Page 4 | Would you inform the police if your child committed a serious crime?

partinor · 2019-01-14T22:30:00+00:00

This is a hypothetical question. But just wondering what others would do if you knew or suspected your child had committed a serious crime such as rape or murder? I would inform the police for rape or murder. Not so sure about theft though.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 14/01/2019 23:33

Is their a limit to the number of people you would see murdered by your child before turning them in?

^ This.

My brother committed a serious crime (not rape or murder). He was reported to the police by his own (adult) child, who rang me first to tell me. I didn't for one second doubt that it was the right action. I do love my brother, although I hate what he did and think he deserved his prison sentence.

Some of the responses here appal me.

Yabbers · 14/01/2019 23:34

She knew it was wrong and she therefore had to deal with the consequence.
She’s 5. You taught her you need someone else to discipline her. You taught her you’re not there for her when she messes up. A 5 year old taking a sweetie is not “stealing” with the same intent as an adult. It is a child making a mistake. There’s a reason the age of criminal responsibility isn’t 5 years old.

DustyMaiden · 14/01/2019 23:41

Many years ago my DD committed a crime of theft. I found stolen goods in my home, I reported her to the police. I never thought twice about it. Standing in my house with someone else’s property, I could return it or be dishonest. I’ve prided my self with being honest all of my life, I wasn’t going let her steal that.

Original poster

partinor · 14/01/2019 23:42

Oh come on yabbers She did not ask for her 5 year old to be prosecuted and/or sent to prison. Just to give her a fright.

OP posts:

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 23:42

I have 'shopped' a relative for drink driving too. They got caught, in court, driving ban. There is no way I could have lived with myself if they killed themselves or someone else. I dearly love this person, and truly did it out of love and worry of their and others safety. There was one member of my family who disagreed with me and I was very shocked as I was sure they would have been a right from wrong type person.

NameChanger22 · 14/01/2019 23:42

Yes for crimes where someone got hurt or killed. No to all other crimes.

SweetbutAPsycho · 14/01/2019 23:47

For rape yes, thats inexcusable but for murder it depends on the circumstances. Either way I would organise a good lawyer for them and get as much support as possible for them as they are still my baby.

ScienceIsTruth · 14/01/2019 23:47

There is no way I could live with myself if I didn't do the right thing and hand my child in to the police.
I have absolutely no doubt that I would follow through on this, as nothing else would be an option for me.

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 23:47

Wasn't there a thread recently where some mother had found out her teenage son.was carrying a knife and was in a gang? He was out with said knife when she was posting. I think every poster told her to ring the police. Not sure what the outcome of that was.

llangennith · 14/01/2019 23:48

No.

Hairyfairy01 · 14/01/2019 23:49

yabbers I taught her that there are consequences beyond my control for some actions, that we live in a society where we have laws and that these laws need to be kept to. To her stealing that sweet was the same as me going in a shop and stealing a bottle of wine, both behaviours are unacceptable and if you commit a crime you need to accept the repercussions. I held her hand thoughout her ‘confession’ to the security guard, gave her a hug and said well done for saying you’re sorry. I was there for her at 5 after pinching a sweet, obviously. But we digress, that isn’t reall6 what this thread is about. I do hope it sets the tone for my children in the furture though, as I would report them for a serious crime.

RosemarysBabyDress · 14/01/2019 23:50

The teenager with a knife is a different question, hopefully no crime has been committed yet, but said teenager is very likely to become a victim if someone doesn't act quickly.

I know that UK prisons are not exactly Midnight Express, but I couldn't live with myself knowing that my child - that I am responsible for and who I raised - is locked up, possibly beaten up or worst because of me.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 14/01/2019 23:51

When I was about 13, I took my 3 year old sister out for the day with my friends. We went into Woolworths because my friend had a pick and mix order to rob and she picked up a little ink stamp when I wasn't looking and put it in her pocket. She showed it to my mum when I took her home and my mum made me take it back and explain that I had been careless and allowed my toddler sister to nick it.

