Do your teenager's bedrooms look like this?

[thingersandfumbs]

Just that really. My teenage DD lives in an utter shit pit.

So, aibu to care? For context, DP encountered our dog with a used sanitary towel in his mouth a few weeks ago, from DD's shit tip.

I'm no clean and tidy queen, I promise you that, but to me this is unacceptable. Aibu?

No - absolutely not. Untidy is one thing but rubbish, dirty plates and clothes all over the floor would not fly in my house. You'll get mice!

18 !!!!!

Messy is OK, dirty is not!

Christ almighty! That is bad.
I make Ds1 and Ds2 regularly clean their rooms, bring down any water bottles, put their washing in the washing basket. Then I hoover. Or I make Ds2 do it.
Their rooms are very tidy.

Was she not absolutely mortified when you told her that your DP (who isn't her dad) had to take one of her used pads from the dogs mouth?

Filthy girl.

That is pretty bad, DD's was also quite messy. She never folded her bloody washing and just left it in the wash basket on her floor.

Of course when she lives in her own flat (now at 20), her room is immaculate. There is hope OP, but only when she leaves home

My daughter could have clothes / make up / CDs etc all over the bloody floor, live in month old sheets for all I care, but no food scraps / wrapping otherwise she would be banned from eating in her room.

My bedroom was like this as well . Obviously not acceptable, and I see that now but then I didn't really give a shit. Also don't get the comment about how small the room is? It's a fairly standard size where I come from, unless your a multi millionaire obviously...

Well she can't possibly think it's normal to leave used sanpro on the floor, so don't even let her start to argue with you over that issue. That is issue no. 1. Make sure she has a bin with a liner in it in her room and remind her to empty it twice a week.

Issue no. 2 is the appalling amount of disgusting fizzy drinks she consumes. Does she buy those with her own money?

Anything else - hold firm. Don't clean her room and don't go in there to find her laundry and don't go in there to deliver her clean laundry or put it away, and don't change her bed. Open the window if you can't stand the smell.

You should be embarrassed for feeling the need to post the picture to show how bad it is, I'm guessing you chose the best (cleanest bit) to show us all. There is a basic level of hygiene and cleanliness for children with adults who need to look after them and those that are adults themselves...

Filthy girl

There really is no need for misogynistic, shaming comments like this about a teenage girl on a parenting website.

I feel your pain OP, my teenage DD is the same if not worse. I can't bear to go in there any more and won't let my young son go in there. She's studying for exams at the moment but as soon as they're done I'll be reading the riot act.

My sister's bedroom looked like this. My dad actually stood (barefoot) on one of her used pads. He said it was still warm 🤢 🤮 🤢

That definitely needs to be sorted out OP

Does she still have all her own teeth ????

I was expecting 14.
At 18 that is appalling and super gross.
Would you poo in you bedroom and keep it? No
So why is she keeping used sanitary towels in her room

As other said the Wi-Fi would be off until the adult tidies her room.

The sugary caffeinated drinks on the bedside table would worry me, caffeine does bad things for sleep and teenagers really need their sleep.

And do we know dog definately didn't retrieve sanpro from a bin...

My rules are I leave dd alone as long as her room is not dirty and smelly. Mess and floordrobe ok. I also ask her to tidy up if friends are visiting.

Yep my teenagers bedrooms are similar. I make them tidy it once a week and all dirty clothes get washed

Used sanitary is just horrible!!! 🤮🤢
Was she not at all embarrassed? If not then I would say there might be some deeper routed issues tbh it’s absolutely not normal to leave used san pro about.

As for the mess, I was a tidy teen so I wouldn’t say it was normal by my standards but my friends room used to look like that regularly although she was made to clean and tidy it fairly often so it wasn’t a shit tip for more than a couple of days until she sorted it then it got progressively worse, then she would be told to sort it again and the cycle went on.

No, that's not normal.

I wouldn't allow any room in my house to get into that state. When I feel my teenagers rooms are getting out of hand I hand them a bin bag, laundry bag, cleaning cloth & hoover and tell them I'll be back to inspect (I usually give them about 24 hours to motivate themselves) it works and their rooms are tidy about 75% of the time.

My DDs room would be very similar (minus the sanitary pads, at least she uses the bathroom bin for those). It drives me bonkers. Before Xmas I tore the room apart, scrubbed it, dumped a ton of rubbish and it's back to the same mess now. But she's a stickler for changing her bed sheets every week. 🙄😡

A mix between 'how clean is your house?' and 'Secret Hoarders'. I'd be embarrassed if I was her. Sorry.......

Yup. I have 2 teens and 2 rooms identical to your dds. I’m past caring.

Last Sunday of the month they ‘spring clean’ their rooms to get the WiFi password but by the end of the next month it’s back to (their) normal.
One line I do draw is food/plates etc must be brought down every night though.

YADNBU that goes beyond messy into absolute squalor.

My ds left his room very messy even after several warnings - so I cleaned for him while he was out - everything was put into bin bags and hidden. I told him it had all been thrown away. Eventually I relented and let him sort through the bags only if he put everything away properly.

This worked well for all the dc if I threatened to “tidy” for them.

Oh and give over about the shaming on the internet!

@Mrskeats that's the other end of the scale completely, my rooms not that tidy

OP that's not normal, she's an adult she should be able to understand just how unhygienic that is. Imagine if she moved out what her kitchen / toilet would be like!

Can you spend a day together having a good clear out and maybe head to Wilkinson's / ikea and buy some storage boxes/baskets and treats for her room as an incentive to keep it nice?