AIBU to think that most women over 35..

[thinkingaboutmyage]

Are a size 10 or above?

My friend has suggested that my new year resolution should be to slim down and tone my body - st first I was offended, but I actually think she was genuinely trying to be helpful or perhaps, motivational?

She’s a size 6 having focused on exercise/diet last year and lost 2 stone! I’m a size 10 and eat whatever I like she thinks that once I’m 40 it’ll be hard to maintain my weight unless I join her as a fitness fanatic

AIBU to think that most of us over-35s are a size 10 or above though. She’s the exception not the norm - her lifestyle seems tedious as she lives at the gym.

Problem is when you get older not only does your metabolism slow down but you get other things go wrong such as arthritis, injuries etc. I used to run a few miles a day, ride my bike 10 miles and ride a horse daily. I could eat what I wanted and weighed between 110 -115 lbs. After a life changing accident I got fat.

OP- But what height are you both, a size 10 at 5ft is hugely different to a size 10 at 5ft 10"?????

It's such a boring topic. Yawwwwn. Be what you are.

Same-ish height, 5’6-7

She did mostly talk about sculpting, and I can see that she’s worked hard on her arms and tummy. It does look great - I’d i had a magic wand, I’d definitely do the same, but living at the gym doesn’t appeal at all

Used to be a size 6-8 depending on shop, started changing shape aged 32 and now at 35 I’m a size 10-12. Still the same weight as I’ve been for 10+ years though.

Who gives a shit. life is short. eat what you want and be happy with your body x

(i am a 10 and 5'2 and sure maybe an 8 is better for my height BUT WHO CARES)

I think she's right in some ways but doesn't sound especially nice! You do generally gain weight more easily as you age and after babies etc. I think if you want to maintain a slim physique you will have to work at it harder as you get older. I was never above a size 10 until I turned 32 and didn't really have to work at it at all. I've done very little exercise but gained 2 stone and I'm now almost 35 and in between a 10 and a 12 and honestly...pretty devastated. I know if I don't get more active, I'll only gain more. I don't look right at a 12 and am clinically overweight. I don't think a size 10 is tiny, I think its generally a normal, healthy but not super slim weight. I agree that we've normalised being fat in this country but I'd rather not be "the UK average" because I really don't think its at all healthy. I hope to lose that 2 stone this year, have already lost 6lbs through getting a little more active.

Bottom line though, it's what you are happy with looking like. She can mind her own!

Apparently women need 200 calories fewer a day after menopause.

Dress size means nothing. Are you within normal range for BMI? Is your waist to hip ratio within normal range? Do you do some form of exercise regularly?
If you can answer yes to the above then you’re perfectly fit and healthy and don’t need to even consider if you should be losing weight or going more exercise. Body sculpting has nothing to do with fitness and health.

I'm 37 and a size 8/10 but really could do with toning up a bit after having two kids. But I'm lazy and I like my food 😊

I didn't think size 10 was that big tbh.

I just googled it (I'm a bloke) and wouldn't say most of examples start to look plump until a 16 (and still not necessarily fat, in many cases quite curvy).

Of course body composition and height make a big difference.

I do think you reach a stage too where losing weight can age you in the face.

I know someone who dropped two dress sizes at 45 and she did look older afterwards

One of my best mates is an 8 and she's pretty small. She's a gym fanatic.

I think she's rude to imply you should lose weight BUT since turning 40 I do have to eat less/exercise more or I would definitely put on weight. Unfortunately it feels more of an effort because I also feel more tired as I get older.

It depends on the individual too. My DSIS has never been fat and she’s always eaten crap and doesnt do any exercise. She’s over 40 and as thin as she’s ever been. I on the other hand have to work really hard not to gain weight and am fitter (but fatter) than her because I do actual exercise and don’t smoke.

46 and size 4-6. Petite, very slight built. And I do sports and take stairs instead of an elevator and prefer to take a longer route when going somewhere to keep the body in shape a bit as the gravity is taking over.

Most of the women I know who are late 30s/early 40s are overweight, yes. I have one friend who is very slim but exercises loads and barely eats (her idea of lunch is an apple.)

I'm 38 and size 18. The smallest I've ever been is size 14, and that was in my early 20s. Realistically I'm never going to be a size 10. I'd kill to be a 14 again though!

I'm 6ft, the last time I was a size 10 i was 12 years old. I lift weights in the gym and I'm happy with my size and shape

I find it endlessly boring that women talk about their size so much, and to bring age into it. Really? Out of observation sit with a group of women daily ( I do due to work) and at some point weight/food will be mentioned and detailed. I mean detailed, calories, guilt, diet groups etc etc. Now men do not do this this, they don't, so obviously women are always measuring their weight and other womens" too. Throw away the scales, you know if your clothes don't fit, and you/we/I know how to fix it or become thinner or whatever the desired. It is just oppressive and depressing and suggesting a size 10 is desirable or age related does not help anyone.

I am 47 , I am tempted to eat your friend as I am ravenous waiting for DH to get back from work so I can feed us both the bloody amazing stew and dumplings I have made.

On reflection though that I would need to marinate said friend for at least 48hrs to tenderise her and I would get bored and eat my own bodyweight in crunchynut cornflakes straight out of the packet , whilst eying up the post Christmas cheese mountain

You are fine at a size 10, if your friend needs to validate her existence by being as tiny as possible, that's her challenge, not yours

Haven't RTFT - am sure i'm by no means the first to say this - "dress size" is ridiculous in the UK and means nothing when you can be an 8 in one major retailer and a 14 in another.

Getting into late 30s I noticed that nothing had changed about my lifestyle but that I had to start actually thinking about food and booze intake as I was developing a "ring of fire" i.e. fat round my stomach.

Not particularly nice aesthetically but really not the end of the world on that score either - but health priorities outweigh vanity ones at this stage and the ring of fire is not good.

I really hate the obsession with dress sizes when discussing healthy weights. As others have said, not only has there been vanity sizing over the years, but current sizes aren't even comparable across different brands. And that's before anyone takes height into account - there's no way that someone who is 5'0 is going to be the same dress size as someone who is 6'3 if both are a healthy weight. Yet time and again people go on about dress sizes to justify whether they're the right size or not

That said, your unsubtle friend does have a point about weight being harder to keep off as people get older but that's usually connected to various lifestyle factors. I remember with amusement both me and DH being told we'd get fat when we hit 30 by other guests at a relative's birthday party (we were mid 20s at the time) - most of those saying that had beer guts (or equivalent) and did zero exercise... we drink very little and are pretty sporty - and are roughly the same size now that we're late 30s!

It's a lifestyle choice, but it's also up to you. If you're not that bothered about it then that's absolutely fine. As I've got older and wiser I've come to the conclusion that usually when people pass comment on other people's choices in life (whatever those are), it's so they can feel justified in their own actions/choices!

Tell your friend to have a chat with women over 50.

We don't all look like we should be on the cover of Women's Own.

How does she know that women over 40 may struggle to shift weight?