Gosh DS is 24 now. I still carry the scars.
HV turned up when he was 12 days old at 9am no appointment. No apology about potential inconvenience.
10 years younger than me and childless.
Sat and filled out her paperwork. Didn't say congrats or ask how I was. And I wasn't well and had had a terrible time with mw's missing mastitis.
Spoke to me as though I was a dimwit and instructed me to attend clinics and to breastfeed. I asked why I should attend a clinic and she couldn't give an answer.
Came back a week later and was asked about links with immunisation and allergies. Cd only tell me what the leaflet said but able to instruct. Wrote to the immunologist to request he contacted me about my baby's breathing problems. He had no breathing problems. Instructed me to breastfeed again and to attend clinic. Think she also told me my baby was average weight and length because he was on the 50th centile. Er no that's not what 50th centile means.
Instructed me again to go to clinic but couldn't tell me why and didn't comprehend that if it was something she needed me to do but I didn't want to do then I required an appointment if she required me to go.
I went once to a filthy health centre where a brat leaned over the car seat dripping snot. Baby was weighed by an hv with food stains down her frock who got arsy when I pointed out the scales weren't set properly but didn't seem to register that my baby was about to be charted at 7oz less than lsdt time. Properly set he had gained 17oz in 10/12 days.
All the while my nipples were bleeding, I had the second bout of mastitis. I honestly cannot describe the pain and now believe I had thrush of the inner breast tissues.
The NCT only provided feeding advice. I needed permission to stop feeding. I rang her and was told to sit by the fire in a blanket to air my nipples I said that was ridiculous and was told she wasn't an expert and to ring the nct. Expert enough to give instructions though.
I phoned her boss and asked the purpose of an hv. I was told it was to make sure mothers spoke to their children enough for them to develop speech. One might have hoped the boss hv had sufficient intellect to appreciate that didn't apply.
The attitude made me feel a failure completely and I carried on feeding until the breast abscess.
I then launched into pnd due to being a failure and unable to do something that was natural.
At the time the chair of the hv's association was quoted in the press. The role of the hv is to teach ignorant mothers the three C's: cooking, cleaning and communication". All I sensed was resentment that a family might be middle class and with wanted babies because the agenda was to disempower.
I made a formal complaint and got a formal unequivical apology. The trust also hired a lactation consultant to support hv's to support breastfeeding.
I never saw another hv. If I had a concern about the health or development of my children, in my opinion, I needed to consult an appropriately qualified paediatrician rather than a nurse who had elected to work 9-5 away from the hard yards of actual nursing.
No family is obliged to accept the services of hv's although there is an obligation to offer it.
IME it's a job creation scheme for nurses who don't like nursing.
Both my dc are Oxbridge educated as indeed is DH. Needing to monitor whether I talked to my baby enough for speech to develop.
Hope HV's aren't still having a laugh at the expense of new mothers. Would love if the cow who visited could read this and appreciate her enormous impact.