To feel sad for the guy in the paternity fraud case

[moanymoaner]

Was watching it on GMB this morning and he was teary , I feel sad for him . I can't imagine finding out when the kids were older that they weren't yours! I get that the boys are standing with their mum but surely they must be feeling cross with her lies :( all such a mess for them :(

@floribunda18 and I expect you to actually read the thread if you want to join on a discussion...... it's kinda necessary for that

I have read the entire thread. I found no evidence of minimising her behaviour. I asked the poster who said someone had minimised her actions to point out an example. If you can't get the basics of internet debating, you will really keep getting your arse handed to you.

@floribunda18 did you see my post where one poster said he should be grateful? I've highlighted and tagged you, to save you looking!

What's your view on that?

@floribunda18 did you see my post where one poster said he should be grateful? I've highlighted and tagged you, to save you looking!

What's your view on that?

Come now, that poster was clearly just "adding context".

How intellectually dishonest can you get?

Clutches pearls

@Butchyrestingface of course, that was surely a reasonable response and the silly deceived bastard should be eternally grateful!

I am in shock at anyone trying to justify this woman’s actions

Has anyone done that?

Well, there's this : "He had the chance to be a father to the boys for 20 odd years. He might never have been a father at all otherwise. She was deceitful but he should at least have been grateful he had a family"

Apparently he should be grateful

@SoupDragon I've already highlighted that to @floribunda18 but she just ignores and avoids it! I think she thinks that's how an internet debate goes!

I she thinks she's hand me my arse on a plate!!

She is a liar. Bets on this isn't she only time she has manipulate people. If she gave a shit about her kids she would have misled them about who their father was.

I can bet she would have made sure she knew if the other bloke was a millionaire and her husband was piss poor.

She did this. The rest is consquences of her choices and behaviours

id you see my post where one poster said he should be grateful

That poster acknowledged that the wife was deceitful. S/he didn't minimise the behaviour but commented on his reaction. As I said earlier, I found out my children weren't biologically mine, I could never in a million years turn my back on them, because I love them. I would certainly feel grateful to have had the chance to parent them.

she just ignores and avoids it!

What, for all of two minutes? Other people were making points and I was addressing them. It's not all about you, love.

Saying his should be grateful is minimising her behaviour and it's impact.

It's all good saying what you would do if you kids weren't yours. But if your partner lied to you?

Truth is, you have no clue until you are in that situation.

Sonneedshelp I made that comment and it's been taken out of context. I wasn't excusing the exw, I was suggesting he shouldn't have gone public and dragged his sons into it, throwing away his relationship with them because he was angry with his wife.

@floribunda18 he hasn't turned his back on them, two have turned their back on him and one is still in contact.

He has pursued the deceitful ex-wife who caused all this for some of the divorce settlement to be returned!

Your argument is flawed and blinded by the fact that anyone with a penis is wrong and no woman ever is!

S/he didn't minimise the behaviour but commented on his reaction

Yes she absolutely did minimise it by saying it was deceitful but he really should be grateful that she was deceitful. Basically she did him a favour with her actions.

@Doyoumind to use the term grateful for the situation was wrong, he also is still in contact with one of the boys!

I thought this man was an arsehole when I first read his sad face interview.

I understand why he’s upset but it’s a betrayal of his kids (yes they are his kids - and to them he is the only father they know) to go to the press over it. It must have been very damaging for them to read that he discovered he had ‘no children’. That he only valued them as long as he thought they were blood relations.. It’s not his kids fault their mum cheated on him. His eldest asked him not to take his mum to court and he prioritised money and revenge over his children’s well-being.

The son’s interview was very revealing: it said his father was a highly manipulative man, and not the kind of person you would want to be around, and that he figured this out when he was about 15. That’s why he’s not in touch, not specially the paternity issue.

I’d like to know how this man got to his 50s with cystic fibrosis but no symptoms, way beyond average life expectancy of late 30s. I suspect that he actually has a mutation classed under CFTR gene related disorders.

I am grateful every day I have DC. To have brought up and loved children for 20 years and then decide it's more important to prove a point than to support them through this difficult news is what confuses me.

@floribunda18 it wasn't 2 mins it was 14 minutes, get it right!

I'm not justifying what she did at all, it was a horrible deceit, as I said upthread. But I do question his motives in seeking publicity when the matter had been settled privately, and I don't think he is a particularly sympathetic character either. I agree with other posters (and have said as much earlier) that the wronged parties are the children in this.

it was 14 minutes, get it right

Good grief. 14 minutes to respond to a point on the internet, I shall immediately report myself for daring to take so long to reply.

I'm not justifying what she did at all

You are justifying it when you say things along the lines of "oh, but he got to spend years raising a family, that wasn't fake" or "but he was happy to have unprotected sex with her and consented to have children" (paraphrased). "It was deceitful and appalling but..." is justifying it. Or at least minimising it.

Anyway, he has a penis and is thus clearly a bastard.

I'm female so it'd be harder to deceive me but if someone somehow managed to drug me, produce a newborn and brainwash me into believing me I'd given birth to the baby and I discovered the deception two decades later, grateful is the last thing I'd be, no matter how much I might love the child.

Their relationship sounds like it was pretty distant even before this all came out, so I don't think it's a case of the exH cutting contact simply because the boys weren't his. It was the suing of their DM that caused two of the boys to go NC.

The son who gave the interview referred to the fact that they originally thought the DNA test request was a tactic to get more money out of their DMum- that suggests that this was an acrimonious divorce and "sides" had been taken well before this happened. You don't know what the craic was with contact- once they split up and she got her settlement it's not a massive jump to suppose she mightn't have overly encouraged a relationship knowing that her ex wasn't their father. He had served his purpose by that point.

@famousfour if you're going to make statements get them right!!! Or as you see you'll be challenged! No one is going to bow down to your quotes of no one has minimised, it's two minutes etc!

To have a valid argument you need right or your side! I was merely pointing out you were wrong in your statement!