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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to get pizza delivered to DD's school for her birthday lunch?

708 replies

PizzaMom · 12/01/2019 19:51

I apparently am known as 'that' parent and have been given the side eye the few times I've gone in since!

It was DD's 16th last month on a school day. I ordered a few pizzas to be sent to school at lunchtime so she could share them with her mates in the common room. Teachers were not going to let her have themHmm and when they relented (by the time they got cold) made her and a few friends eat them in a separate meeting room when she had planned to share them as there was enough for about 20 people!

I don't see it as being that different from me bringing in a forgotten lunch box?

I also ordered flowers and a balloon to be delivered and school refused to let her have them until after school had finished.

I was trying to make DD's day special. I really didn't think would have been that much of an issue which ruined it a bit for DD.

WIBU?

OP posts:
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PyongyangKipperbang · 13/01/2019 16:52

Is the herd mentality so strong?

Amongst teenagers? Yes. If this is real then I predict that there will have been at least 2 more such deliveries before the end of the year and next year there will be a letter sent out on day one, banning it.

If you cant see that kids all follow the herd, regardless of what they secretly think or feel, then you dont have teenagers.

GrammarTeacher · 13/01/2019 16:52

At our school as in many they're not allowed to bring in cooked food to the common room (which 16 year olds don't have anyway). Hot food only in canteen or outside. Deliveries aren't accepted and only the sixth formers are allowed out. They don't get to eat in the class rooms (unless it's a supervised club) for many reasons. The main one being that even if the tidy up the room would stink. And yes, I think it's arrogant to take over the common room for your 'party' if it's not for everyone.
Anyway, all these people saying it's ok would you be happy if someone did this in your work place and stunk it out with takeaway pizza. It was hard enough working in a boys school while pregnant (I have a sensitive sense of smell at the best times) it would have been time times worse if takeaways were allowed!

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 13/01/2019 16:55

My kids would be MORTIFIED if I did that to them. You should have checked with the school and your daughter first and then you would have realised by their reaction that it was a dumb idea. Sorry, because I know your heart was in the right place but it was probably a huge embarrassment!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 13/01/2019 16:55

Nah, pics or it didn't happen Hmm

Bekabeech · 13/01/2019 17:03

@mathanxiety - you are in the US? You don't have the UK food regulations and obviously aren't somewhere with high safety fears.

To be honest a delivery driver couldn't even get into my DCs school, they wouldn't be buzzed in the gates.

A school could cope. But there is not reason they should, and the on school caterers would be furious if this happened regularly - outside organisations don't have to stick to their stick nutrition rules.

thatsmycoat · 13/01/2019 17:06

Like I’ve said, I’m in the UK and have known kids order pizzas for lunch. It really isn’t the massive deal some are making out it is.

TeddybearBaby · 13/01/2019 17:06

I’m sure I read that the daughter knew and wanted / requested it @AllTakenSoRubbishUsername x

MrsPinkCock · 13/01/2019 17:11

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MaisyPops · 13/01/2019 17:15

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Pk37 · 13/01/2019 17:18

I didn’t think this was such an awful idea like some are making out but I hadn’t really thought of the logistics of it all

CoughLaughFart · 13/01/2019 17:20

Not so. There was a common room where the pizzas could be eaten, and apparently 20 people could easily have shared them there.
The staff intervened to create a mountain out of a molehill and made the DD have the pizzas in a separate meeting room when the pizzas were cold.

No. If there was a common room where they could have eaten the pizzas, there wouldn’t have been a problem. There was actually a common room that the staff said they couldn't eat the pizza in. And the last time I checked, it was staff who made the decisions, not pupils.

Seriously?
Once one person does it, everyone has to? Is this how stuff happens in Britain?
And even if three more people do it, how is it a terrible thing?

No - but things do become trends. Will it happen every day of the week? Of course not. But even a few times a month is a disruption.

*why would everyone else feel the need to jump on the bandwagon?

Is the herd mentality so strong? Does nobody have a mind of their own and can nobody accept that other people have a mind of their own?*

I find it odd that you can understand teenagers having minds of their own, yet because a lot of people have been critical of the OP, it’s a ‘pile-on’.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 13/01/2019 17:22

This is almost certainly a windup, but I'll bite...

The pizza thing could be because school have a contract with their caterers regarding food being brought in. Our secondary school certainly had this and it was to stop competition with the catering service. Teachers and the staff room might be exempt.

