WIBU to get pizza delivered to DD's school for her birthday lunch?

[PizzaMom]

I apparently am known as 'that' parent and have been given the side eye the few times I've gone in since!

It was DD's 16th last month on a school day. I ordered a few pizzas to be sent to school at lunchtime so she could share them with her mates in the common room. Teachers were not going to let her have them and when they relented (by the time they got cold) made her and a few friends eat them in a separate meeting room when she had planned to share them as there was enough for about 20 people!

I don't see it as being that different from me bringing in a forgotten lunch box?

I also ordered flowers and a balloon to be delivered and school refused to let her have them until after school had finished.

I was trying to make DD's day special. I really didn't think would have been that much of an issue which ruined it a bit for DD.

WIBU?

Ooh, regular orders of pizza and choc milkshakes to school near US explains a lot

*GreenTulips Mon 14-Jan-19 23:31:26
and you know she would love this and make her feel special - frankly disgusted at those who have took the piss throughout this thread

What’s special about pizza? Nothing really we have it most weeks.

The only ‘special’ is the fuss caused at school - by everyone staring - not as OPs suggests in amazement and jealously but in total cringyness of the situation*

Oh give over - of course there's nothing 'special' about pizza - what is 'special' is the this mum arranged for her daughter's birthday her friends to have pizza - cringyness? so glad I don't associate in your circles as celebrating a birthday with a takeaway is the norm in my child's school - what's to 'brag' about?

in case of doubt - child went to a little village school north east England - nothing so fancy as the US

God forbid a loving mother tries to do something nice for her daughter.....

Not the point at all, as has been stated already! IF^ the school normally allowed students to host birthday pizza lunch parties during their lunch breaks and share with some other students (enough for 20 other people so how many did that leave out?) and to interrupt class time throughout the school day with floral & balloon deliveries then the OP wouldn’t have been getting side-eye and a reputation as “that” parent, whatever she thinks that means. You said you don’t really see how that is different than bringing in a forgotten lunchbox!?

so glad I don't associate in your circles as celebrating a birthday with a takeaway is the norm in my child's school

Certainly not the norm round here - or anywhere else I’ve heard of - large inner city.

Normally kids have birthday celebrations with friends at home or restaurant -

Is it really acceptable ANYWHERE to have a takeaway delivered to school?!

What is the problem with students being left out? These students are surely old enough to understand that they are not entitled to horn in on someone else's celebration.

Yes it is, Lovingbenidorm.

It's always envy and jealousy on these situations. Person A does something to draw attention to themselves and prove how special and unique they are and hope the world is jealous of them.

What sort of a culture makes these thoughts possible?

Is it the effect of the class/caste system?
That if you stick your neck up one inch further than those around you, you must be doing it for attention or you must have delusions of specialness, and that everyone else is justified in jealousy and envy and spite if it seems that you can afford to bestow anything out of the ordinary on someone or dare to do that unusual thing...

In Ireland it's called begrudgery.

It is truly gobsmacking to behold.

*I kind of lost interest when most of you said I was BU.
*
If you don't want an answer, don't ask the question!

No math. Leaving people out while you show off with the chosen few is nasty. Like picking sides in PE. It's horrible. Leaving people out in this way is one of the insidious forms of bullying often practiced by girls.

It is only a case of 'showing off' if you choose to see it that way.

I honestly am baffled by the mindset of someone who would choose to see it that way.

It comes from begrudgery, from envy, from a certainty that choices other people make are all about you.

Pizza mom and math (an Americanism in itself) are the gifts that keep on giving! This thread is hilarious with OP insisting everyone else is wrong and math is licking her bum! Entertaining!

mathanxiety
A culture where it's not the done thing to show off.

We see it on lots of threads. Person A does something very flashy, act in a way to cause a scene, behave in a way to draw attention to themself or their possessions or how they've spent money etc then claim anyonr who disagrees with them must be jealous (rather than the more obvious response which is people just think their decision/actions were ridiculous). On being challenged person A goes either for wide eyed faux naivity of 'oh but I was only wearing my designer shoes to a situation full of mud because I happened not to think that mud might be an issue, I didn't mean to spend 10 minutes ensuring the discussion was about me / well I don't see the issue. I can't believe any of you would have a problem with someone buying something nice for their child', or claims of jealousy/envy, or some sort of silly dig highlighting that the poster does indeed believe they are better.

