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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

There's a dog in my house

466 replies

Freezby · 14/01/2019 16:58

There's a Labrador in my house and I don't know where it's come from. DH appears to of left the back door unlocked by mistake, but it was shut? He's at work and knows nothing about it, I've just got home from work and I have acquired a dog. Collar but no ID tag. What is going on?! How did it get in?! Can labradors open and close doors? My little King Charles cavalier spaniel seems to think he's his new best friend so has obviously enjoyed this unplanned play date (thank god a friendly dog decided to break into my house and not an aggressive one) no idea how long this lab has been here but house has been empty besides our dog since 11am. Someone please tell me how this is possible. I'm baffled. Waiting for DH to get back with the car so I can get him to a vets before they all shut and see if he's chipped.

OP posts:
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KarenDarling · 15/01/2019 00:26

@anitagreen yes!

Missingthesea · 15/01/2019 00:34

@anitagreen Definitely Smile

Silkyanduna · 15/01/2019 00:40

We have a golden retriever who can open doors and a King Charles spaniel who jumps so high he tries his best to. The King Charles is always getting the retriever into trouble. He eggs him on and the basically goes it wasn’t me it was my brother who did x y z and nothing to do with me 🐶🐕

NonExistentFox · 15/01/2019 00:42

I keep trying to go into a different room and shut lab in another room to see if it can open and close doors..

LOL Grin

EnidButton · 15/01/2019 00:56

I don't think it'd be appropriate to put this in Classics. It's essentially about someone's very ill mother and saving it for people to re-read for entertainment purposes seems disrespectful. Let the woman have her dignity and privacy.

Unsure why some posters think it's the 'best thread ever' with smiling faces either. It did have a positive result in that the dog is loved and has a home to go to but the reason he was out and about and couldn't be returned right away is very sad.
----

You handled it all really well OP and your DH too. Flowers Lucky dog to end up at your house.

StressedToTheMaxx · 15/01/2019 00:59

I have been following this thread. And I have a lump in my throat reading the last few updates.
Chester found a lovely family to make friends with when he chose you, you dh and your dog.
You have been so kind at making sure this lady gets the help she needs and her lovely puppy back.
Best wishes for when it little one gets here he or she will have wonderful parents Flowers

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 15/01/2019 01:03

Have you checked you haven't got a very confused blind person in one of your other rooms?
That proper made me snort out loud! Grin

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 15/01/2019 01:12

What a lovely thread. It's so nice to hear stories like this. Well done for caring for both the lab and the old lady.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 15/01/2019 02:20

Lovely but very very sad.

It must be heart breaking for the ladies daughter. But maybe Chessie knew that his human needed a bit more help, and needed to let other humans like her daughter know.

I hope the daughter does stay in touch OP, You and your husband are very kind. And it might help to know Chester has a nice safe place should this lady need to go in to hospital or whatever.

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 15/01/2019 02:44

One of the most uplifting yet sad threads I’ve read on here. OP you did an amazing thing. Hopefully Chester can come visit on an invited basis in the future for play dates! My previous dog could open and close doors, even after we tried preventing it by reversing the door handles to pull upwards!

kateandme · 15/01/2019 03:32

oh what a lovely couple you are.your gonna be some swell parents.
maybe you and dh could keep any eye on her. it must be such a hard thing and now having her daughter contacts you could flag it up if you see anything more.
im so sad for her but also so glad shes got this lovely glimmer of the dog to give her comfort.the beauty of dogs.

Sexnotgender · 15/01/2019 07:29

Lovely outcome! You and your DH are good people.

Juanmorebeer · 15/01/2019 07:49

Well done OP. Chester sounds great. I have a feeling you'll see him again.

Soubriquet · 15/01/2019 07:51

I wonder now, if every time Chester feels like it, he will pop round for a play date with your dog. Now he knows exactly where the food and fun is

HoraceCope · 15/01/2019 07:57

So did Chester's owner deposit him in your house?

GnothiSeafton · 15/01/2019 09:22

I'm glad you've got more info about Chester - and that you have contact details for the old lady's daughter. What a worrying situation though.

pandechocolate · 15/01/2019 09:25

Aw I'm glad this had a nice ending

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/01/2019 09:28

What a lovely ending to the story. Well, hopefully it's not the end and you'll get to see more of Chester.

You and your DH sound like very kind people. Excellent outcome all round.

KurriKurri · 15/01/2019 12:49

So pleased you were able to speak to the lady's daughter and that she has your details. She will feel relieved to know that there is someone looking out for her Mum and for Chester.
When my Dad had alheimer's he used to get very anxious about dogs - we'd had many over the years and there were often several in the hosue at any one time - everytime he spotted a dog (even the same dog) he thought it was a new one.
And he got very worried about looking after them properly - kept asking 'do I have any animals to look after' - made lists with things like '2 dogs, 1 rabbit, two guinea pigs' written on it in an attempt to get a grip on the pet situation.

It's a very sad illness

Junkmail · 15/01/2019 13:36

What a sad situation. I know that some pp are saying it’s a happy ending but is it? That poor lady—she’ll only deteriorate. I nursed people suffering dementia for a number of years and it’s such a cruel condition. You did all the right things OP but I really hope that that poor lady has all the support she needs. The wandering at night is particularly concerning and dangerous. It’s obviously not the OP’s responsibility but I feel uneasy about this lady living alone if her dementia has progressed this far. That poor family—her daughter must be worried sick Sad

MotorcycleMayhem · 15/01/2019 14:32

I agree @Junkmail, this is not resolved. The daughter has a lot to deal with.

Many families in my experience grossly underestimate the needs of a loved one with dementia for the sake if letting them stay independent that bit too long. If they are not properly aware of the wandering at night or incidents like this with the dog, then sadly they don't get the full picture of the person's true deterioration.

When they are alone is when they are the most vulnerable after all. I've met many many elderly men and women living alone or with their equally elderly spouse, totally unable to cope, empty cupboards, literally starving themselves and living in the freezing cold and the dark. Partly dementia, partly age, partly historical "make do" and don't waste things mentality.

They will all too often refuse carers, refuse support and refuse all offers of help, which is their right... but if they literally no longer have the mental capacity to make decisions on their own best interests then the decisions can be made for them by others. At that point, Social Services, the NHS etc will step in with the wider family if they have to, to keep people alive.

I recall returning one very old and almost emaciated lady to her freezing home with no gas or electricity on her key meters and no emergency money left on them either. After an ambulance check over in the street, they had said she had no need to go to hospital. My colleague and I got £60 from petty cash, topped the key meters up, bought milk, bread, eggs, tins of soup, tea, sugar, cheese, butter, a few other bits of food for her cupboards and a bunch of flowers and took them to her house. Made her tea, scrambled egg on toast and put the flowers out for her. Put an emergency referral in to Social Services, Salvation Army and Age Concern (as it was) who visited her the next day. That was as much as we could muster. This happens all over the country to some degree or other.

Justaboy · 15/01/2019 14:48

and that MotorcycleMayhem is a fantrastic thing you did for that old lady too:-)

Bluetrews25 · 15/01/2019 16:04

Agreed - far from a happy ending - this is the very concerning middle.....

GnothiSeafton · 15/01/2019 16:23

I absolutely agree with you, Bluetrews25 (and PPs who've said the same).

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 15/01/2019 16:27

Absolutely MotorcycleMayhem. My Fil was in a similar state when he had depression. Couldn’t imagine leaving him the responsibility of looking after an animal. He wouldn’t have had a clue whether he’d fed it or let it out for a wee never mind taken it out for a walk. And if he had I’d worry in case he lost it.

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