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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be convinced they think I'm a thief

121 replies

Bagofworries · 06/01/2019 19:32

Went shopping yesterday. Same shop as always. Self scan as usual.
Dh picks up some oil for his work van and nips through the self service checkout.
He plonked the oil in my trolley and went off to browse at some tools. I carried on.
Got to the checkout and dh hadn't appeared yet. Got stopped for a random check.
Assistant picked the oil up and I told her that dh had already paid for that at the self service tills. I had watched him.
Assistant asked me if i had the receipt. I didnt. She asked which till was it. Was it the only item that was purchased. Did he use a Clubcard?
I honestly didn't know the answers. I couldn't see DH anywhere at this point.
Assistant called over supervisor who said they could check the tills if I knew which one he had gone through. I didn't.
At this point, I began to sweat profusely and began panicking that they thought I had attempted to steal the oil.
I told the supervisor that in light of not being able to produce a receipt, I would pay for the item again, because at this point, I just wanted to get away from the customers all looking at me and get out of the store.
I was looking all around me for DH but he was nowhere to be seen. I was absolutely mortified.
I insisted on paying again. I didn't much care about the money at this point. I was sweating so much.
The supervisor offered to speak to the store manager about it, but all I could focus on was that I didn't have a bloody receipt.
I just kept insisting I was happy to pay for it again, and the supervisor said if I was happy to do so, that was fine.
He watched me pay for the bloody oil and I left the store to find DH back at the car waiting for me.
He offered to go back into the store but by this point I didn't care about the money, I just wanted to go home.
We had planned to go for lunch straight after but I lost my appetite.
I have shopped here for years with no problems at all. Now I feel like I never want to set foot in the store again!!
I am not blaming the staff at all. It was my and dh mistake completely.
But AIBU to never want to set foot in there again because I am convinced they believe i attempted to steal the oil and never ever let dh come shopping anywhere with me again?

OP posts:

7yo7yo · 06/01/2019 19:34

Why the hell would you pay for it again?? And why would your idiot of a husband wait outside?? Go back and sort it out!

blaaake · 06/01/2019 19:36

Well, you made yourself look like a thief by offering to pay for it again. Why would you do that rather than ringing your husband?

RowenaFlower · 06/01/2019 19:36

Bless you, that sucks. I’d be so cross at DH. You couldn’t ring him on his mobile?
Me being me I don’t think I’d ever go back to that shop.
Then again, I don’t think I’d have paid again for the oil. You could say it makes you look guilty, but also cos I’m tight.

Well what has happened has happened and it’ll mortify you for a while but then you’ll move on. Not much you can do now, except find another shop!!!

Travis1 · 06/01/2019 19:37

Did you not both have mobiles?

MapMyMum · 06/01/2019 19:37

Id go back and explain with both receipts tbh, couldnt you have rang dh and told him to come back in with the receipt?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/01/2019 19:37

Sounds like you just panicked, poor thing. I've never been in your situation but I can imagine it was awkward. How come you didn't phone your H? He was a bit of a dick to do what he did tbh. Did he definitely pay for it?

OhJustElfOff · 06/01/2019 19:38

The obvious thing was as your husband suggested to just go back in and show your receipt, get the refund and prove yourself innocent

RowenaFlower · 06/01/2019 19:38

Ooh actually as 7yo7yo says, if DH got a receipt you could go back for a refund and complain. Then you could hold your head high in store!

OnlyaMan · 06/01/2019 19:38

It happens! You are not in the wrong, nor is the shop. Forget about it!

BringOnTheScience · 06/01/2019 19:38

Send DH back with both receipts. They czn check their cctv to back up his account of events.

BrieAndChilli · 06/01/2019 19:39

Why didn’t you ring your DH?? Why did he go outside knowing you had his oil? If my kids pay for something separately I make sure that we keep the receipt on show until I have finished my shopping and left the stores
By offering to pay for it again you’ve made yourself look very guilty? How much was the oil?

regmover · 06/01/2019 19:39

Go back and get your refund, they will remember you and be fine.

Imalittleelf · 06/01/2019 19:39

I would go back with both receipts and make a complaint for the treatment.

WorraLiberty · 06/01/2019 19:40

if DH got a receipt you could go back for a refund and complain

Complain about what?

The staff did nothing wrong. In fact they sounded very accommodating

cheesywotnots · 06/01/2019 19:40

Call customer services, explain what happened and get a refund. In future your dh either needs to stay with you or put anything he has bought into a bag and keep the receipt. Maybe your d.h. could go and sort it out.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 06/01/2019 19:41

I would never have let him put it in the trolley with the on going shopping...just begging for this exact scenario tbh

tiny bit of forethought and you would have avoided the whole thing.

and if you watched him go through the till with it, how could you not remember which one it was? And why not just phone him?

All in all no wonder you were mortified!

Thankssomuch · 06/01/2019 19:41

You didn’t steal it, you didn’t attempt to steal it. I don’t see why you would have a problem returning to the store.

ThePinkOcelot · 06/01/2019 19:41

I think you made yourself look guilty by offering to pay again. Could you not have phoned your husband and got him to come to you?! It was madness him putting it in your trolley in the first place.

LurkyMcLurky · 06/01/2019 19:41

Poor you OP. Things like this happen all the time in supermarkets so try not to worry. If it ever happens again hopefully not the store can check the sales made on all tills via their back office system. They'd only need the barcode do to a search and wouldn't need to know exactly which till it was.

WorraLiberty · 06/01/2019 19:42

They offered to look at his club card if he'd used it

They offered to check the till, if the OP knew which one it was

The supervisor even offered to speak to the manager, rather than have the OP pay.

So what exactly would the grounds for complaint be?

kaytee87 · 06/01/2019 19:42

Weird that you would pay for it again instead of either phoning your DH to bring the receipt or leaving it with the staff member and going outside to ask DH to go in with receipt.
You made yourself look guilty by offering to pay for it imo.

pinkhorse · 06/01/2019 19:43

Offering to pay just makes you look guilty!

Newsername · 06/01/2019 19:45

Omg you made yourself look like a thief by insisting on paying for it! Do you get anxious very quickly?

Why couldnt you have left the shopping inside and gone to the car to ask your husband for the receipt?

I would never pay for something twice. I wouldn’t care if other people were watching. Shop assistants experience these situations all the time, I’m sure they weren’t judging you.

greendale17 · 06/01/2019 19:46

You caused an issue here OP.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 06/01/2019 19:47

Could you not have rung him? If he was going back to the car he should have taken it with him, the idiot.

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