I can also quite imagine that the prospect of takeaway deliveries for a select group of party friends is not great for the school and are they meant to police the distribution of party food to only those friends invited? A pizza or two ordered by a teacher for a small study group where they are responsible, is one thing. A 20 pizza birthday party in the common room, unattended and not organised by staff, is quite another.

Flowers kept in reception could be because the staff didn't want the flowers getting totally destroyed in your DD's tote bag. Maybe they thought your DD would like to take them home with her in one piece. I'm guessing the balloon was a helium one, just perfect for getting down from the top of some high ceiling around school.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 13/01/2019 17:24

Sorry, enough pizza for 20 people, so maybe 10 pizzas. Still, that's a lot of commotion and definitely not in the same realm as someone getting their own individual pizza to eat themselves.

Pachyderm1 · 13/01/2019 17:26

The real issue here is that if every 16yo’s parents behaved this way the school would just be a constant conduit for pizzas and balloons and flowers. Not to mention what might happen when you factor in those turning 18 as well.

Your surprises were nice but save them for home time. She’s at school to get an education, not be the centre of attention.

CoughLaughFart · 13/01/2019 17:27

Like I’ve said, I’m in the UK and have known kids order pizzas for lunch. It really isn’t the massive deal some are making out it is.

Sigh... yes, but for the 17th time, a couple of teenagers getting a pizza between them (and presumably getting a call from the driver when it arrives) is very different to ordering enough for 20 and expecting the school to run around after the pupils to organise collection and a place to eat it.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 13/01/2019 17:27

Basically, you wanted to use the school common room (for free) to host a pizza lunch for your DD and her friends.

Presumably your DD cleared all the pizza mess away so the room looked exactly as it had done before? Not just shoved left over pizza and pizza boxes into the bin to stink out the whole room.

MrsScamander · 13/01/2019 18:01

Pizza may have been a step too far but not atrocious. But flowers delivered to the school?!

If my parents did that to me I would have been mortified! Save it for when she gets home!

Springmachine · 13/01/2019 18:07

This is hilarious
Grin

Poor girl though.
Must be a laughing stock to the teachers

usernameusername01 · 13/01/2019 18:25

The pizza is just about forgivable. Only problem I have is a member of staff had to find her...that's not what they are employed to do. They are employed, however, to track down students who have forgotten PE kits, pencil cases, books etc.

The flowers and balloon - I'm guessing the staff would have had to have found her with those as well? Depending on how big the school is, it could take half an hour to track her down, walk to the classroom, interrupt a lesson (and the learning of 29/30 other students), present her with them and walk back to desk. In the mean time the poor teacher now has to deal with a disturbed class all asking your DD questions about where they came from, what are they for, singing happy birthday and then possibly not ever getting back on track....lesson wasted all for your DD birthday.

This is coming from a 'killjoy Miss Trunchbull wannabe' teacher who always makes sure the class sings happy birthday at the beginning of lessons if it's anyone's birthday.

eternalopt · 13/01/2019 18:33

Well, you're becoming famous if nothing else 😂 (the replies on twitter, unmoderated by Mumsnet guidelines, are hilarious)

WIBU to get pizza delivered to DD's school for her birthday lunch?
ThanosSavedMe · 13/01/2019 18:40

Op ‘wibu?’

Mumsnet ‘yes and cringe too’

Op ‘no I’m not, you’re all horrible’

So not enough to be ‘that’ parent at school, you want to be that ‘poster’ on mn too.

Clionba · 13/01/2019 18:43

My favourite bit was calling teachers "Miss Trunchbulls" if they don't want to act like servants to spoilt teenagers! 😂 😂

mathanxiety · 13/01/2019 19:12

Pyong If you cant see that kids all follow the herd, regardless of what they secretly think or feel, then you dont have teenagers.

I have 5 DCs, one of whom is still a teenager, and following the herd is really not that serious a problem.

Maybe this is because conformity isn't considered the be all and end all by the parents and wider community where I live...

mathanxiety · 13/01/2019 19:15

...are they meant to police the distribution of party food to only those friends invited? A pizza or two ordered by a teacher for a small study group where they are responsible, is one thing. A 20 pizza birthday party in the common room, unattended and not organised by staff, is quite another.

Flowers kept in reception could be because the staff didn't want the flowers getting totally destroyed in your DD's tote bag. Maybe they thought your DD would like to take them home with her in one piece. I'm guessing the balloon was a helium one, just perfect for getting down from the top of some high ceiling around school.

You are all truly, madly, deeply overthinking this...

CoughLaughFart · 13/01/2019 19:25

Yes; we’re all wrong and you’re right.

🙄