To feel sad for the guy in the paternity fraud case

[moanymoaner]

Was watching it on GMB this morning and he was teary , I feel sad for him . I can't imagine finding out when the kids were older that they weren't yours! I get that the boys are standing with their mum but surely they must be feeling cross with her lies :( all such a mess for them :(

"Incidentally, what would you cut or raise taxes on to pay for this policy? Labs aren't free"

Cost of childbirth is approx £1600-1800 per birth on the NHS. Cost of a DNA paternity test is currently £100-200, and would drop dramatically with economies of scale. No significant taxes or cuts would be necessary to fund this, and the value to the men who found out they were mislead by one they loved and trusted would be priceless

Sends an important message to Mother's not to lie to their partners about the paternity of their children.

The son who gave the interview referred to the fact that they originally thought the DNA test request was a tactic to get more money out of their DMum

It also speaks volumes about the kind of person he is that they even thought that.

And that is how he has used the information ultimately.

By the way @Sonneedshelp, a tip on posting on the internet for you. You don't actually need to add an exclamation mark at the end of every sentence. In fact it rather detracts from any point you are making.

You're welcome.

@floribunda18 really!?!

You're avoiding my points completely! You're very poor at debating, you need to practise more!

Google tips!

Why did he feel the need to make it public? What does he gain from it?

I'm guessing he probably didn't have a choice about it coming out. Given his high profile the press would be all over this given half a sniff of it

This is why DNA testing should be mandatory for all births
If DH had asked for this after our DS was born he'd have found himself living at his Mums and paying Child Maintenance so I don't see why the state should get to dictate it

Is it not possible that the kind of person (male of female) who defrauds a child about something as fundamental as their parentage is also the kind of person who could manipulate and poison those children against someone else when push comes to shove ?

I don't think testing needs to be mandatory but it should be clear that defrauding a child or other person re parentage is a criminal offence. And yes I also think denying maintenance should be a criminal offence.

Hold on what kind of place would force women into proving that the man they said was the father was the father - my god that is Handmaid Tale Territory

The percentage of women who deceive men into being a father must be low in terms of overall births

The mother behaved badly - but so did the father. The 3 sons are innocent in all of this and the way they have handled it and who they have sided with is telling

One of the sons is still in contact with him

Horrid for the man, but even more for the boys. He is still their father, it takes more than biology to raise a child, and he raised those boys.

The studies Ive heard quoted suggest about 1 in 50 fathers unknowingly raise a child that isnt theirs. So not that low.

Yes, he raised them but he may not have decided to do so if he'd known the truth and had a choice. That choice was taken from him by his wife's deception.

We dint know anything about this story tbh.
Did the woman know for sure he wasn’t the father but lied to him for all those years?
Is that ever ok to have years long affair?
Was the guy really manipulative or has the mother been brainwashing the child on how awful his father was?
Why would you stay in a relationship AND have a LT relationship with someone else? (I know it’s pretty common actually but still....) Was the money THE reason or something else? Like not disrupting the dcs when they were young, giving them stability etc etc
Is he a twat for asking for his divorce money back or is he simply hurting more than we can imagine?

In effect we have no idea.
But I certainly don’t think she is a saint (we, at least know for sure, she lied to him for years and years and was being unfaithful regularly)

Did the woman know for sure he wasn’t the father but lied to him for all those years?

I don’t think so, not from what I read. I’m not convinced she knew they weren’t his, altho she must have know it was possible. Apparently she said she always used condoms with her off/off relationship. As they look quite like him - there’s nothing obvious to suggest they weren’t his. Maybe she just kidded herself.

It’s not uncommon - 1 in 25 fathers is not the biological parent. But the rest of them either don’t ever discover or don’t make such a fuss when they do.

I heard an interview a little while ago about people having DNA tests done to find out about their ancesterol history. Some people inevitably found out their family wasn’t who they thought it was, and there were awful consequences for them. It must cause a lot of pain.

The poor boys in this case. Their father isn’t their father and their mother has deceived them.

I'm guessing he probably didn't have a choice about it coming out.

He chose to make it public, he has a book coming out and has given another interview saying he will be 'dropping hints' about who the bio Dad is.

See that just shows how "research" needs to be questioned,

@TatianaLarina says 1 in 25 fathers are in the same situation.

@BarbarianMum says 1 in 50 fathers are in the same position.

I personally think both these figures are extremely high, I can't believe either. Although I have no back up for that.

I heard an interview a little while ago about people having DNA tests done to find out about their ancesterol history. Some people inevitably found out their family wasn’t who they thought it was

There was a story on the BBC website recently, wasn"t there?

A friend of mine had some training in forensics. She was told that if DNA samples are needed in criminal investigations, they routinely take samples from both sides of the family, because of how often the father isn't the biological father.

2% is low - you cannot test 100% of people for the 2% that need it

Im not advocating mandatory testing but whether you consider 2% is low depends on your estimation of the potential harm.

I read his story and I read the 'son' story and thought the mother had done a great job at alienating the children from their dad. The only person to blame for this situation is the mother, she is the one who lied and lied and then lied some more, and god knows what lies she told the children about him.

As as for the 'son' saying he still thinks of him as his dad but hasn't spoken to him for 3 years, so no I don't believe he still thinks of him as dad.

I personally think both these figures are extremely high, I can't believe either. Although I have no back up for that

Your backup is common sense. Those figures can only be shaky estimates at best. There would be a massive amount of selection bias with any figures like this.