To feel sad for the guy in the paternity fraud case

[moanymoaner]

Was watching it on GMB this morning and he was teary , I feel sad for him . I can't imagine finding out when the kids were older that they weren't yours! I get that the boys are standing with their mum but surely they must be feeling cross with her lies :( all such a mess for them :(

Pees = press

Can you please quote my “untruths” as you put it. For me occasional text messages to a parent are not the sign of a healthy loving relationship. Just my opinion.

Serious question. What do people want? What do they want to happen to the Mum? Why get so sniffy because people are saying “yes that was terrible what she did but I don’t think he’s handling it all that well with regards to the kids involved”?

You stated they all "wholeheartedly" sided with mother that's not true.

I don't want anything for the mother, but I cannot abide women that hate men based on their gender, he's a cunt? No he's not, he's a really wronged man. She's shown herself to be deeply manipulative, deeply untrustworthy and has probably convinced the boys otherwise. But even though his only crime was to be infertile and nothing has been proved apart from that. It's assumed he is awful because the boys have sided with the mother.... no proof, it would appear that's because he's a man.

If I had to choose between someone who was my biological parent and someone who I thought was but who turned out not to be and by their actions suggested I was less important to them than proving a point I know who I would side with. There doesn't need to be manipulation involved.

I’m sorry you are finding that one word so hard to get past. Let me explain my reasoning for its use. Two have taken their mothers side. The other was in occasional text contact. That does not say he’s not on his mothers side does it? Doesn’t see him now and had no relationship with him for a few years as a young teenager after the split. Says himself that his Dad was a difficult and manipulative man. I think I will stand by my use of that word if you don’t mind

But it was an untrue statement? Made to make your argument stronger?

@Doyoumind your post makes no sense to me, sorry just cannot grasp what you're saying.

The woman was the mother of all deceit, she had one child then continued the affair had twins, all the congratulations and joy she experienced and let the husband enjoy.....all lies, can you not imagine the devastation or being deceived to that extreme extent. I surprised he's not had a breakdown to be honest.

That poor man and the boys, she really was done kind of awful. Why didn't she just leave? Was it lifestyle, I think it probably was. She put money ahead of living an honest life.

Was it lifestyle, I think it probably was. She put money ahead of living an honest life.

How do you know this? Has there been an interview with the mother I haven’t seen?

What other explanation would you suggest? But of course is all right to jump to conclusions about the husband..... misandry at its finest. Point proved.

Why is speculation as to the mothers motives worse or any less stupid than the speculation about him being potentially abusive?

Oh I wouldn’t suggest any other explanation seeing as I haven’t read any interview with her so wouldn’t have the information to make such a strenuous claim. I was just interested in your use of such a factual statement there. When you can’t possibly know.

Sad case for the dad and the kids. Very hard to feel any sympathy for the woman, she knew what she was doing. The kids will side with their mom as they don't want to lose yet another parent. They haven't got much choice. In some ways it also confirms that biology is stronger than nurture.

@easyandy101 it proved my point exactly ..... I can't speculate about the woman but it's ok to speculate about the man.

To me the woman was wrong and I'm wondering what made her live such a vile life changing deceitful life, trying to make some sense of why a Hunan would go to such extreme lengths and wondering what she achieved from it?

It isn’t easyandy. I was just tackled about my supposed speculation by a person who did exactly the same in their next post, perhaps more so seeing as we’ve heard nothing from the mother so have no information to go on apart from third parties. Just pointing out the irony.

@CarolDanvers I believe I put I wonder and that I thought it could be lifestyle? Didn't put she wholeheartedly did it for lifestyle.

Lots of posters on the thread below thought it best not to tell the husband if a woman had an affair. Well over 50%. Nice husband according to the OP but a man is a man according to other posters and it is in his best interest to be lied to.

If you slept with someone else and completely regret it, would you tell your husband?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3460661-if-you-slept-with-someone-else-and-completely-regret-it-would-you-tell-your-husband

“She put money ahead of living an honest life.”

That’s a statement.

Mine is clearly speculation and that's clear from my post, you hate him and have to blame him because he's a man..... that's clear from your posts.

You're entitled to your opinions but as a wife to a good man a d mother to two sons I detest this all men are bad nonsense.

That’s a statement.

It’s an incontrovertibly true statement.

you hate him and have to blame him because he's a man

More statements and speculation. Hilarious from someone who had such a problem with others doing it

@CarolDanvers I've deduced that what the misandry displayed in your posts....

And you are perfectly entitled to your opinion. I’m just addressing you trying to tell me off for speculating when you’ve repeatedly done the same yourself.

By all accounts she strongly dislikes him, is antagonistic towards him and has made several attempts to increase the money she could extract from him. Her children have little to no relationship with him. Despite knowing he might not be the father. Money at least has to be a large factor in her decision given that she has made several attempts to maximise it without ever being honest about the paternity being doubtful.

Wha

You're misandry is so clear.... I'm not telling you off, I'm not your mother but nor would I let anyone be bullied, slates, lies about no matter what their sex, creed or colour. If it were the other way round I would be equally sympathetic to the woman.

CarolDanvers

I think that the removal of £250, 000 is ok (as does the man ionvolved in this). I wouldn't want to see her destitute but I think also think that a public apology and the naming of the bio father wouldn't go amiss.

But my point is that you and others seem to think that this is all his fault when it clearly isn't.