Would you inform the police if your child committed a serious crime?

[partinor]

This is a hypothetical question. But just wondering what others would do if you knew or suspected your child had committed a serious crime such as rape or murder?
I would inform the police for rape or murder. Not so sure about theft though.

I don't have kids but do have younger brother, 10 and 13 years difference between us, they are both in their early 20's. I'd never shop them! I now that sounds bad and if they'd ever murdered anyone i can image how that family would feel, but if the show was on the other foot and my brother was murdered i'd also kind of understand. I'd also help them get to a country with no extradition. I know I'll get flamed for that but that's just how it is

Justice can make a big difference to the remaining lives of the victims.

Families of murder victims usually suffer even more greatly when the murderer is never brought to justice and sent to jail.
They never get closure.

Of course surviving victims can't be "unraped", "untortured", "unbeaten" etc, but many suffer even more knowing that their attacker escaped scott free.

Let's just not bother investigating and prosecuting anyone for committing a crime. After all, a raped child is still a raped child

You also don't bring a dead body back to life by going to the police.

No, but you might save the next one.

Let's just not bother investigating and prosecuting anyone for committing a crime.
yes, that's exactly what people have said, you nailed it

jeez, there's always one.
You can't answer a question without someone distorting everything because they don't agree. People make different choices and have different values, throwing a tantrum about it is not really helping the debate is it.

Although murder is usually - not always - a once in a lifetime crime, those perpetrators with a history of violence often continue to commit serious violent offences, just not to that level.

Rape, DV, assault, burglary, theft, drug-dealing etc are usually repeated dozens or hundreds of times duting a criminal's lifetime
So keeping quiet about the one time you actually found out is letting them continue to hurt people.

I'd make them turn themselves in and get them the very best criminal defence lawyer possible.

I've found that a large part of parenting involves making sure your children understand consequences - those above who say they would cover for their child obviously disagree!

This is why the police & the courts are rightly dubious about alibis given by parents (or other close family):

they know some would lie to protect their loved ones,
either because the parents were fooled, or because like a few parents here would always protects their child regardless of guilt, how horrible the crime, how defenceless the victim.

Let's just not bother investigating and prosecuting anyone for committing a crime.
yes, that's exactly what people have said, you nailed it hmm

jeez, there's always one.
You can't answer a question without someone distorting everything because they don't agree. People make different choices and have different values, throwing a tantrum about it is not really helping the debate is it.

It's the logical conclusion from your statement. No tantrum here, you seem to be getting a bit irate though...

The thing is, it's hard for people to give unbiased answers because [presumably almost] everyone is coming from an angle of their child having committed a crime in some extenuating circumstance, like as a response to domestic violence or something.

If someone asks me "would you tell the police if your son murdered someone?", I automatically assume there would be something forgivable behind it, because I know him and I know he's never hurt a fly in his life and is a wonderful young man.

Maybe if they asked "would you tell the police if your son was a violent piece of shit who repeatedly assaulted people and finally murdered someone" I would respond differently. But that's not the situation that I (and I'm guessing most people on this thread) immediately think of when faced with the hypothetical question posed in the OP.

Grimbles
you know you can disagree with someone without having to start an argument, don't you?

The idea that morality and justice can be negotiated through a misplaced faith that there is no point crying over spilt milk borders on the unhinged.

you know you can disagree with someone without having to start an argument, don't you?

I do, yes. But you are the one getting hostile.

Maybe just ignore my responses if they annoy you so much?

Absolutely I would. Same for burglary, mugging.

Sorry but my children are brought up to be held accountable for their actions, and face the consequences of them too.

If my son, raped someone, caused someone else misery for his own gain then yes. I would.

What happens if they do it again, but I said nothing as he’s my son?

I bet many MN mums wouldn't. Many seem more devoted to their child, over law abiding, common sense, or doing the right thing.

I would also never ever lie for my son either.

I remember the Rhys Jones case when all the parents of the gang responsible for the boys death, created alibis, or his evidence to protect their sons. I wouldn’t, and I can’t believe people would.

My sons are my absolute loves of my life, but I would never protect them from a crime they committed.

We watched manhunt on itv (excellent drama) and bellfield was caught because his partner flagged his behaviour to the police. Know it’s different for a child but a concrete example of how a family member doing the right thing undoubtedly saved lives.

Rosemary, nobody is saying you can bring people back from death but what about justice for the victims family? Doesn’t that matter to you?

I think it would be fucking weird for a mother to protect her rapist son. Anyone who protects a rapist is scum in my eyes.

If I had a child who had commited murder or rape I would absolutely turn them in. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't, and I would actually expect them to naturally turn themselves in, if their first reaction was to ask for me to cover up for them and give them an alibi I would seriously question the core of my parenting and what I had taught them about right and wrong and taking responsibility for their actions.

I have grown up in an abusive household if I had killed the person most abusive to me, I would still hand myself over, at the end of the day I would have killed someone, the abuse is relevant and should be taken into account during the time of my sentencing but I would still expect to do time for having taken a life. I would expect my kids/parents to contact authorities if I confessed I had murdered someone.

I know for sure my mum wouldn't though, and the fact that she would let me and my siblings get away with murder massively bother me. (I think because her attitude has increased one of my siblings poor behaviour and inexistant respect for the law and people around him and increased his chance of actually committing that type of offenses).

By not turning your child into the police knowing they have committed a serious crime is basically telling them you condone their actions.

Just read the wiki entry about Rhys Jones case. Utterly heart breaking. Could anyone read that and nod along that they too would have acted as the murderers mother did to protect her son? I wouldn’t want to know a person that could do that.

I'd report any serious crime that they commited - unless the crime had been
a) committed in self defense eg murder of a violent parner
b) commited to eliminate someone who had raped or murdered another of our close family members

rosemary has this thread perhaps touched a nerve? Your steadfast support of your child, regardless of what they have done (because you can't bring a murder victim back to life, so why turn the murderer in ) seems to me that either your child has committed a crime in the past for which you have covered for them, or you completely lack compassion for anyone outwith your own family bubble.

Turning it round, say your child was the victim of a crime. The mother of the perpetrator knew about it, but her attitude was "You can't take back what has been done, so I don't want my child to face the consequences of their crime because them they become a victim". Wouldn't you be angry and hurt? If your child was murdered, what then? Would you just shrug it off as a parental failure on their behalf, or would you want then to face justice?

Absolutely for all serious crime including fraud and burglary. I would feel responsible seeing as my child is a product of DH and I. I would be inconsolable if one of my DC brought pain to someone else. Parenting is a big factor IMO.

It wouldn't help them to have to carry it for the rest of their life either. They would need to face up to their actions.

In the case of petty theft (from a shop like a supermarket) or smoking pot, No I wouldn't, I'd unleash hell fire on them but I'd let them come unstuck themselves.