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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Reception year poo!

96 replies

toiletdrama · 14/01/2019 14:34

Not sure if IABU or not. I'm cheesed off though. DD is in reception and didn't make it to the toilet in time and did a poo in her knickers. AIBU to think that school could have changed a random accident, rather than leavingDD sitting in it for over an hour whilst I traveled home from work? Cheesed off have to take half a days leave now too lost for commuting back to work! I always leave a spare uniform in her bag. It must have taken them longer to come and phone me than to change her. It was pretty "contained" (sorry if tmi!)

OP posts:
Neverunderfed · 14/01/2019 14:37

Oh bless her, yes I'd be disappointed at her having to sit there like that.

HuntIdeas · 14/01/2019 14:39

YADNU, if course they should have changed her / helped her change herself. It’s not at all unusual for reception children to still have the occasional accident, surely they should be set up for that (our school have spare clothes in case of emergency too)

instasham · 14/01/2019 14:39

Of course they should have changed her!!

I remember a girl in my P1 class many years ago had an accident and she was changed immediately and discretely...I only know it because we’re still good friends and we joke about it Grin

Would they leave a child sitting in their own vomit?

When it comes to the care of children or the vulnerable, the responsible adult or adults really need to suck it up and do what’s right for them.

I’d be really upset OP. Not least because you’d end up with a really sore bottom if you were sitting in your own shit for an hour Angry

Pikehau · 14/01/2019 14:41

Oh poor girl. Yanbu. I think sometimes they sit with their hand up and don't get seen / heard. My son said the same happenned to someone in his y1 class (wet incident)

Make sure you talk to school and get clear picture.

Original poster
toiletdrama · 14/01/2019 14:47

I said that when I was at work. They said they understand accidents happen, but children need to be toilet trained. Ffs. Livid.

OP posts:
cathcath2 · 14/01/2019 14:47

YANBU. I work in a school and I've changed a reception child (ran with him to get to the toilet in time "Miss it's coming out!"). If it was happening every day then it would be different. It happens: they have the odd accident. I only mind if I can't find any gloves (sorry but cleaning poo off toilet floors, rinsing poo covered clothing etc is a gloves job). It happens far more in nursery obviously but not unheard of in higher years either.

Thurmanmurman · 14/01/2019 14:48

That's awful, your poor DD. I'd definitely raise a complaint about this with the school, who on earth lets a child sit in their own shit? I Hope you and DD are OK.

Original poster
toiletdrama · 14/01/2019 14:49

Worried it might happen again though it probably won't. What can I really do if school are saying they won't deal?

OP posts:
Original poster
toiletdrama · 14/01/2019 14:51

Obviously it was pretty embarrassing for her too.

OP posts:
DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 14/01/2019 14:53

What would they change her into? Or do you mean you wanted someone to scrub her knickers out?

I’m not saying you’re wrong to be annoyed.

Stereomum · 14/01/2019 14:54

Oh bless her, I'd make a complaint.

Original poster
toiletdrama · 14/01/2019 15:01

I always leave spare everything in her bag from pants to socks! The poo is emptied into the toilet. What would I expect - Shitty knickers put in a plastic bag for me to scrub. A few wet wipes to clean her bum. New knickers on. Done. If it was a regular occurrence I would expect them to say they don't want to deal, but ffs, accidents happen! Songs and dances would be made if I wanted to take her out of school for anafternoon, but they asked if I was going to bring her back in or not!

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 14/01/2019 15:04

That's awful. Our school the parents sign form allowing staff to perform intimate care.

ThatsNotNiceRoger · 14/01/2019 15:05

Our school will change but they aren’t allowed to wipe bottoms. They frequently phone me to go and sort my DC out which isn’t always practical. I’m surprised they left her sitting in poo filled knickers.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 14/01/2019 15:06

That’s awful - if nothing else couldn’t they have got her to take her pants off and change into new pants once you’d told them they were there? I would be livid in your shoes. A whole hour - where was she sitting? Surely not back in class?

haverhill · 14/01/2019 15:08

That's awful. My DS had one accident in Reception and was properly dealt with. I can scarcely believe they left her sitting in her own poo - that stuff can burn the skin after a while.

fixWaterwheels · 14/01/2019 15:08

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Drogosnextwife · 14/01/2019 15:09

Aw your poor DD, how embarrassing for her. I would be complaining about that. A child shouldn't be left sitting i their own shit for an hour!

TheRealShatParp · 14/01/2019 15:09

Wow, that’s really poor. Whether they think it shouldn’t have happened or not they should bloody well do what they can to get her cleaned up. Your poor kid. Children dont want to sit in their own shit anymore than adults do, so why be treated with less dignity? I very much doubt the teacher fancies sitting in her own shit for an hour.

Duchessgummybuns · 14/01/2019 15:10

In reception at my DD’s school it was encouraged to send children in with a change of pants. In fact the school even asked for old pairs to be donated so they had spares. YANBU.

Drogosnextwife · 14/01/2019 15:11

Actually the more I think about that the angrier I'm getting! I'm picturing my ds who's 5 in your dds position and I know he would sit on the verge of tears in silence the whole time he was made to wait, feeling totally embarrassed. I would go through them like a dose of salts.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/01/2019 15:12

That is awful the poor child. When my DD was in reception she pee'd herself, her teacher kindly changed her, she forgot to mention it at pick up, I realised what had happened and was grateful.
It was a Friday and on the Monday Teacher ran to me panicking she has forgot to inform me.
I thanked her for her kindness, she admitted she had worried all weekend.

It may be different for a poo.
As far as I know lots of schools and preschool help DC.
Some put the poo and the underwear in a baggy.

Original poster
toiletdrama · 14/01/2019 15:16

What can I say tomorrow? Not sure why time off work is red herring?

OP posts:
Yura · 14/01/2019 15:17

In our school thry were just sendvto change themselves, i.e. given fresh pants etc from their bag, a plastic bag, and brought to the loo. why let her sit in it, at 4 she can chsnge herself?

Nanny0gg · 14/01/2019 15:21

I can't imagine an infant class not having spares. Of course she should have been helped.