AIBU to think that most women over 35..

[thinkingaboutmyage]

Are a size 10 or above?

My friend has suggested that my new year resolution should be to slim down and tone my body - st first I was offended, but I actually think she was genuinely trying to be helpful or perhaps, motivational?

She’s a size 6 having focused on exercise/diet last year and lost 2 stone! I’m a size 10 and eat whatever I like she thinks that once I’m 40 it’ll be hard to maintain my weight unless I join her as a fitness fanatic

AIBU to think that most of us over-35s are a size 10 or above though. She’s the exception not the norm - her lifestyle seems tedious as she lives at the gym.

Think I must be the fattest one here. 16-18 at the moment. Age 45. It’s a bummer after 30 never mind 35/40. I’m trying to lose through 3 meals a day, no snacks, limited treats, buts it’s hard! I’m 5.3 with a small frame but I actually feel my best at a size 14 so that’s my aim; my face tends to look drawn any smaller than that. Just as well really, as I think I was last a size 10 in my early 20s.

Is she worried about your health? I have overweight friends who I genuinely worry about. As I get older and learn about various friends getting cancers and health problems requiring surgery or ongoing treatment, I worry that other friends aren’t doing enough to look after themselves. I think about how awful it would be to see good friends suffer or even die because they smoke, drink or eat to excess. But I don’t have the courage to bring it up because I don’t want to upset them.

Or maybe she wants companionship and support for her health and fitness quest and wants to find a way to persuade you?

Clothing sizes shouldn’t be a measure of a person’s health, but speaking with your GP to find out whether you are at a healthy weight based on your height, body mass index, lifestyle and activity levels might be a more productive way of judging. Metabolism does slow as we age. It is harder to shift weight and change eating habits as time goes on because eating and activity patterns become more entrenched over time.

And it seems that low carb diets might be a dangerous fad after going by reports in today's news...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46827426

Oh gosh Marylin, we are in the same boat, when I met DH 20 years ago, he was waist 32 slim, and exercises regularly. But over the years has got into bad habits, especially once DC came along. The motivation to exercise went, and working long hours in a sedentary job(softwear engineer(. I tell him to come to the Dojo with me, or go for a walk, but to no avail.

I am learning to drive, so really walk everywhere, whereas he can hop in the car to go places. I am afraid of him having a heart attack and passing away. I told him that. Yes round the stomach is near to the heart😖😖😖

There is so many factors affecting size, not just how much you eat. So many women beating themselves up over something that is beyond their control. The doctor on the Lies Behind Dieting, just said eat a well balanced diet, portions fist sized. That is all you need. Not to try the fad diets and get obsessed by it.

Surely striving to get thinner as you get older makes you a candidate for osteoporosis?

I am a size 8 and have been a size 6 but no one has ever referred to me as tiny because I’m not. I’m 5’4’’ and slimmish not skinny.

I’ve never thought about the size of women around me but I have lots of slim friends and colleagues and some overweight. Most I suppose would be size 10 or above.

Exactly Marylin that is how I do it. I don't buy junk, cook healthy meals from scratch, and reduce what he eats. He doesn't eat out thank goodness, it is working, he is looking a bit slimmer😁😁

Fine I'm going to bite and send a picture prepping self for negative feedback. As there seems to be a lot of negativity on this thread about over 35's and their perception of their bodies.

Obviously I'm gaunt and look like a gargoyle according to previous posters and I must be in denial as I'm 39 next month, 5,5 and a size 6-8!

No, I don't starve nor gym for 24 hours a day, I train 3 times a week and eat substantially and well. I have a fast metabolism due to building lean muscle over the years which in turn speeds up the metabolic rate and slows down muscle loss.

I'm happy and comfortable with how I look and feel great.

What is it with women needing to compare each other's bodies anyway? Ever heard a man do that?
Everyone is different, as is every set of clothes sizes.

Timmytoo, you look great😁

I’m early 40s and have fluctuated between top of size 14 to lower end of size 20 in the past few years. Currently lower end of size 18 and working to get back to the lighter end again.

And smallest of my family (all over 35) - I’d say the others are all well into the 20s sizes.

@Greensmurf, although I totally get what you're saying, but are you saying that slim/thin people are always healthy and never get cancer? That's just absurd. Weight has nothing to do with health. I know a ton of thin people who aren't very healthy. I'm normal weight by the way so really not defending being overweight.

Just because the average woman is size 16 or whatever, doesn't make it healthy or right. Set your own standards, don't just lower yourself to other people's.

Height does need to be taken into account -
size 6 would be healthy for short women but probably too thin for tall women.

And friends, however well meaning, should be careful not to overstep boundaries when giving advice about health and weight.

I'm 35 and a size 8. But my promise to myself turning 35 was that I was going to get skinny, properly, and have some time enjoying it before the menopause hits! For me, it takes a lot of hard work, I diet/watch what I eat, I exercise daily (running) and I generally have dedicate myself to achieving that goal. I anticipate that if I want to remain this size I will need to continue to eat and exercise in this way, else I will just put it all back on (I have lost 3 stones)

She's showing off. Also she might be too body-conscious. Size 6 sounds far too small unless she's under 4ft. Well 4ft6ins maybe... Anyway, she sounds borderline anorexic.
Stay healthy! Eat a balanced diet and get a reasonable amount of exercise, if possible in the open air. And have friends whose interests lie in doing constructive things which do not make you feel self-conscious, or worse, lower your self-esteem.
BTW, I'm old now, but in my 40s I had no trouble keeping a good figure and decent weight and was a a very active size 12-14 and happy about it.

Timmytoo. Wow! You have revised my idea of a size 6! You look great! Really healthy. Dare I say, like I was in my 30s. Have sizes changed over the years? I have found some huge differences between different garment suppliers, but am sure I was about a 10 when I looked like you. I'm a 5ft6in

Pic of my arm. Size 6-8. Skinny? Really?

Timmytoo you look amazing by the way

Juells. Exactly! I'm sure that's true! Manufacturers will do anything to sell a product!
I have a large bust which I really hated from my teens onwards until around 40 I decided I might as well put up with it! But it means I'm at least one size bigger on the top than the bottom and actually have a small bum.
Ah well - it takes all sorts.... I maintain being healthy is the thing. Having enough energy and not carrying extra rolls of fat. We used to notice if people had very protrusively bony bodies and ask the "anorexia" questions when I began as a Psychologist years ago. It didn't always follow and we always looked into medical reasons first. But seeing bones sticking out on a person, especially a young one, still makes me anxious.

Wow thanks @Aeroflotgirl and @sizzledrizz for your kind words. Was expecting a flaming . Your biceps look great Sizzle, well done!

I’m 36 and size 6-8. Any weight I gain sits straight on my belly and doesn’t look good. My clothes were feeling tight after Christmas, so I’d like to get a few more pounds off, and get back to my fighting weight (around 7 1/2 stone at 5 foot 3).