To feel sad for the guy in the paternity fraud case

[moanymoaner]

Was watching it on GMB this morning and he was teary , I feel sad for him . I can't imagine finding out when the kids were older that they weren't yours! I get that the boys are standing with their mum but surely they must be feeling cross with her lies :( all such a mess for them :(

I don't think either of the parents have handled this well tbh, but going to the press/media hasn't given his sons much of a chance to keep it quiet which is the bit that bothers me most.

But it was a decision in open court, that would've been picked up by the media anyway. Surely he's better putting forward his side of events, than staying silent and letting the Mail etc. rip him to shreds?

That’s another reason not to use moneysupermarket

That’s another reason not to use moneysupermarket

Eh?

It wasn't a court decision, it was an out of court settlement.

Exactly, thedancing.

But it was a decision in open court, that would've been picked up by the media anyway

The vast majority of court decisions pass entirely unnoticed by the press. They’re generally only picked up if the litigant is famous or the case is a serious crime.

This is neither.

They’re generally only picked up if the litigant is famous

He owns moneysupermarket.com. He's a public figure.

Hasn't she also defrauded their real father out of a relationship with them, and being able to watch them grow up and be part of their lives

I make it at least five people she's lied to about this, then add any other family on top and various institutions. It's a long list of dishonesty.

One of the vital points, for me, is that the three sons have no idea of their bio father's medical status, so when seeing a doctor they have been giving the wrong background information to medics. For all they know the bio father could have genetic problems, a history of heart problems etc etc.

It's an incredible gamble for a mother to take with regards to the health of three children.

He’s not a public figure, he’s a man who made some money with a website.

And it wasn't a court decision, it was an out of court settlement, which are usually confidential

Agree with dancingbear. He is NOT their father and she has deceived several people. How can he be made out to be the baddie. He had no chance to make a decision about bringing up these children who were not his. Very shocked at the response that he should be grateful to have the chance to have a family

It is such an open-and-shut case that I don't think he's gained much by giving his side of the story though. The facts speak for themselves.

He was in a difficult position - I can absolutely see why he'd want to get some money back, even as a gesture to show/prove that his wife was wrong. But in similar cases the children have always been hurt when a father seems to be looking at the money angle (even if it's not about the money and more about an admission of fraudulent behaviour) and the children have fallen out with the father rather than the mother who is actually responsible for the mess in the first place!

It's not fair by any means, but I've seen it happen before in the media. It is dreadful for the children, especially in this case where it does seem to be a deliberate deception by the mother. I can't imagine what it feels like to find out one of your parents isn't actually your parent and that the other one has lied to everyone for your entire life.

Did she deceive anyone other than her adultery? She says she used a condom and didn't know her husband with whom she presumably did not coud not have children.

The mother gave them very specific middle names though, didn't she?

Agree that there are some people who would still support the mother and would be saying LTB

Hard to imagine how should could have been so effective at conceiving if she always used a condom with the other man/men. At that rate of unobserved and unexpected failure it's a miracle anyone bothers to use them.

Should=she

I should be shocked at some of the feminist misandric postings on this thread, but I am not.
This deceitful lying money grabbing women has taken all that this man loved most in his life, trashed his future, destroyed those poor children's
Lives, and been rubbished on mumsnet.
Women try to portray themselves as the better of the sexes, clearly these comments say the opposite.

The press wete going to run that story ..fact he did damage limitation
It was just an unforgivable thing for the wife to do words cant describe how it must feel for everyone involved
Its double standards to say his vile,evil,a twat .i cant imagine this happening to myself family or friends

@Vicky1990

I don't think you know what opposite means.

Umm. Preparing to be shot down here but I really don't get how this is 'fraud''. If this guy has only recently found out about his infertility then how can his then wife have known they children weren't his? She clearly had an affair so there was always the possibility that they weren't his, but 'fraud' implies a deliberate act on her part. And I really really don't get the poster who thinks she should do time -for what? Having sex outside of marriage. Or for staying with her rich husband despite an affair?

the children have fallen out with the father rather than the mother who is actually responsible for the mess in the first place!

Except HE'S NOT THEIR FUCKING DAD, IS HE.

Jesus fucking christ.

If she (a) knew that the kids were not his and (b) pursued a divorce settlement on the basis that they were, then yes, that would potentially meet the criminal test for fraud.

(a) would be very difficult to prove to the criminal standard so I imagine a successful prosecution would be basically impossible.

@thedancingbear I agree with you.

According to many on here, fuck who you like, get pregnant, lie to your DH and your DC, get found out and blame it all on your exDH.

Parallel universe.

She knew they weren't his