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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to get pizza delivered to DD's school for her birthday lunch?

708 replies

PizzaMom · 12/01/2019 19:51

I apparently am known as 'that' parent and have been given the side eye the few times I've gone in since!

It was DD's 16th last month on a school day. I ordered a few pizzas to be sent to school at lunchtime so she could share them with her mates in the common room. Teachers were not going to let her have themHmm and when they relented (by the time they got cold) made her and a few friends eat them in a separate meeting room when she had planned to share them as there was enough for about 20 people!

I don't see it as being that different from me bringing in a forgotten lunch box?

I also ordered flowers and a balloon to be delivered and school refused to let her have them until after school had finished.

I was trying to make DD's day special. I really didn't think would have been that much of an issue which ruined it a bit for DD.

WIBU?

OP posts:
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5
Reallyevilmuffin · 17/01/2019 01:20

YANBU. The school got like this when giles our butler brought round the caviar, foi gras and champers for the DDs birthday. Youd have thought they would have been a little bit forgiving with him spending ages parking the limousine in the school car park!

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/01/2019 06:35

mathanxiety

They were persuadable on every single point:

So maybe if the OP had organised this properly and talked to the school this wouldn't have happened.

She spent her birthday lunchtime arguing with jobsworths

No she spent her lunchtime arguing with staff that had no idea that this was going to happen.
A waste of time for all and could have been prevented if the OP had organised it with the school.

In the end it all circles back to the OP not doing something properly.

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 07:01

Au contraire, it all comes back to the school not doing things properly.

Clearly there were no rules and the school staff just decided to stand on ceremony - and because none of them really knew what they were doing or why, a complete no-brainer (something handled by schools all over North America and even some schools in the UK too) was turned into an unpleasant incident in which nobody won.

If you are running a school you don't let your 'No' be turned into a 'Maybe' and then an 'Oh all right'. That is sheer incompetence and lack of professionalism on the part of the school.

If there had been rules, you can't assume the OP would have flouted them. The OP has experienced life in a culture where people are a little less tightly clenched and up themselves, and assumed (wrongly) that grown adults would be able to handle a situation that involved pizza, flowers and a balloon.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/01/2019 07:11

mathanxiety

Nope still the OPs fault for just having pizzas etc turn up and expect people to deal with it.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/01/2019 07:13

you complain about posters making things up but you don't know if it was an outright no at the beginning or "you can't have them in the communal lounge"

Claw001 · 17/01/2019 07:14

No limo to bring her home or birthday cake, I’m disappointed

macaroniandpizza · 17/01/2019 07:16

🙈🙈🙈🙈

InfiniteSheldon · 17/01/2019 07:25

Very odd cringe worthy in fact if your dd wasn't mortified then you're whole dynamic is odd

Bekabeech · 17/01/2019 07:39

Clearly there were no rules and the school staff just decided to stand on ceremony - and because none of them really knew what they were doing or why, a complete no-brainer (something handled by schools all over North America and even some schools in the UK too) was turned into an unpleasant incident in which nobody won.

To get into my DCs school you have to buzz to get through the gate (or know the code). I can't see the Receptionist even buzzing through some Pizzas unless they had been forewarned by a teacher/member of staff.
Even if they'd got through the gate they would have had to go to Reception which is about 1/2 mile from some parts of the school. If the Pizza guy decided to "wander off" to find the common room - he would have been in danger of sending the whole school into lockdown - actually most likely would have been accosted and escorted to Reception/off the premises.

There is food provided at school to purchase for all breaks and lunchtimes. You can bring in a packed lunch, and sixth formers can leave to buy food (they have the gate code).

Private boarding schools which allow delivered food only allow this as far as I am aware outside of the core school day.

zingally · 17/01/2019 07:48

It's rather OTT. Imagine if every single parent in the school did that? The office staff would spend all their days running around delivering things to kids!

If your daughter specifically wants pizza, take her and some mates to pizza hut, or get her to invite them round the house and order Dominos. Don't make work for over-worked school staff.

