To think a car belongs to the family not the person who drives it?

[bubblegumunicorn]

That really my DH is unable to drive due to disability and because of this he has decided he will not help me buy a car for our family and I need to do that on my own. He has a lot more money than me and has said he will help out here and there but will not cover that cost of a car we also have DC1 on the way so this is going to be a very expensive year financially and I don't really want to get a loan out for a car when he has enough in the bank to buy one. I just really want to know which one of us is being unreasonable in this situation.

Will he expect you to drive him around in YOUR car? If so, then it's a family car and he's being a twat. If he will never set foot in it and it will be for you alone, then I guess he has kind of a point, but he's still being a bit of an arse.

Whaaaat...???

You have far more problems than who should be paying for a FAMILY car.

Does he expect you to taxi him around?
How are you going to manage with a DC (yes fully aware people have DC without cars)
You’re married? Why not family money? Just weird! Surely it’s a joint decision. Like buying a dishwasher. Or a new washing machine. Do you own a house with this man?

Then he'd be managing with public transport or taxis in this house.

Agree, the car is not the issue here. I can never get my head around people who have children together having totally separate finances.

Who's DC will it be?

I'm sorry OP, you have a lot more problems than buying the car

Surely the point in marriage is a partnership? Sounds more like what's yours is his and what's his is his. I mean if he refuses what can you do (other than lose every ounce of respect for him) except never ever ever allow him to set foot in your car or charge him taxi prices if he does.

Depends if he wants you to drive him anywhere.

Me and my dp are responsible for our own cars - car loan, insurance, service, petrol.

I would never ask my dp to help me buy a car and vice versa

If he never gets a lift then fine.

Otherwise charge him per lift, as much as a taxi would cost.

I'd take the load and buy the car and if ever so much as wanted a lift to the bus stop I'd tell him to whistle

Is he going to do 50% of family transport himself without the car Getting groceries, taking child to activities, runs to the doctor, supplies from the hardware store? I’d be shocked if the answer is yes.

The only justification for him not buying a family car is if he will not benefit from it in any way. Otherwise it should be a joint decision on if you need one and then be bought with family funds.

I would buy a car but refuse ever to give him a lift anywhere. If he wants even one lift he needs to buy a car.

But as usual the car is the least of your problems and your DH is a twat.

Eh? You are married, it's impossible for one of you to have more money than the other. It's family money whether your dh agrees or not.
I can never understand this, tbh.

What do you mean by "he will help out here and there" as the higher earner? I am sick to the back teeth of hearing of men see their partners living a life of penury while on mat leave while nothing changes financially for them. Have you discussed how childcare will be paid for, assuming you are returning to work?

I pay for our household car (purchase and ongoing maintenance) because I am the higher earner, but I'm a non-driver so DH is the registered keeper, and I think of it as his car. Having said that, I would be mightily dischuffed if he decided to sell it without telling me!

Purpleartichoke even if he never sets foot in the car himself, I assume the car will be of benefit to his child?

OP, I'm not sure anyone would want to be with a man like this, he sounds awful and at least financially abusive.
Why on earth have you had a child with such a miser.

Buy a car yourself and make him walk.

Why are you having a child with someone who, and living with someone, who is keeping himself financially single?

Why are you doing that?

I have told him he can get the bus if he's not going to contribute to it we live in a tiny village with buses coming through twice an hour last one is at 8pm first at 8am outside of those times you're trapped! I've managed badly up until now but with DC1 on the way there is no way it will be possible to go anywhere by bus. We have a coop and a couple of pubs in the village as well as the doctors but everything else is at least 6 miles away. He is very selfish when it comes to money and has a mine attitude he doesn't get that we are married and 50% of everything is mine and 50% is his we both own the house but so far I've paid every mortgage payment because and I quote he paid the deposit (which was less than I have paid since we moved here)

More red flags than a golf course OP, I'm sorry.

From what you've implied the car will be a family asset that's needed because you are expecting a child.

You obviously don't have one now so presumably rely on public transport in a way I would assume that you would find difficult to with a baby.

He will aside from being the child's father also benefit from having access to a family car.

In this instance yes, he's unreasonable.

That said, if you don't need a car (for example live in central London) and it's simply a matter of you wanting one, then tbh I wouldn't want to contribute a substantial amount of money to an item that wasn't necessary.

So I'd say atm you haven't given enough information to make a call either way.

Why do you need the car? What would you be unable to do without it?

Going by your post, the car is the least of your worries.

He’s a twat.