if one of your close friends or relatives (even your other child) was your child's victim? Would you report that?

Rape, murder, yes, of course. A few others things, yes. Most crimes, no. I wouldn't go to the stage of lying or providing a false alibi or actively trying to help them evade justice but for most crimes I wouldn't turn them in either.

Many yrs ago my DP was assaulted after a night out, 6 weeks in a coma, not expected to live. The 3 men responsible served time for attempted murder, it was that serious. He was only trying to break up an argument.

I would love to thank the mother that shopped her son for this but any contact would be traumatising for DP. I still think about though.

He’s fine now (still mental and infuriating) but not sure how he would have recovered if they had not been caught.

Depends on the child. One of mine has ASD (well 2 do) that greatly impacts on his ability to understand things and I would question his culpability, therefore I’d be likely to protect him.

The others, I probably would, yes.

Rape, murder, anything to do with hurting a child yes definitely. I sincerely hope I'm never put in that situation though.

It makes me understand more all those parents who deny their child could possible be guilty of raping a woman or abusing a child. This scenario is so common. But if so many parents think their role is to protect their child no matter what, then yes they are going to deny the truth to themselves and others.

But hasn't almost everyone on this thread said they would report their child if it was rape or sexual assault?

Murder has been the grey area because it's possible that someone could kill somebody else without necessarily being a bad/dangerous person.

There was a case about 15 years ago where some lads had set fire to some seat cushions on a train late at night. One of the platform staff tried to put out the fire but was overcome by fumes and died. There was CCTV. One of the mothers shopped her son. Good on her.

I can't really answer for myself because I don't have children. I imagine my instinct would be to protect them at all costs but I hope the need to do the right thing would override that.

@shpoot

I know all of that. Was just giving an example of when, despite denials, you can be convicted of covering it up. Not reporting a crime is actively covering it up. It is an offence in itself.

That’s not true. Failing to report a crime is not the same as covering it up, and it certainly isn’t illegal. Perverting the course of justice IS illegal- so actively covering up by providing false alibis or otherwise attempting to prevent police investigating etc. Is illegal, but simply not reporting a crime is not against the law.

I can't condone anyone taking another person's life, but if for instance my dc killed someone who had raped them God forbid, I know I'd help them. There are circumstances around everything, I don't think you can say until you are faced with it and know the ins and outs.

I would.

I'll always be there for DD and support her, but I've always told her that her actions have consequences and she must accept them whether that would be paying a fine for parking badly or facing something serious.

Mary Beard example is a bit rubbish. Who would not put their hand up in front of their friends? No one wants to be the one to say publicly they would opt for a safer life and collaborate with the Nazis. So you will get a slightly more accurate result if you ask anonymously.

I think the Mary Beard example is great, for this very reason!

Peer pressure has an influence on people saying 'yes, I would have joined the resistance' these days.
Similarly, peer pressure (or social pressure) would have influenced people sitting by and tolerating/collaborating with the Nazis.