People always surprised I'm a mum and it's starting to get boring...

[billieD]

I have an 11 week old (nearly 12 weeks). I'm 27 but look quite a bit younger, especially with no makeup. I got refused a scratch card because I didn't look old enough (16) - I even had my baby in a sling.

Basically, people always seem surprised that I'm a mum. I think parked in a parent and child parking space the other day, and a man (who clearly was struggling to find a space big enough for his car) shouted 'you know you're only meant to park there if you have kids!' - I wish he could've watched me take my baby out of his car seat but he had driven off.

I went to the hospital with my baby and my mum (routine check up for mum). Mum was holding my son and the woman next to us in the waiting area thought I was his sister! I explained that I am his mum, and she just wittered on about how I look far too young.

THIS IS NOT A STEALTH BOAST nor a good thing for my self esteem as I don't want to look like a 16 year old girl.

At my first day at work someone got in trouble for saying that my boyfriend must feel like a paedo being with me. This all happened behind my back and I was gutted when I found out.

I'm fed up of people thinking this was about me. How can I stop giving a shit? And feel confident even though I clearly look like a 14 year old?

I had my eldest at 26 and was mistaken for an au pair on the school run. With my youngest another mother on the maternity ward was really patronising me telling me about how to look after babies - it took me a while to realise she thought I was a first time (teen) mum. She was taken aback when I told her it was my second baby and I was 30(!)

I am now over 40 and no longer look young - sob!

Birdsgottafly I hope you're not implying my partner is some sort of pervert then, as I look 16/17. Are women like me just supposed to not date anyone until we are over 45?

I have the same thing with looking young and people commenting on it. A few examples...

At the airport I had to go through one of the full body scan machines which apparently you need parental permission for if under 16. One of the staff asked how old I was and when I said '24' he said 'sorry,' awkward pause, 'you don't look it.'

We had a family day at my workplace. Afterwards one colleague told me her daughter had asked her who that 12 year old was and another said her husband had asked if I was old enough to work there. Not sure why they felt the need to tell me

We went to the British Science Museum when I was 24 and there was an AI there that was supposed to guess your age when you stood in front of it. It guessed my age as 12.

It does suck when people feel the need to comment on how young you look and talk down to you (even if unconsciously) as a result. I've also been told I'll appreciate it when I'm older but I don't think that means I have to appreciate the patronising tones now! I don't really have any suggestions to help, but I definitely don't think you're exaggerating or wrong to feel the way you do.

I'm young looking too. It used to be a bit annoying but I got used to it. I had my baby at 31 and had people giving me "those looks" and tutting at me when I was out and about with him. Whenever I mentioned my son people would go "YOU have a child?!". Actually, the same thing happened when I got married at 30 and mentioned that I had a husband and people thought I was so mature "for my age". 😂

My son is now two and I have aged quite a bit since having him because I haven't slept for two years. I always anticipate getting ID'd in shops now, but the cashiers tend to give me a long look and then decide against asking to see my ID. This makes me feel a bit like a minor getting away with buying booze. Haha.

I do sometimes wish I looked more my age at work though. I work in a predominantly male industry and often have to meet up with men from construction companies etc, and they often are older men in their suits and they always look surprised when they first meet me as I'm quite pint sized and look about 17. If I'm there with my (older, male) boss, they tend to only talk to him even if they had come to see me. 🙄

Ummmmm Even now in my mid 40s I get told I don’t look half my age, I don’t wear make-up (not even a foundation)

Apparently my skin is like this because of my autoimmune condition making the skin repair itself so well.

Just throwing it into the mix.

my sister went through this and still is shes 30 but looks 15 at most,shes about 7 stone and 4ft 10 takes a 1 shoe and a A cup bra (in fact my 8 y old is taller and weighs more than her)

she married with 2 kids drives, goes out ,drinks etc the looks or questions she gets when shes with her kids(8 and 5)is like bloody hell she must have had them young

one old fella asked her when the kids were babies should she be at the supermarket unsupervised with babies,she was 25 at the time

she had her first baby when she was 22 and married but looked 14/15 the amount of looks and people that turned their nosed down at her was laughable,me being me(also pregnant the same time)used to shout problem love?and they used to reply shes a bit young aint she?no she bloody aint shes a married woman and shes 22 no fuck off

to this day she gets id for everything

me i was getting in to clubs at 12 as i was 5ft 9 , DD bust size 12 shoe looked early 20s

its such a difference and we are proper full sisters as well

I feel your pain op.
I’m 34 but because I’m short and still suffer from acne people always assume I’m much younger. I had my first child at 20 and often had disapproving looks from other people and lots of people just outright asking how old I was (what happened to not asking a woman her age?!)
Now when I tell people I have a 14 year old I get “oh you don’t look old enough to be a mum never mind have a 14 year old!” I’m never sure how to respond to that one, it makes me feel really awkward like they think I became a parent at 12 or something so I always say”yes, I had him at 20”

My friend has this problem. She's 26 but only 5ft with smooth skin and a round face. She's never forgotten the time she answered the door to a stranger who said
'Hello, are your parents in?'
She was holding her newborn at the time!!

Do you dress in a very young or casual way?

Fitted clothes, make up, heels, sophisticated hair styles are indicators of age

I get this a lot, people who don't look young for their age never understand but you get patronised and talked down to a lot!

I was sat waiting to watch one of my colleagues give a lecture, we worked together in a red brick university, I was about 30. One of the new undergrads who sat next to me asked me what A levels I had taken, my reply was I am a member of staff, poor lad looked mortified.

I once had a customer say to me”you’re not the manager,you’re a little girl.”

Can’t help really, but at 56 I’m not worried about it any more.

That was a horrible thing to say and yes of course it is hurtful and annoying.

I was pretty fairly baby faced until the day I hit 30 then it magically stopped! I once bumped into a former primary school teacher and they said they recognised me instantly as I still looked like a (slightly) taller version of my 6 year old self

I knew you’d get a load of replies accusing you of stealth boasting, but I totally get you. There’s a HUGE difference between being a youthful-looking 40 year old who passes for 25 and being mistaken for a teenager when you’re in your late twenties. Nobody in their twenties particularly wants to look younger than they are, especially when it means people treating you with disrespect as a result.

I am 34 and age is definitely starting to catch up with me now, but I still have the colleague who insists on talking to me about her first job, straight out of uni aged 22, as if it’s directly comparable to where I am in my career now (in my mid thirties and left uni 13 years ago!) Or the colleague who’s always telling me she had her first child at 33 so I’ve still got ‘plenty of time’ I don’t care if it sounds like a stealth boast, it’s patronising and incredibly irritating!

I will admit though that I do quite enjoy when someone younger than me attempts to patronise me, assuming I must be younger than them. The other day at work a very annoying woman said that I was probably too young to remember the internet dial-up sound so I wouldn’t know what she was talking about, only to realise she was actually 5 years younger than me

I get where you are coming from. I get this to and at 27 I don’t want to be told I look too young to be taken seriously. It does make me angry how patronising people get. I would never walk up to someone and tell them they look too old and should be retired because that would be rude