To think this is one of the most painful things you can do.

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Stub your toe. Stubbed little toe earlier on the table leg. Of course no shoes or slippers on to cushion the blow. Air very quickly turned blue followed by toe turning a lovely shade of bluey/purple. Nice 9 hour shift later and it is bloody agony.

sometimes my iris swells up,

Ouch :(

@Room101isWhereIUsedtoLive because local anaesthesia only numbs the surface of your skin. Underlying organs are still very much alert to pain. I was pregnant so they didn't want to do it under GA and my kidney was in danger of exploding so they had to do it fast!!

I ruptured my Achilles, which was painful enough, but the worst part was three nurses leaning over me trying to push it back into place. It just wouldn't go. My DH had to leave the room before he fainted or was sick.
I've been wincing and chuckling at so many of these. How do you shut your ear in a car door???

@delboysskinandblister yup got popeye to pop around with some x

The cast being a bit loose resulted in fracture blisters which then decided to ulcerate, those were "interesting" as well as I was in a cast for 5 months in total.

Ouch! I had an ulcerated blister on my heel when my leg was plastered after an ACL rupture and partially dislocate kneecap and it really hurt.

I'd rather go through that again than have a repetition of 2 broken ribs though. They even hurt when I farted - who knew that your ribs move when you fart?. The doctor refused to give me pain relief, because it suppresses your respiration and can lead to pneumonia. I told him I didn't care and that I'd happily have euthanasia if it would stop the bloody pain. Thankfully, a friend called the out of hours doctor, who came round and prescribed 80mg of codeine and diazepam, because all my muscles had gone into spasm.

I'd rather dislocate both knees and dance barefoot on plugs and Lego than break another rib.

Oh and my Dad cut his thumb off with an electric saw

Aaaaghhh!

My mate fell down the stairs, tried to grab the handrail and caught his little finger. As he fell, he pulled his little finger off - it stuck between the banister and the handrail, from where his wife (a nurse) retrieved it, wrapped it in a tea towel, then then put the whole lot into a bag of ice while on the phone to the ambulance service.

The ungrateful fucker didn't even want it reattached, and she'd gone to all that trouble ...

I give you stubbed toe and raise you opening a fold out pram and accidentally getting your hand trapped where the pram clicks into place when upright. Sheer and utter agony. Could not get said hand out as it's bloody impossible to collapse a pram one handed.

^

Fuck. Me. Sideways.

This never occurred to me.

I accidentally burnt my eyeball with the lighted end of a cigarette 

I managed to stub my second toe (it's longer than my big toe), on the cat!
She was lying on the landing and I didn't notice her in the dark. Now three days later I have a purple/black toe.

My DH once was playing hide and seek and opened a door on his toe really quickly and ripped his toenail off

Cramp so bad my calf muscle ripped apart! (This is so obvious to anyone who knows me who I am!). Three months + of foot to thigh cast, knee high cast then special boot! Good lord it was painful! Even heard it 'pop' 🤢

My DH insists that his experience being nipped in his scrotum by a boisterous terrier trumps everybody else's pain.

Dog walker with yappy dog off leash. Dog ran up, jumping at DH, and, to cut a long story short, bit him - the dog walker was protesting that he was friendly and would never harm him as the blood was showing through his stone-coloured trousers (mentioning that to indicate that the blood was plainly visible).

Oh and a dart right through my thumb (nail and all!), that was rather painful, but nowhere near the pain of torn calf muscle!

@flameycakes

Cyclo diode lazar treatment. You hear your eyeball go pop, and the pain afterwards. I have never been in so much pain in all my life, and that includes child birth And having said eye removed after the lazar failed.

You also don’t want glaucoma, which was what necessitated the laser and eye removal. It’s like having a ball of fire in your eye socket, while being stabbed in the eye with a spike, accompanied by the worst headache you’ve ever had that goes from your top jaw, around your temples, all round the top of your head and to the other side. Oh yeah and flu like symptoms.

Or pinching that fleshy bit of your hand below your little finger in the wardrobe door.

Having a 16 hand horse tread on your toes whilst wearing flip flops.

uhtredsonofuhtred
I accidentally burnt my eyeball with the lighted end of a cigarette

Oh my god. 

@Juells oh my god indeed  thought I was blind and the pain was something else! Still makes me go queasy every time I think about it especially since I have a thing about eyeballs 🤢

Dry socket. I'd rather give birth.

You only realise when you bash into something how forcefully you move :( I'm forever bashing my knuckles or arms or hips off things. My daughter gave herself a concussion feeding hens 😂 She was swinging a bag of feed through the low door of the hen-house and forgot to let go of the bag, bashed her head against the lintel. I knocked myself out once by bending over to pick something off the floor, and bashing my forehead on a steel saddle rack that was fixed to the wall at waist height. Neither of us should be let out on our own 😂

I'd give birth 100 times over rather than stub my toe, tread on Lego or get the top or my head with a cupboard. At least there is has and air in labour 😂😂

Having mastitis and your baby suckling on you to help relieve the pain! Ouch!

Best thread to date :)

Putting a garden fork through your foot while digging. Really through, i.e. with exit wound. It is possible....

Having your cervix manually dilated without pain relief. Rather shoot myself.