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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask about your HV?

70 replies

hankib · 11/01/2019 17:32

I’ve been a children’s nurse for a few years now and have recently taken the plunge and applied to do my masters to become a heath visitor - something I’ve wanted to do for years now. I didn’t realise what a bad rep HV’s had until I got on MN and saw all the negative threads and comments etc. I’ve just started the course and would love to hear if anyone has any positive stories or tips they’d wished their HV had shared? I don’t want to read MN one day and find a thread slagging me off

Sorry not AIBU but posting for traffic whilst bored on a long coach journey lol

OP posts:

BranstonTickle · 11/01/2019 17:36

Loved both of mine! They were caring, kind, proactive in sorting additional support and perceptive in spotting issues. I never felt judged, not once. They came up with practical, workable advice that made sense in my context, rather than parroting guidelines.

Good luck, I hope you really enjoy your new adventure

fermezzlabouche · 11/01/2019 17:42

Mine is a previous children's nurse (I know because she worked with my mum) I really like her and have had only positive experiences.

My friend had a baby at the same time as me though and really disliked hers she found her judgey, rude and invasive have also heard lots of bad experiences from colleagues but then one of my friends has a 3 year old and absolutely loves hers and often goes to her for first advice over GP.

Good luck!

whatsthepointthen · 11/01/2019 17:44

I didnt dislike the ones I had just didnt see the need for them so didnt see them again after the initial visit.

DoingMyBest2010 · 11/01/2019 17:46

I adored mine, she was a life saver.

NicoleNoPants · 11/01/2019 17:46

Mine was a forever midwife- she was lovley. The one I had before I moved just told me about about her 12 year old daughter’s pelvic floor.

NicoleNoPants · 11/01/2019 17:47

Former- obviously not a forever midwife as she had retrained to be a HV

OutPinked · 11/01/2019 17:49

Well my DS is 10 weeks old and HV only visited once when he was 2 weeks old. She stayed for around half an hour and we found her quite interesting. She told us about studies with damaged synapses due to parents letting their babies CIO and we were hanging off her every word . However she was kind of scatty and didn’t turn up when she was supposed to at six weeks... this was after her cancelling the first appointment and rearranging so I’ve just given up, doubt I’ll ever see her again.

The worst thing about HV’s is waiting around for them to not turn up and feeling an immense pressure to have a tidy home before they arrive for fear they’ll judge you otherwise (that may just be me though...) I can’t say I ever enjoyed their visits and always longed for them to be over tbh. The HV with my DC3 was extremely condescending and offered outdated advice such as weaning at 3 months .

MrsDrudge · 11/01/2019 17:52

I was a health visitor for 10 years. I enjoyed building relationships with families on my caseload to help them address or identify their issues and meet their needs and concerns and not impose my opinions. I have to confess some of my colleagues were very self important and opinionated, I was embarrassed by their attitudes and certainly would not have let them into my house.
It’s a difficult and stressful job though especially supporting families with problems and with safeguarding issues.

Marshmallow91 · 11/01/2019 17:54

My personal experience with my HV was fine. I've only met her once a couple weeks ago, because I'm nearing the end of my first pregnancy. She gave me some good advice based on my birth plan and actually put me at ease.

MrsDrudge · 11/01/2019 17:55

And incidentally it’s none of HVs business whether your house is tidy or how you choose to live, as long as family is safe and thriving that’s as far as it would go in my view.

Bewilderedraven · 11/01/2019 17:56

Mine was lovely, but I only saw her a couple of times. She was close to retirement and quite 'old school'

loubluee · 11/01/2019 17:59

I had the same health visitor for both my children and she was lovely. Only came to the house when they had their 2 year assessments etc. The rest of the time I saw her at clinic.

Confusedbeetle · 11/01/2019 18:00

Here is a thing, I didnt get on with my HV and binned her off over 4 children. Then I got a good one. Trained myself 5 years later and loved the job to the end of the earth. Got into professional development and change management and hit a lot of brick walls. In my experience ther are some fabulous professionals who are committed and read all the research and want to empower parents......and then there are the others. say no more. If you are willing to let parents lead, keep up to date with research, and actually listen to what parents want or need, you will absolutely love the job. If you think its a soft option, nanny state, weighing babies, you will find some colleague. It is very much what you make it. However when things go pear shaped you will be challenged. If you get it wrong they will hang you out to dry second only to the poor social worker. You need to ne a professional but you also need to build a relationship with families. There are some fsmilies who can manage quite well than you without a HV, respect that

babycatcher411 · 11/01/2019 18:00

I shouldnt worry too much about what is said on here about HV.
Its the same with many things- generally negative stuff is brought up and the positives are forgotten. We’re not very good as a society at taking about the good in things.

