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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why so many have issues with trans

110 replies

Blue09 · 10/01/2019 23:10

Before I start I want to make it clear I’m not trans. I’m asking this as every time I’m on mumsnet there seems to be a post against trans people, more male to female bashing than anything else.

AIBU in asking what the problem is?

I usually consider myself to be an open minded person and I genuinely don’t care what other people choose to do so long as it’s legal but it does make me wonder how many people have actually been born in the wrong body. And a lot of folk on here seem to get very upset about it. Would you mind explaining why it bothers you so much?

OP posts:
indecisivepigeon · 10/01/2019 23:12

Oh god I’m going to get flamed for this but it’s just an observation....

I think it’s because they demand the same rights as woman when they’re not perceived to actually be women?

Let the flaming commence!

EsmesRedPetticoat · 10/01/2019 23:15

Why do you read some of the threads and find out. Generally the issues are being discussed very clearly and articulately by a wide variety of people.

HollowTalk · 10/01/2019 23:17
giftsonthebrain · 10/01/2019 23:18

no amount of clothing/make-up/surgery will make a man a woman or a woman a man.
and the amount of people that are true intersex are not the ones spewing media attention.

MuddlingMackem · 10/01/2019 23:18

There is no problem with trans people, there is however a very big problem with Trans Rights Activists. If you read the threads you'll see why.

PurpleDaisies · 10/01/2019 23:18

the amount of people that are true intersex are not the ones spewing media attention

Trans and intersex are not the same.

sackrifice · 10/01/2019 23:19

Being a woman is not a costume or a thought inside a man's head. Is it?

Polestar50 · 10/01/2019 23:19

OP have you considered, ummm, reading any of them to find out?

I was the same as you about 6 months ago. Flicked through a few threads to find out what all the fuss was about and have had my eyes well and truly opened. Give it a go!

There is one thread called something like 'Break it down for me' which should do the trick. Will see if I can link in a mo.

Thewifipasswordis · 10/01/2019 23:20

My default is not to like the extreme tras as I am not a subcategory of my own gender or sex. I am female and I am a woman.

A woman is an adult human female. This is the end of it really.

Call yourself a toaster or shag a car for all I care but the nerve of some and the entitled attitude is beyond the pale. Anything 'Woke' can fuck off too.

Mumlington · 10/01/2019 23:20

Absolutely not. It's perfectly reasonable to be curious and it's good that your being open minded and wondering why people would have a problem instead of just making judgement without research.

These topics are going to have widely varied opinions and can be sensitive to some people.
I can't answer your question on why people are like this sometimes but maybe you can do some research for yourself.

sackrifice · 10/01/2019 23:21

and I genuinely don’t care what other people choose to do so long as it’s legal

Putting rapists into women's prisons is apparently legal. Is it right though? Do you genuinely not care?

IWantMyHatBack · 10/01/2019 23:21

Nobody has a problem with trans. TRAs are the problem.

Purpleartichoke · 10/01/2019 23:21

People should be as gender non-conforming as they wish. I support them and want laws to protect all free spirits. Doing so makes the world a better place for all of us.

I do not want to share changing or sleeping space with anyone who has a penis that I have not personally vetted and decided is trustworthy. So basically, I’m not going to allow myself to be vulnerable around any adult male who isn’t my husband. I believe a male who wears dresses and makeup might be a fascinating person and perhaps a great friend. We just aren’t going to share a room if we go away for the weekend. Many people believe that makes me transphobic.

userschmoozer · 10/01/2019 23:22

@Blue09
Most trans people make no physical changes, they are not transsexual. They are men who say they feel like women and want to demand access to all women only spaces and services.

Why are you surprised that some women say no to that? Women want and need single sex services and spaces. We don't benefit from making them mixed sex.

Thewifipasswordis · 10/01/2019 23:25

Also Autogynephiles (older men who suddenly cross dress or become 'trans') are not 'women' trapped in mens bodies. They are men that get off on their own 'feminisation'. It is a fetish.

KitsandCaboodles · 10/01/2019 23:26

No people have been born in the wrong body. It isn't possible. The problem is with their mind, not with their bodies. There are a whole host of disorders where the mind rejects the body or part of their body for one reason or another. This is just one of them.

ArcheryAnnie · 10/01/2019 23:26

Saying women don't have penises isn't "bashing". It's just telling the truth.

WonderWoman2019 · 10/01/2019 23:27

Yes, 6 months ago I also didn't get it. I've been an activist for gay rights since 1990s and blinded myself to the issue which is pretty much zero to do with transexuals (many who are equally appalled) and 100% to do with women's safety, respect, dignity, equality and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD existence. Enjoy your journey to the peak...it shall be a faster one than you expect Grin

Polestar50 · 10/01/2019 23:29

Ahhh, I'm on the phone app and can't work out how to link to another thread. Can anyone do a link to 'Break it down for me' in Feminism Chat?
Loads of good info on that one.

Disquieted1 · 10/01/2019 23:30

I think that the vast majority of people just want to live their lives quietly and get on with it. Whether their beliefs or actions are religious, political, or any kind if ism they do their own thing.
The problem is militancy. For some people it's not enough to do their thing, it's essential that everyone else and society generally act in a certain way to accommodate their beliefs or way of life.

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 10/01/2019 23:30

I thought like you OP.

Live and let live

But
The very notion there is such a thing as a female brain is so unbelievable offensive to me.
That every single right women have fought for over the last century can be trumped by trans rights.

That lesbians are transphobic for not wanting a relationship with a male bodied transwoman

Gender stereotyping being actually taught as ‘scientific’ fact to back up trans ideology.

whassupmissus · 10/01/2019 23:32

I never did before recent events. I agree with previous posters - it's a mental condition you can't be a woman just because you think you are one because a woman is a biological thing not a state of mind. That said I have no issue with trans women as long as they describe themselves as such ie a transwoman. When they say they are actual women and women can have a penis and demand access to women's spaces that's when I have an issue.

Nursepolly · 10/01/2019 23:32

I think most people don’t actually care whether someone is trans or not. What gets people’s backs up is the amount of people who want to discuss trans as if they are a weird alien race when actually in the real world not many people give a shit

WonderWoman2019 · 10/01/2019 23:33

Also the "cotton ceiling". Rapey as fuck misogynistic ideologies are par for the course with TRAs. Vile stuff.

VanGoghsDog · 10/01/2019 23:33

Not enough people have a problem with it actually.