To feel sad for the guy in the paternity fraud case

[moanymoaner]

Was watching it on GMB this morning and he was teary , I feel sad for him . I can't imagine finding out when the kids were older that they weren't yours! I get that the boys are standing with their mum but surely they must be feeling cross with her lies :( all such a mess for them :(

The fraud case was settled out of court according to the article I read - she paid back £250,000.

He says he wanted to make this public so that the real dad could be found. I don't believe those are his motives. It's the children's decision to find out who their real dad is, and they could have done that privately.

I don't condone what the wife did at all, however for everyone saying that she should be prosecuted for fraud and sent to jail, there are literally thousands upon thousands of men who hide assets with the intent of avoiding paying for their children. Not exactly the same thing, but still dishonest - and people barely bat an eyelid. That's double standards.

That said, he is on his third wife. Not quite the poster boy for a successful relationship.

So that makes it ok? For her to deceive her husband, children and their bio father?

That said,i still think the mother is despicable,those poor children

I am in shock at anyone trying to justify this woman’s actions

Has anyone done that?

Yep page 2. RTFT

I'm female and a regular MNetter, so I haven't 'come here to spout misogynistic bullshit'.

The level of sexist double-standards exhibited by some people on here are is shocking. Accusing people of misogyny when misandry is rife.

It's bad enough trying to get a fair deal in the patriarchy as it is, let alone when brainless eejits are falling over themselves to defend a high-profile example of truly disgusting female behaviour in order to blame the menz.

Oh, you’re one of those.

Don’t think anyone is coming out of this well.

The wife obviously has committed the big fraud. Knowingly or unknowingly (as apparently condoms used with lover). Regardless, obv she was having an affair which is shitty anytime, but when TTC, even worse.
However, at least one of the boys has been NC with the husband for 3 years (prior to the revelations) and described him as manipulative. That is hugely damning.
Plus the boys seem to have all sided with their mother despite (on the face of things) her being the wrong doer. So There is clearly more going on here than a good, sick man being wronged, however it looks in the interviews. Fucked up all round. Poor kids.

Yep page 2. RTFT

Lazy. You can't actually find an example.

I can sympathise how difficult and emotional the situation, however he has 3 children that he wouldn’t have had otherwise. He got to experience, in ignorance, the absolute joy that children bring into lives and to just throw that away is very sad.

@floribunda18 that's hilarious! You want someone to find the example for you, then call them lazy because they've only given you a page number!

I expect someone to actually take the time to find an example of something they brought up as an issue, rather than get me to do it for them, yes.

I am crediting people with being capable of rational debate though. How HILARIOUS of me.

@floribunda18

He had the chance to be a father to the boys for 20 odd years. He might never have been a father at all otherwise. She was deceitful but he should at least have been grateful he had a family instead of throwing at all away in a
vengeful rage.

Here's one poster actually saying he should be grateful to the woman!! Not just saying she's not done something wrong but actually saying she deserves gratitude!

I didn't see it on TV but I have read the articles. From the info I read, it seemed he was wanting 250k back from thee 4 million divorce settlement - perfectly reasonable as she lied to him in my view.

Particularly when there are only two pages in the thread. Shouldn't be that difficult for them. Unless, you know, the point was totally without merit.

Lazy. You can't actually find an example.

There was an example on this page at 14:30:50. Not quite justifying but definitely minimising on the grounds that the husband now being on his third marriage means he's not a poster-boy for matrimony (as if that were somehow relevant!).

@floribunda18 and I expect you to actually read the thread if you want to join on a discussion...... it's kinda necessary for that!

I feel for all of them, I wonder what kind of relationship they had with him in the 10 years after he and their mother divorced.

I still think he should never have gone public and should have protected the 3 boys from all this. They said they were shocked he was going public with it.

The sons seem to think he is doing this for publicity for a new business venture.

This comment "He just wants the attention. He is a big fan of starting a new business. He's known for two years that he's not our real dad so why do all this now? "

Not quite justifying but definitely minimising on the grounds that the husband now being on his third marriage means he's not a poster-boy for matrimony (as if that were somehow relevant!)

Not justifying then, which is what the other poster's point was. Nor, would I say, minimising, but adding context.

From the info I read, it seemed he was wanting 250k back from thee 4 million divorce settlement

And he got it. She settled.

Oh dear, touched a nerve cos she went to page 2 and found she had to eat her own words..... once the insults start you’ve lost the argument tbh sweet cheeks x

Not justifying then, which is what the other poster's point was. Nor, would I say, minimising, but adding context.

Of course it's MINIMISING.

How intellectually dishonest can you get?

He was already a shit dad though. He left them when he and his wife divorced. This is immaterial.

Now DNA testing is available, it should be a criminal offence to defraud.

I know of someone who has been utterly devastated by finding out that she was not the child of her father and that her siblings were half siblings and an not particularly liked family acquaintance was her father.

The children themselves are always the last to be considered.