Do your teenager's bedrooms look like this?

[thingersandfumbs]

Just that really. My teenage DD lives in an utter shit pit.

So, aibu to care? For context, DP encountered our dog with a used sanitary towel in his mouth a few weeks ago, from DD's shit tip.

I'm no clean and tidy queen, I promise you that, but to me this is unacceptable. Aibu?

I don't understand anyone saying this is normal- surely not?! My bedroom was never like this. My friends bedrooms were never like this.

That's what dd1's bedroom looked like for her entire teenage years. The only reason it doesn't look like that right now is because I made her tidy it before she went back to uni.

She would have been horrified if I'd ever posted photos of it anywhere though!

@Kikipost yes, it's just one of mine. I am absolutely not tidy. But even untidy people draw the line somewhere, and I have always been absolutely insistent on food and drink staying in the kitchen. The problem with turning the wifi off is that it also punishes the DC who do (more or less) stick to the rules and keep their rooms in a reasonable state. As an untidy person, I am aware that this is a low bar compared to tidy people.

I don't want to hijack this thread, but if any general advice (relating only to the one of my DC who thinks it's okay to live in a sea of cereal bowls and used sanpro) could be incorporated, I'd be glad to read it.

Nope I would literally kill her. She k ows if I find something on the floor it goes in the bin.

@Beaverhausen No, you really would not literally kill your DD. Short of literally killing a DC, I wonder how others have dealt this this?

Robininbrum please feel free to report it. I can't assure you at all so feel free.

I can isolate her devices on the WiFi. It's quite simple.

Reassure you

Anyone who believes that bedroom is 'normal' for a teenager needs to have higher expectations of their teens. You should show your dd this:
www.goodnet.org/articles/these-20-kids-rooms-across-world-will-teach-you-humility

That is not normal unless the parents home is maintained to a poor level of cleanliness.

If the parents maintain the home to a good standard then they would not allow their child's bedroom to get into this state.

Mine was worse than that. At 34 dp would still have a room like that if I let him 😂 I have to make a Conscious effort to make sure it doesn't go like that.

My bedroom as a teen was a bit of a mess I'm not gonna lie, but not HALF as bad as this. As I said though, my BFF's daughter's bedroom was like this. Used STs, old bits of pizza, empty coke cans, chocolate wrappers, empty Maccie D's boxes, old petrified chips, crisps that has been under the bed for 3-4 months. Gross.

It is a phase though, and it will pass. You can either a) ignore it, or b) throw a can of petrol on it and chuck a lit match down...

I was joking about b)

I would literally kill her

And you would then literally be sentenced to life in prison, I imagine. Or are we now lost in the outer realms of hyperbole

No mine never looked anything like this! I was super terrified of spiders. My mum instilled it into me at a young age that spiders would come in if there was food or clothes on the floor. It’s something even now that worries me 🤣 everything has to be picked up. Tbh we weren’t allowed food upstairs anyway really. Maybe the odd biscuit but never a full meal.

Neither of my teens bedrooms were ever like this. None of my friends or mine were - or my siblings. Dds friends rooms are not like this either.

They get untidy - clothes to be put away and make up left out. Books in a tower etc. but not used towels or mouldy food. That’s not messy. That’s disgusting. And very disrespectful of your home.

Mine was never ever this bad. That’s vile.

I had a friend that had a bedroom like that, her own house is a shit hole now. Gross.

I’ve seen teen’s rooms like this (and also remember reading a thread years ago on here about teen girls not disposing of san-pro properly).

My teenage sons’ rooms can get DISGUSTING and I battled with them for ages before realising that they genuinely don’t see it as we do (some will, but I think most don’t). What really helped was me spending time cleaning and tidying their rooms WITH them, so they actually learnt HOW to clean and tidy and what was acceptable. I didn’t do it for them but did offer help and guidance.

To me that was by far the better way - admittedly I didn’t really want to spend time tidying their shitty mess but it has really improved things. They also now wash and dry their own clothes and change their own beds. My own mother would be horrified by this - she thinks it’s stuff I should always do for them but I prefer that they can look after themselves without relying on mum.

I think you’ve had a lot of harsh criticism on here. I also think a lot of ‘tidy’ teenagers are having a lot done FOR them - my own mum always tidied and cleaned for us and it meant I had no privacy at all, my room never felt like my own and was never relaxed.

However, no one instinctively knows how to clean and tidy - we’ve learnt together and I have to nag them to make regular time to keep on top of their teen mess but it’s been worth it.

Mine looked like that until I was about 20. I'm a neat freak now. I don't know what changed or why, it but it definitely wasn't my parents moaning! They just closed the door when their friends came round. I suggest you do the same. (If she can live with it why does it matter? It's her space?)

Neither of my teen girls let their room get as bad as that. And for the snobby poster, one of them has a small bedroom. We live in a small house - should we not reproduce?

Youngest went through a really messy stage when I girded my loins and resolved to ignore it. It worked and she keeps her room tidy now, though I do have nag her to empty her bin and sometimes crack and just go in and do it.

I don't know what to suggest as ignoring it clearly isn't working.

2 of my DD have relatively small rooms. They do not look like that and never would. They are 17 and almost 14 and I have never let them create such a mess, I would completely freak out!

I was really surprised to see people writing that this is not normal for a teen 0-0

my son is terrible with his room and i recall i was too, yes this is a little more then what i have seen from my son but still i think it is normal for teens to be messy generally. they are way too consumed with living/friends and online media/apps these days to have time to clean (id assume thats there thoughts on it, im not saying that as my point of view) .. who we are or how we behave as a teen is by no means a reflection of who we will be or how we will behave when we are older, .. well mostly thats the case anyway .. we are all good examples of this.

teens are hard work but then think how hard it is being a teen, bodies changing and hormones raging and now the added pressure of media platforms like snapchat, .. these apps are making the new generations feel as though they need to be covered in brands (nike/addidas etc) and always doing something "cool" or risky for their snapchat to gain some sort of popularity or even just to be noticed at all .. wow getting a bit side tracked .. my bad :)

in summary .. yep it does need to be cleaned but yea id say its fairly normal. .. i mean what adult actually enjoys cleaning let alone a teen .. we just have no excuses anymore because we are suppoedly adult

**supposedly

It’s gross, needs sorting

Bloody hell! Just realised my teen dd is Mary Poppins!
Anyone watch Brooklyn 99?
Brilliant line in that when the captain shows Peralta 2 photos and says “one is your locker, the other is a garbage dump in The Philippines, which is which”
Peralta’s like 🤔
“They’re BOTH your locker”
Seriously tho op, that looks like a health risk!

Thought you were going to say she was 13! At 18 she should have grown out of that by now. My DD's room looked like that up until about 15. It's miles better now but not brilliant.

I think YABU for taking images of her private space and putting them on MN.

^ This. How would you feel if she did that with your bedroom?