I have always said that I would not cover up for DS if he committed a crime, and he knows for certain that DH wouldn't, because his older brother emptied DH's bank account as a wayward 18 year old, and DH reported it. I probably wouldn't got to the lengths my mum did over a bit of shoplifting, but anything like serious theft, rape, violence or murder, I would not cover that up. It's an interesting thread.

Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 · 14/01/2019 23:51

Last year several young people that my children grew up with murdered a homeless man, one of the boys family tried to hide them from the police but thankfully they were found.
I'm telling you this because these boys started committing offences from and early age and the irresponsible parents never made them take responsibility for what they did and openly showed contempt for the police, so years down the line the scum have graduated to murder, totally unprovoked and still the families defend them and tried to hamper the investigation.
My point is that maybe just maybe if they had been made to take responsibility for the offences they committed whilst they were relatively not serious, perhaps the parents could've had the local pcso have a word and perhaps that poor man wouldn't have been murdered by these feral scumbags.
As parents we need to do what is best for our children even if that means causing them pain in the short term to help them grow up to be be productive members of society. All this 'I wouldn't grass my child' is pathetic and doesn't help them or society in the long run!!

RosemarysBabyDress · 14/01/2019 23:56

and the irresponsible parents never made them take responsibility for what they did
you can make a child take responsibility without involving any authority. Just because some things stay behind closed doors doesn't mean the children have free reign to do anything and are not taught any value.

If the choice is between buying a no return plane ticket for my kid to start over and calling the police, I know which option I hope I'll chose.

CosmicCanary · 14/01/2019 23:57

Yes I would.

I called the police on my 16 DS yesterday as he was yet again being abusive and destroying the house.

As a good parent you teach your children to abide by the law. Question it yes. Protest against it yes. Fight for its change yes.
BUT you teach them to abide by it or suffer the consequences.

Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1 · 15/01/2019 00:01

Our son was 16 when he stole our car with his friends nd we called the police, actions have consequences!

NottonightJosepheen · 15/01/2019 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SushiMonster · 15/01/2019 00:03

Fuck me the amount of people that would cover up rape or murder. Wow.

RosemarysBabyDress · 15/01/2019 00:06

I am surprised people are surprised.

Don't you think most cases would be judged a lot quicker if every witness did talk? Why do you think it's so hard for the police to investigate anything? Because people don't talk, and not just the accused.

ParkheadParadise · 15/01/2019 00:10

My dd was murdered 3yrs ago

His family lied for him.
I'm not shocked people on this thread wouldn't report their child.
Hope you are never in the situation when your own child is the victim.

GreenTulips · 15/01/2019 00:11

child - that I am responsible for and who I raised - is locked up, possibly beaten up or worst because of me

Warped thinking - They committed the crime, they would be solely responsible for their actions.

How could you live worrying about a knock at the door or revenge from another person?? Wouldn’t that be worse?

Menolly · 15/01/2019 00:14

Rape yes I would, there is nothing that can excuse that. Murder almost certainly, but if I am totally honest it might depend on the circumstances.

CosmicCanary · 15/01/2019 00:15

Park I am so sorry

I believe most people if faced with this in real life would go to the police. Its easy to say they wouldn't on here as its not real and they do not hold the guilt that would come with lying for a murderer/rapist.

FinnegansWhiskers · 15/01/2019 00:18

I know that UK prisons are not exactly Midnight Express, but I couldn't live with myself knowing that my child - that I am responsible for and who I raised - is locked up, possibly beaten up or worst because of me

If your "child" had brutally raped a young girl or bludgeoned someone to death the fault wouldn't be yours for being responsible enough to dob him in, in an attempt to make sure it doesn't happen again. The fault would lie with him.

Most children are brought up being taught that there are consequences for their behaviour. This learning starts at a young age. Those that have never had consequences for their actions grow up not knowing right from wrong. How could they know what's right or wrong if they have never been taught? Especially when mummy dearest will defend him, whatever.

Are you seriously saying you would defend your "child" regardless of whatever serious crime (eg rape, murder, child abuse, assault and battery against an oap) he committed? How old is your child?