WIBU to get pizza delivered to DD's school for her birthday lunch?

[PizzaMom]

I apparently am known as 'that' parent and have been given the side eye the few times I've gone in since!

It was DD's 16th last month on a school day. I ordered a few pizzas to be sent to school at lunchtime so she could share them with her mates in the common room. Teachers were not going to let her have them and when they relented (by the time they got cold) made her and a few friends eat them in a separate meeting room when she had planned to share them as there was enough for about 20 people!

I don't see it as being that different from me bringing in a forgotten lunch box?

I also ordered flowers and a balloon to be delivered and school refused to let her have them until after school had finished.

I was trying to make DD's day special. I really didn't think would have been that much of an issue which ruined it a bit for DD.

WIBU?

Seeing as already been posted on twitter wonder if next is the Daily Mail..

Still have doubts about it..

Yeah... this didn’t happen 😂

TBH this thread is in a similar vein to the 'my son went to a different school, cos his started the next day, and caused havoc for the school staff and it was so funny' thread.

I just don’t see how collecting a few pizzas and taking them to a room is a problem.

It’s not a regular part of a school day, I accept, but as a special surprise on a Friday, it seems lovely.

20 "select few" In Crowd clique have pizza delivered at school?
So much wrong with this whole thing, I think some on this thread must either be 'One of Those Parents" themselves or living in Cuckoo Land lol

What foes Friday have to do with it? Is it less lovely on a Wednesday? Is there no teaching on Friday? If it arrives on a Monday is it horrible or even more lovely(as Mondays suck anyways) ?

OrangeSamphire

its already been said but

its about ten pizzas, that the school are not expecting and could be a hoax.

There is the issue of getting the pizzas to the common room, through the school.

There is the issue of the pupils in the common room that won't be allowed pizza because they are not the DD's friends.

and yes there is the cleaning up afterwards.

again the DD wasn't there to get them (its an area were pupils are not allowed).

the school did allow her to have the pizzas but in a private room just her and her friends, any argument was down to her.

I would consider a school allowing parents to drop off forgotten lunches or PE kits and then sending runners to individual students to inform them they were at the office to be the definition of spoiling.

If a child doesn’t have their lunch with them they may not eat. Yes, of course they should have remembered, but it’s not great for a growing child to go without food all day. Can you really not see that getting lunch to your child is slightly more important than a grand gesture in the middle of the school day?

Yes, God forbid that precious lessons would be disrupted.

This is generally considered quite important in schools.

That anyone who sticks her neck out is fair game?

She’s a woman who thought making a very visible fuss about her daughter’s birthday is more important than the running of a school. She’s not Emmeline sodding Pankhurst.

Wow.

it’s not great for a growing child to go without food all day. Can you really not see that getting lunch to your child is slightly more important than a grand gesture in the middle of the school day?
It is far more important to teach a child that there is a consequence to forgetting his lunch. That way you guarantee that the child won't repeat the performance and growth won't be stunted.

Has the possibility that forgetting lunch and PE kit is attention seeking behaviour? This is an element of the enabling behaviour by adults and schools alike that seems to have been overlooked. Is is possible that little Matilda and Henry are getting more out of it than just their lunches when the runners get dispatched from the office?

"God forbid that precious lessons would be disrupted."
This is generally considered quite important in schools.
But apparently not as important as teaching children to remember their own stuff.
Life skills are equally as important as fractions. In the long run, moreso.

It is really, really important to teach children not to forget important things like lunch or PE kit, and it is really, really important to teach children that school staff are not put on earth to run around after them.
Or is that only if parents have the temerity to make a special occasion out of their child's birthday

The potential for children to get very mixed messages seems to be another aspect of this that posters here are overlooking.

I would consider a school allowing parents to drop off forgotten lunches or PE kits and then sending runners to individual students to inform them they were at the office to be the definition of spoiling.

Yep, I was surprised that OP's school does this. If nothing else that they have the budget to pay for people to act as runners. DC's school scarcely has someone on Reception all day. They would also discourage parents bringing items in, but if they did, they would just be added to lost property (which is right next to Reception) which might or might not be useful for the DC they were intended for.

If a child doesn’t have their lunch with them they may not eat.

I think all schools have an "emergency dinner money" procedure.
Or the DC will borrow money/take food off their friends. highly unlikely they won't eat.

...you will note the OP has never stated that her DD cleared up after herself and her friends

You're right. That bit was invented by a good few posters here.

She didn't say they didn't either.

its about ten pizzas, that the school are not expecting and could be a hoax.