I’m a midwife and if I based my opinion of the profession I am in on peoples opinions/experiences that I often witness on here then I should be very ashamed of the job I’m in. Thankfully, in real life I love the job and the vast majority of colleagues.

CazM2012 · 11/01/2019 18:02

We have had over 10 HV since we had our first almost 7 years ago, all but 1 were awful. She was amazing, a previous peadiatric nurse, great people skills and time to help and understand that not every mom and baby are the same. I was gutted when they moved her

Confusedbeetle · 11/01/2019 18:02

Also what is a bigger challenge, and families are usually unaware of is the public health side of the job, doing something about health inequalities, working with your community, making changes. Some of that is so great you sleep well in your bed

Daffodils07 · 11/01/2019 18:04

My hv is lovely, helped me through pnd and was there to sit in with appointments and meetings for my older disabled child.
Couldn't of got though such a hard time without her support.
I guess it's like any line of work people like you or they don't regardless if your a hv,gp,midwife etc.
One hv I did see when getting my youngest weighed a while back said that she wouldn't worry about my pnd because I was able to go there and put make up on.
Little did she know how bad my pnd was and that being presceived to be perfect was apart of my pnd.

TartedUpYard · 11/01/2019 18:04

My HVs were fabulous. The first one probably saved my life. To cut a long story short, I had severe PND but was so ashamed and didn't admit it to anyone. My HV recognised what was going in and coaxed me to see the GP. She even said she would go in to the appointment with me to give support which is what she did. I was eventually prescribed antidepressants. My second HV was just as incredible. They were a lifeline.

Ninoo25 · 11/01/2019 18:06

I had a fab HV. She had previously been a nurse and then a midwife before becoming a HV. She was great with me as well as DD1 as I had a very traumatic birth and she seemed to know just what to say and do to make things better 😊 She was very helpful and would even ask how we were all doing when I’d bump into her at the shops. She was the type to say, this is the official advice, but if you’ve tried that and it’s not worked maybe try this instead and would ring you a day or so later to follow up. She helped pinpoint an intolerance my daughter had after we’d been fobbed off by the GP for months. She was great. Unfortunately she retired just before my 2nd DD was born. Instead of replacing her they just allocated another HV who already had all her own cases from the next town (30 mins away). I saw her once, I don’t even remember her name and would certainly never bother ringing her for advice like I did with my old HV, but then this is also my 2nd child so maybe that has a lot to do with me feeling like I don’t need her help.

Jimdandy · 11/01/2019 18:12

I’ve seen 2 different ones.

The first one was reasonable, but didn’t have any kids if her own I also felt that was a bit of a waste of time seeing her as I didn’t really gain anything from it and had no concerns so we stopped seeing her with my first. This went down like a lead balloon.

With my second we had minimal contact, I told her I didn’t want to see her at all and she didn’t like it so I agreed to one visit for a weigh in. She said just to contact her when I had any issue. He has upper lip tie, I asked for an appointment she said she’d never heard of it but reluctantly gave me an appointment. I turned up stood outside the Children’s centre that was closed on a freezing cold day waiting, rang, they told me she’d left. I went home she rang me reckoning she was there at 2 minutes past.

I gave up, but then I moved areas and saw another one for the 2 year check. It’s been over a year and I’ve had no further contact since.

Jimdandy · 11/01/2019 18:13

For me personally, Health Bisitors only have value if you’ve got a specific issue or if your are the worrying type that’s obsessed with doing everything “right” other than that I don’t think they add any value and id like to see routine stuff gone and money spent better elsewhere, like on specific mental health funding for new Mum’s.

kaytee87 · 11/01/2019 18:16

I loved DS first HV, she was very nice. Seemed genuinely taken with ds as a newborn (he was/is gorgeous ), told me we had a lovely bond and generally made me feel like I was doing a good job.
We haven't met his new hv yet but she seems lovely on the phone, due his 30 month development check soon.

BlueThesaurusRex · 11/01/2019 18:17

I absolutely adore mine. She is encouraging, non-judgemental and just lovely. Has 4 children herself so has been through it all! She was a calming influence in the early days and got a referral for my son to a dietitian when we suspected Milk allergy; we’d already been fobbed off by a GP.

Good luck!

PleaseLetMummySleep · 11/01/2019 18:17

My HV is great, she's very chatty and friendly. She is knowledgeable about common health conditions in babies, much more so than our GP, and was able to help arrange referrals to 2 consultants for me when my GP didn't know what route to take or who to refer us to or what to prescribe.

PleaseLetMummySleep · 11/01/2019 18:18

(Also milk allergies here)

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