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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to get pizza delivered to DD's school for her birthday lunch?

708 replies

PizzaMom · 12/01/2019 19:51

I apparently am known as 'that' parent and have been given the side eye the few times I've gone in since!

It was DD's 16th last month on a school day. I ordered a few pizzas to be sent to school at lunchtime so she could share them with her mates in the common room. Teachers were not going to let her have themHmm and when they relented (by the time they got cold) made her and a few friends eat them in a separate meeting room when she had planned to share them as there was enough for about 20 people!

I don't see it as being that different from me bringing in a forgotten lunch box?

I also ordered flowers and a balloon to be delivered and school refused to let her have them until after school had finished.

I was trying to make DD's day special. I really didn't think would have been that much of an issue which ruined it a bit for DD.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
GrammarTeacher · 14/01/2019 06:47

As so often, Maisy has said what I want to say.

BoneyBackJefferson · 14/01/2019 06:55

mathanxiety

Any rule that is about health and safety in the workshop is by your definition a rule for an invented problem.

as are most laws.

They are based on what could happen or in your terms invented problems.

MaisyPops · 14/01/2019 07:04

GrammarTeacher
Our 6th formers go and get pizza and takeaway and bring it back to the common room. They also (shock horror) sometimes bring birthday cakes in, and share with the staff as well Smile. If the room is left a tip then no food is allowed in there for a week.

Year 11 aren't allowed to order food in for all the reasons lots of posters have said.

If we are being really honest, the reason for a hypothetial y11 parent ordering pizzas and getting them delivered to school, flowers, balloons etc is less about how nice pizza is, and more to do with how much fuss can made to prove how much more unique their child is than anyone else. If it was commonly accepted for year 11 to have pizza deliveries, OP would have had to one up it to prove just how much more special and unique her DC is. That's how showy gestures work.

treaclesoda · 14/01/2019 07:08

I don't think parents would be welcomed dropping off a PE kit at my kids school, I'd be surprised if the school office accepted it. If you forget your kit you're meant to face the consequences, which presumably is something like a detention.

BoneyBackJefferson · 14/01/2019 07:13

The strange thing is that the problem isn't the pizzas or the resp[onse of the school.

Its the complete lack of thought in organising it.

I have no doubt that the school's respnose would have been completely different if the OP (who has disappeared) had organised this with the school properly.

Although I suspect that she would still be pissy about having the pizza in a private room.

Karwomannghia · 14/01/2019 07:15

Yep showy, inconvenient and lazy. Our parents have the courtesy to ask about sending in a cake to share.

GrammarTeacher · 14/01/2019 07:20

Our sixth formers go out to get food (we're very close to town centre). Deliveries to school are definitely frowned upon unless it's to an after school club/rehearsal or similar. But we have boarders so they get deliveries.
Although our sixth formers don't have a kettle or their own kitchen area.
But yes, you're right if OP was in a school where this was common place something else would have been done. I don't see why 16 is a big deal anymore to be honest. But there we go.

GrammarTeacher · 14/01/2019 07:21

Oh and yes cake is very commonplace in sixth form. Geography have a cake competition (the cakes must be geographical in some way). The kids show their individuality and then some. And everyone gets cake.

Quickerthanavicar · 14/01/2019 07:56

Good Grief.

BorisBogtrotter · 14/01/2019 10:01

Hilarious conflation by mathanxiety regarding children not wanting to stand out, and a big fuss being made by the mum over a daughter. I mean it must be this terrible culture of being afraid to stand out ( which doesn't happen in the states) which makes the UK 9 places higher than the US in PISA rankings.

Essentially this was a private party held at school, which the school had to facilitate.

Its completely different from 6th formers sorting and bringing in their own food, when it is allowed in the common room, or students bringing in birthday cakes or nice things for a lunch. That is student led and the students sort it out themselves, in accordance with school rules.

What you asked for OP was for the school to run around, take deliveries, bend the rules for you, find separate rooms to have your private party etc. Its like you were treating them like they were your staff, not professionals with other jobs to do.

You were being unreasonable and showing off, in fact you have all the class of a lottery winner.

Diamondangel8 · 14/01/2019 10:09

Is this real??? OMG!! I'm howling! How showy.

recklessruby · 14/01/2019 10:20

Our 6th form bring food in but actually do tidy up
They have a lovely new sixth form centre and take pride in it.
Our year 11s however would make a right mess but no parent has ever done this at our school.
Loads of year 11 means loads of 16th birthdays and pizza deliveries every other day would mean a lot of disruption in an important exam year!
We do have the big 16th balloons brought in mostly by the girls for their friends and they can be a pain!
It would have been better to have a bunch of her friends over after school for the pizza/balloons/flowers or every 16 year old will expect it at school (and every teacher will hate you).

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/01/2019 10:32

Anyone would think MN were happily leaving this load of bollocks to run so it drives traffic to the site.

Cynical? Moi?

liverbird10 · 14/01/2019 11:02

Grin Surely one for Classics.

Janleverton · 14/01/2019 14:26

Both my dcs school take a very hard line on things being dropped off for kids during the day - even things required for schools like, for example, PE kits and books. The generally approach is for the first terms or so of year 7 they will try to get stuff from the office to the child, but by the end of the year, no more leeway. You have a music lesson? You make sure you have your instrument.

I wonder if this is a private school because the dc’s comps certainly don’t hav the time or money to have runners ready to spirit the forgotten things (let alone birthday pizza) to the appropriate classroom. They also don’t have common rooms until 6th form.

GladAllOver · 14/01/2019 16:20

Surely one for Classics.
Or the Fail.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 14/01/2019 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/01/2019 16:38

Surely one for Classics.

Ah for the old days when Classics actually meant something.

lavenderhidcote · 14/01/2019 16:57

Another crazy tale from the 51st state, and it's only going to get worse...

liverbird10 · 14/01/2019 17:50

@AdobeWanKenobi Grin Clearly that was before my time.

ClaryFray · 14/01/2019 18:16

Hello daily mail.

And on the off chance this is real yabu

scoobydoobydoooooh · 14/01/2019 18:25

If this is true YABU.

Are you also one of those women who gets your partner to deliver flowers to your workplace for birthday and Valentine's day?

chestylarue52 · 14/01/2019 18:29

You should probably get in the local paper. Stand angrily in front of the school with your arms crossed and your daughter in front of you looking sad and holding a slice of pizza. Classic.

Candace19 · 14/01/2019 18:37

Yes unfortunately you are U. It's absolutely a lovely thing to do but school isn't the place. Sorry.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 14/01/2019 18:39

Yeah I can see why your “that” parent