To feel sad for the guy in the paternity fraud case

[moanymoaner]

Was watching it on GMB this morning and he was teary , I feel sad for him . I can't imagine finding out when the kids were older that they weren't yours! I get that the boys are standing with their mum but surely they must be feeling cross with her lies :( all such a mess for them :(

DH and I have discussed this, my DS1 has CF and emotionally is quite naive, if he ever came home saying he'd gotten a girl pregnant I'd be gently encouraging him to ask for a DNA test.
I know a few men with the disease who have found themselves with pregnant partners and they're never the father.

If this guy has only recently found out about his infertility then how can his then wife have known they children weren't his?

She didn't know for sure until that point but she must've understood it was possible.

According to the guy she continued to claim they were his even after the DNA tests proved otherwise - which is the bit he's taken exception to.

The point at which he found he was infertile might have been a good time to at least mention the possibility of them not being his.

According to his account he said at the time of conception that it seemed a little odd they seemed to conceive in such a random way bit she claimed it was due to the shape of her womb making it hard to conceive and asked him if he was accusing her of infidelity - which he said he did not.

The "Dad" in this case was apparently unaware he had CF for long time.

This deceitful lying money grabbing women has taken all that this man loved most in his life, trashed his future, destroyed those poor children's

He appears to have chosen to trash his relationship with those kids all by himself.

I don't think she was in the right to begin with. I think he's behaved equally appallingly. He has held the role of 'father' for those kids for their entire lives. Anyone who can turn around and publicly renounce them 13, 14, 15 years later is not someone I have a lot of respect for.

Can’t believe the people on this thread saying she didn’t know the kids weren’t his. She knew they might not be. I can categorically say my daughter’s father is my husband because I haven’t been shagging round behind his back. Terrible behaviour on her part then, and while I understand his upset, terrible behaviour by him now.

No he sounds hideous. It’s very me me me, he raised the boys. If he loved them, really loved them as a dad he still would love them as a dad regardless. Yes the mother did an terrible thing but he is saying things like my mother is not a grandmother etc and seems only to care about the money and his own pride.
Poor kids.

I think I can understand him being upset about the deceit - that's not any more me me me than her shagging another man is it?

His main issue seems to be her refusal to own her actual actions.

The eldest son does look like him.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/01/10/richard-mason-paternity-row-son-breaks-silence-claim-millionaire/

Quite a few people on this thread seem to be enacting the "everything before the but" is horseshit"

The eldest son does look like him.

And your point is?

The eldest son does look like him.

Your point is what? My DSD looks like me. I am not her biological mother.

The dad isn't saying he doesn't love them though.

And he has offered up a lump sum to find their bio dad which I would imagine will help the kids in some way.

Why shouldn't he get money back, she was Happy to take it. If he's known back then he may not have stayed with her and no one would have judged him for leaving.

The dad isn't saying he doesn't love them though

"I want my money back" is saying that though. Especially since he is rich and doesn't need the money back (as in he isn't homeless or hungry). I am in no way saying the mother is in the right here. It just really really sucks for the children.

@Butteredghost he may want SOME of his money back and as you say he's not hungry or homeless, but similarly his ex does not need a seven bedroom mansion in Uttoxetter. The £250k he wants will not leave her homeless or hungry. It also will not impact on the children unless she makes it.

Thesmallthings I read he'd offered £5k to find the bio father. This guy is a millionaire. What does that gesture say?

@Doyoumind not sure why he's offering anything! Why does this wife just tell her children.... she could do that for £0 says a lot about her!!! It's her duty to tell the children, not his to find the father(s).

Maybe it's saying I'm prepared to give money to the man that my wife was having an affair with rather than hiring a hit squad because I think that it is important for my kids to know who their genetic father is. I'm also not asking for the years of missing maintenance.

He said himself he was doing it to help his sons but £5k isn't much of an investment to help them. As I said earlier, it's possible the exw is protecting the identity because he has a family of his own and we don't know how much she's really told her sons anyway. She probably just doesn't want him to know.

Presumably though there must be at least one man now thinking it could be him so her "not wanting him to know" has long since sailed.

If I was married for 20 years and the only times I got pregnant was when I was screwing around with someone else I would be pretty sure the father was not my husband.

I mean she doesn't want mr monesupermarket to know.

I feel very sorry for him, very sorry, but I do feel that taking it public isn’t going to help him with the boys. I say boys because he isn’t acting very much like they are his sons at the moment in making this so public.

However, I’m sure I read that his ex had 4 million in the divorce payout for the kids to go to private school, and that her house is now bigger than his despite the kids being grown up. That is not fair.

So many of us struggle to get our exes to pay any child support, yet this man paid 4 million to his ex, for children that turned out not to be his.

And I can’t believe for one minute she didn’t know her husband wasn’t her children’s father, also can’t quite believe the eldest and twins have the same father. The eldest looks dissimilar to the twins.

@Doyoumind so because she does want him to know, then her children can't know their father.

Yes he may be married, but his wife and family have a right to know!

We really know nothing about this man and the divorce. He could have had countless affairs for all we know. He could have been a terrible husband and father. It's quite possible the mother wasn't completely certain he wasn't the father until he confirmed he couldn't be.

Ah. So it’s okay for women to lie to her partner and children for decades because he might have had an affair and possibly she wasn’t entirely certain they weren’t his kids. Ok. Rightio.

he abandoned his children over genetics

He hasn’t abandoned them. He has been quite clear that he still wants a relationship with them. It’s the sons who have cut him off.

@Quartz2208 they stopped speaking to him after they threatened to if he sued their mum , but he did sue her , for £250,000 of the 4 million he had actually paid

Actually if you read the boys stories it seems that their relationship had broken down long before then. The mother had clearly done a right number on them. When he initially brought the subject up it appears the sons made all sorts of nasty allegations about the father attempting to defraud their mother (mother of course didn’t see the need to enlighten them that it was true).