Then you get the interpretations you've just done 'oh people don't like anyone who sticks their neck up... people mustn't like anyone ever doing anything to ever make someone feel special. How awful that the world must had individuality' etc again all about how the person making a scene must be a victim in this big bad world.

Bottom line is that the showy types like to do whatever is going to make people look at them. If the norm in the OP's school was to allow all of y11 to order pizza then the OP probably wouldn't have ordered pizza, there would be a catering van hired. She could have done pizza with her friends at home, but the audience was needed.

See also people expecting their partners to send them gifts and flowers to work. It's perfectly possible to show you love someone without taking up admin staff's time taking deliveries. Getting personal presents delivered to work is about a public gesture (complete with fawning)

Meanwhile in reality, the vast majority of people know how to celebrate, are able to share nice things, are able to show love and care to their loved ones, celebrate birthdays etc just fine without the showy stuff.

This is just weird. I understand the concept but schools contain a lot of children from deprived backgrounds whose parents could never afford this. Also foster children whose mothers don't even turn up to contact.
Let's be mindful of others and not shove it in other kids faces. Your heart is in the right place but I just don't think you're seeing the bigger picture

mathanxiety

If its not "showing off" why was it done in school?
Why as so many people have said didn't they do it later after school? many pizza places host pizza parties.
Why organise something is such a way that is going to cause issues?

Of course it's showing off

I could say maybe if your teachers did less of this and more actual teaching that your country might not have voted for that idiot as your president

To be honest, looking at the current political situation I don't think we're in any position to criticise US citizens for their voting choices.

The name calling of the OP and her child on this thread 🙄

‘Inviting’ someone into school as a safeguarding issue - they wouldn’t have got past reception.

Honestly, you’re all a bigger bunch of twats regardless of what you think of the OP (and Math and anyone else who hasn’t pointed and name called).

Quite a leap of faith to connect people being afraid to stand out academically ( because of white working class masculinity) and people standing out because of conspicuous consumption by a parent on behalf of a child, math, in fact utterly incorrect. Did you actually read the paper? Standing out because of academic achievement is very different, and if you knew schools with large PP populations at all, you'd know that standing out because of material goods is quite normal. Actually its a poor conflation of the topic, badly made. I really wouldn't trust your opinion on anything to do with education if you are that badly educated that you made such a poor argument.

Oh and the OP did ask the staff to do things, the reception staff took delivery of the goods and were required to take care of them, the OP would have been the first here if the had just been left in reception and picked up by any passing student. They had to have a room arranged for them to eat in because the school rules didn't allow them to eat that in the common room. I notice how you dismissed the school rules as "silly" and actually denigrated the teachers by doing so. You think kids at that age should be able to deal with being excluded ? Yes they should be able to handle some of it, but a private party held at school with great fanfare is still not an appropriate thing to have.

As I said, the staff at a school are there to facilitate the learning of students and to ensure a safe environment. They are not there to facilitate your child having a special day on their birthday.

What? People are now twats for thinking school isn't the time or place for a private party and take away delivery facilitated by staff who have their own jobs to do?

Support staff in schools have their own job to do and that isn't being a delivery service for personal treats.

I find it interesting how Math has managed to post a series of long responses, yet has failed each time to answer a question regularly put to her: Why did this have to be in school?

Of course there’s nothing wrong with making your children feel special. But why would the same gesture have been any less special at home? The same amount of pizza; the same number of friends invited to share; the same balloon and flowers. Why would it happening at school make it any more special?

There’s one unavoidable answer: the attention. It’s not enough to get the treats; she had to be seen getting them. It’s not enough for the friends she wants to involve to be part of it; she has to make sure those who weren’t involved know about it. That’s why the daughter suggested it and, as the apple obviously didn’t fall far from the tree, #Coolmom was only to happy to oblige. After all, she’s getting the attention she craves too.

my ex used to do this when i wasnt talking to him he would send flowers to my work it was annoying but i get what youre trying to do op better to keep it personal though and at home

Maybe should've checked with the school first. Most likely they'd said no and that be it. No massive issue made and moved onto Plan B.

I think that it's a lovely idea! It's a fun treat for a special birthday.
As for the poster further up the thread saying you won't know allergens, I'm sure at 16 the children are aware of what they can and can't eat.