To think DS(9) shouldnt do what teacher said?

[bluebench]

DS(9) does an after school dance club ran by another teacher. They were told a few weeks ago they could make up a routine to show at a special assembly which is now next Friday. 1 boy and 1 girl didn’t want to preform and seem to have stopped going at all now so it was just ds and 5 girls doing it. One girl was upset about this and said that it should just be a girl thing if the other boy didn't want to preform as it would look stupid with just one boy. She has complained to the dance teacher to the dance teacher every lesson about why ds shouldn't be able to do it and has tried to get the other girls to practice without him.

The dance teacher was unexpectedly off sick last week and will be up until after the assemberly, when she left DS was definitely doing the dance and if the other girl didn't drop it she was at risk of not. They've been allowed to practice in their classroom at lunch time and the girl has moved on to trying to convince their class teacher that DS shouldn't do it. She cried during the practice on Friday because the other girls wouldn't refuse to do it with DS which the teacher told her off for and then she cried again during afternoon lessons and the teacher had to take her outside.

DH and DS were called over after school and they were told he isn't going to be kicked out of the dance because as far as she's aware he hasn't done anything wrong but it would be 'very mature' and 'kind' if he had a think about letting the girls do the group dance on their own and then he can do a special solo instead. She also suggested that she knows he wouldn't want X to be upset and that the dance seems to be more important to her. I definitely appreciate that this isn't something the class teacher wants to be involved in, that she has enough to worry about and is probably just looking for the easiest way to resolve it but it seems really unfair on ds. He thinks he has to do what the teacher has pretty much told him he should do but is upset that the girl will think she's got what she wanted, that he cant do the dance hes been practising for with his other friends and only as a few days to make up a solo on his own.

AIBU to encourage DS to do the group dance if he wants and not suffer to make it easier the teacher and this girl?

I can see why your DS would want to do what the teacher suggested now but personally if I was in your DS' shoes I think I'd be quite bitter about stepping down in years to come. He may feel a bit embarrassed if you kick up a fuss about it but I think in the long run he will be happy his Mum didn't let him back down from something he clearly wants to do.

He should be proud that he didn't step down when he was the only boy left in the group, I know plenty of boys who would've in such a situation. I was the only girl in the football club when I was 10 - I'll never forget how the boys didn't think twice about it and did their best to include me from the get go. I left after one lesson 'cos I was hopeless at it LMAO but it had nothing to do with the other boys behavior.

The little girl responsible for this needs a reality check and needs to be excluded for bullying - she doesn't need it reinforcing that if she throws a tantrum she can get whatever she wants!

Stand your ground, your poor DS xx

Hope it went well and DS stood his ground.