Bloodyfucksake · 17/01/2019 08:36

Laughing at my desk here mathanxiety at your use of the word JOBSWORTH. Nowhere in my job description does it mention sorting out anyone's Pizzas! Nothing to do with my job- and I'm sure the other (sensible) parents would prefer I ran my lunchtime study clubs instead.

CoughLaughFart · 17/01/2019 08:41

Math, you claim the OP stated she couldn’t afford a party at home. What she actually said was this:

It was her 16th. I wouldn't have done it for any other birthdays. We couldn't afford a proper sweet 16 (bloody reality TV) so she had to make do with a house gathering in the evening. It was just a bit of added specialness

So what she actually couldn’t afford was a ‘proper sweet 16’ - the daughter had to ‘make do’ with a ‘house gathering’. So rather than the pizzas at school being instead of her friends coming over for the night, it was actually in addition to that. Kind of blows your argument about it being a huge financial burden and a clean-up effort to rival a natural disaster out of the water, doesn’t it?

BorisBogtrotter · 17/01/2019 08:45

Math's chip on her shoulder exposed again, "Jobsworth". Have you not considered that the staff allowed this to go ahead in seperate room as a compromise, rather than just being vindictive.

But no British teaching staff are just jobsworths.

The OP was an entitled idiot, schools do not exist to facilitate private parties. Oh and actually, this level of "look at me look at me" is very chavvy.

CoughLaughFart · 17/01/2019 08:55

because none of them really knew what they were doing or why, a complete no-brainer (something handled by schools all over North America and even some schools in the UK too) was turned into an unpleasant incident in which nobody won.

So now you’re questioning the competency of school staff because they’re not running a food delivery service? Unbelievable. When are you going to get it into your head that it DOESN’T MATTER how many US schools would be fine with this - this isn’t a US school and, even if there are UK schools that would be fine about this (can anyone name one?), the OP’s daughter doesn’t attend one.

The staff at Dominos aren’t teachers or teaching assistants. The same applies in reverse.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 17/01/2019 08:58

I have had no chance to get through the full thread (it's so long) but I'm shocked that you can't see the issues with this OP.

Food cooked anywhere like that could have had something which another child allergic to. That's why school have guidelines on what can and can't be brought in. Also at 16, she could have just gone for pizza with her friends after school.

What an attention seeking move. If you're going to do that, at least at 16 do something classy and grown up, not "here love, have a few takeaway pizzas".

BorisBogtrotter · 17/01/2019 09:08

Funny that Math's amazing education led her to make erroneous links between PP students and pizza deliveries.

CloudPop · 17/01/2019 09:13

Do American schools really have ad hoc food orders turning up at all times? So the teachers take delivery, and then busy themselves delivering the food to the relevant children? I hope they remember to take plates, cutlery and napkins along as well.

BorisBogtrotter · 17/01/2019 09:21

American schools do not, they may have kids ordering food and collecting it themselves, like many British 6th forms do.

However a quick google shows that schools in the US are banning use of delivbery apps.

So its not just UK schools math.

Disproved, again.

otterturk · 17/01/2019 09:35

This wouldn't have been weird at my private school...

SummerGems · 17/01/2019 09:35

I haven’t read the whole thread but if you look at e.g. deliveroo/uber eats etc a lot of the fast food establishments actively state that they won’t deliver to schools.

At sixteen I wouldn’t be so paranoid about allergies, children bring in all sorts into secondary school - they don’t have the kinds of restrictions that primaries do and at sixteen I would expect children to be aware of their allergies and what they can and can’t eat.

However I have a sixteen year old and if I had balloons delivered for his birthday I think he would disown me. Grin he might ask for money for him and his mates to go out for pizza after though. Grin. Ll

BobLemon · 17/01/2019 09:41

YABVVVVVU

HTH

MamaBear2181 · 17/01/2019 10:02

A well known pizza chain declares on their website that they do not deliver to hospitals or schools, and surely no others would be so stupid as to do so? I can BS.

MamaBear2181 · 17/01/2019 10:03

*call

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 17/01/2019 10:21

No wonder there is an obesity epidemic in the US if it is a routine practice for children to have takeaways delivered to school for lunch.

And still waiting to know what op did for her oh so special daughters first period.

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