There is the issue of getting the pizzas to the common room, through the school.

There is the issue of the pupils in the common room that won't be allowed pizza because they are not the DD's friends.

and yes there is the cleaning up afterwards.

again the DD wasn't there to get them (its an area were pupils are not allowed).
She went to reception to get them at lunchtime, and they were hot at that point so obviously recently delivered, fresh pizzas. The flowers had arrived earlier along with the balloon, and she learned about these when she went to get the pizzas.

The rest of it is also silly nonsense.

How do children carry their belongings through the school? Apparently lack of lockers is an issue in British schools, so children are left to lug backpacks, PE kit, art bag, and lunch through the corridors. What is so different about carrying boxes of pizza? Was there a danger she would be mauled? If yes, then the problem is the other students, not the pizzas...

Are you really saying that noses would be out of joint if so-and-so got pizza and little Johnny didn't? Is little Johnny entitled, much? Do we gloss over or enable envy or do we confront it?

How do children cope with the fact that others get something different in their lunch boxes than they did?

How is forbidding pizza delivery going to deal with hoaxes?

there are a huge amount of rules for invented problems.

Really?

If so, why?

Doesnt't that make the rest of the rules look incredibly silly?

Don't see the issue with the balloon and flowers being left till later. The balloon especially as it would've had to been put in the back of the class anyway or somewhere out the way.

I'm really not very familiar with this apparent crisis of kids forgetting their books/lunch/PE-kit and having their parents bring it in. I do recall kids (including me) forgetting stuff on the odd occasion, but it'd be pretty unusual to have your parents bring it. On the occasion I forgot my PE kit, I had to don something from lost property. That said, I'm not adverse to parents dropping it off if they're free, but I imagine the parents aren't going to be delighted to continue to do so for their child if it becomes a frequent trip.

And I really, really don't see the problem with little Tarquin or Mercedes having to have their birthday parade outside of school hours, nor do I see discouraging pop-up birthday parties for the affluent children as encouraging mediocrity. Achievement is not about how rich or flashy a child's parents are:

Don't get why if this happened last month they waited till now to post.. Has it been thought about all this time?

Pizzamom

What a fitting name lol

I love that OP asks if she's BU, the majority of responses say yes, so she resorts to name calling and disagrees.
If OP had no doubt about her actions, she wouldn't have posted.
This has to be a wind up.

Wow! Speaking as a teacher, you are indeed THAT parent - unfortunately, it's nothing to be proud of!

Crudd
I'm really not very familiar with this apparent crisis of kids forgetting their books/lunch/PE-kit and having their parents bring it in.

The fact that this is a normal and fine and dandy thing to do as compared with the delivery of pizza, etc for a birthday, has been brought up by many, many posters here. Maybe ask the posters who think this is ok if it happens much in their necks of the woods. I suspect it does, and they are speaking from their own observations.

...nor do I see discouraging pop-up birthday parties for the affluent children as encouraging mediocrity. Achievement is not about how rich or flashy a child's parents are.

Non achievement happens in a culture where the dominant culture discourages it or devalues it and where children are afraid to stand out. Children are afraid to stand out when they have adults in their lives like those on this thread who mocked a parent and child who were not afraid to stand out. Children bully others in a climate like this, and unfortunately, standing out for reasons of high academic attainment can make life miserable for some students in a community that places conformity above other values.

Statistics show that FSM students in all categories do better than FSM white boys, and this article suggests that peer pressure is part of the reason why.
cpb-us-e1.wpmucdn.com/blogs.ntu.edu.sg/dist/3/1418/files/2016/12/3.-Shaun-s-Story-Troubling-discourses-of-white-working-class-masculinities-1rx295b.pdf

Yes, God forbid that precious lessons would be disrupted.

Yep. The reason I send my children to school is so they can attend the precious lessons, delivered by qualified professionals. They can do parties at home.

Non achievement happens in a culture where the dominant culture discourages it or devalues it and where children are afraid to stand out. Children are afraid to stand out when they have adults in their lives like those on this thread who mocked a parent and child who were not afraid to stand out.
Thinking a pizza delivery to school (if real) is silly means we must hate people standing out?
Underperformance happens because of a culture where people seem it ridiculous for a parent to deliver pizza to school?
Seriously?

Maybe some of us want children to thrive, shine & stand out based on their personal qualities, their academic ability, or their skills, not their parents willingness to make a huge song and dance by ordering take away to school and expecting others to sort it.

If the only way a 16 year old can shine and stand out is by her mother doing grand birthday gestures to make a scene in school then something has gone wrong somewhere.