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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be convinced they think I'm a thief

121 replies

Bagofworries · 06/01/2019 19:32

Went shopping yesterday. Same shop as always. Self scan as usual.
Dh picks up some oil for his work van and nips through the self service checkout.
He plonked the oil in my trolley and went off to browse at some tools. I carried on.
Got to the checkout and dh hadn't appeared yet. Got stopped for a random check.
Assistant picked the oil up and I told her that dh had already paid for that at the self service tills. I had watched him.
Assistant asked me if i had the receipt. I didnt. She asked which till was it. Was it the only item that was purchased. Did he use a Clubcard?
I honestly didn't know the answers. I couldn't see DH anywhere at this point.
Assistant called over supervisor who said they could check the tills if I knew which one he had gone through. I didn't.
At this point, I began to sweat profusely and began panicking that they thought I had attempted to steal the oil.
I told the supervisor that in light of not being able to produce a receipt, I would pay for the item again, because at this point, I just wanted to get away from the customers all looking at me and get out of the store.
I was looking all around me for DH but he was nowhere to be seen. I was absolutely mortified.
I insisted on paying again. I didn't much care about the money at this point. I was sweating so much.
The supervisor offered to speak to the store manager about it, but all I could focus on was that I didn't have a bloody receipt.
I just kept insisting I was happy to pay for it again, and the supervisor said if I was happy to do so, that was fine.
He watched me pay for the bloody oil and I left the store to find DH back at the car waiting for me.
He offered to go back into the store but by this point I didn't care about the money, I just wanted to go home.
We had planned to go for lunch straight after but I lost my appetite.
I have shopped here for years with no problems at all. Now I feel like I never want to set foot in the store again!!
I am not blaming the staff at all. It was my and dh mistake completely.
But AIBU to never want to set foot in there again because I am convinced they believe i attempted to steal the oil and never ever let dh come shopping anywhere with me again?

OP posts:
rainbowsss · 06/01/2019 19:47

Oh my god I would have been so mad with my husband if he did this. I do think you made it worse though, sorry.

Kittykat93 · 06/01/2019 19:47

Why on Earth would you pay for it again? That made you look guilty!!

LagunaBubbles · 06/01/2019 19:47

You made yourself look guilty by offering to pay again, as if you've been caught out! Why didnt you just phone your husband? Confused

Oldraver · 06/01/2019 19:48

Yes it's slightly embarrasing but there were lots of options available to you but made it worse by silly panicking

gamerwidow · 06/01/2019 19:49

Go back with the receipt and get your money back but don't complain, they tried their best to let you provide evidence for the purchase. It's not really their fault if your DH disappeared and you couldn't provide any details. I wouldn't have paid for it again, why didn't you just say 'ok i'll leave the oil with you for a minute and send my husband back with the information'.

ScrumptiousBears · 06/01/2019 19:50

I'm surprised they let you pay for it "again". How many shop lifters get caught then offer to pay and get off. Worth chancing their arm isn't it?

gamerwidow · 06/01/2019 19:51

p.s. don't feel embarrassed everyone gets a bit flustered and panics sometimes at least you won't do the same thing again.

PeachQueen · 06/01/2019 19:51

Seriously?! Do you not have a brain to think let's ball my DH and get him here to sort this ?!

theworldistoosmall · 06/01/2019 19:52

So rather than -
Remembering the till you watched him pay at
Phone him
Ask them to put a call out for him over the tannoy
Ask them to escort you minus the shopping to check outside/the car
Check the CCTV

You chose the only guilty option and paid for the item again. Just why would any innocent person do this? Of course, they think you were trying to nick the item.

I have set off the alarm when leaving the store with an item I had paid for in another store. I had walked in visibly holding the item, and told them to check the CCTV. What I didn't do was say fuck it I will pay. Not a chance am I going to make myself look guilty.

puzzledlady · 06/01/2019 19:54

sorry - but you caused yourself to look like a thief by offering to pay fo it again.

Original poster
Bagofworries · 06/01/2019 19:55

I only paid for it because I panicked when I realised I didn't have the receipt. I did try to ring dh but there was no signal and it felt like all of the customers close by were looking at me. I just wanted to run away.
I have no complaints about the staff or the store at all.
I just feel really anxious and uncomfortable that the staff and other customers thought I was a thief.
The nearest supermarket after this one is only 15 miles further. Maybe I'll shop there instead. On my own obviously.
DH is going to take both receipts in tomorrow after work to the customer services desk.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bagofworries · 06/01/2019 19:57

I couldn't phone or text him because I tried. I had no signal.
A tannoy message wouldn't have worked because he was already outside.
I didn't know where he was when I was at the till.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 06/01/2019 19:57

No one would have been paying the slightest bit of notice to this. Why the panic?

Why shop somewhere else?!

Nicknacky · 06/01/2019 19:58

So just say to the staff you had no signal and could they pop to the door with you to look for him?

DarkDarkNight · 06/01/2019 19:58

I would have been mortified. It was thoughtless of your husband to put shopping he had paid for in with stuff you hadn’t paid for yet then disappear.

Definitely go back with both receipts and get a refund though. You’ve done nothing wrong apart from being embarrassed.

theworldistoosmall · 06/01/2019 19:58

But you didn't know he was outside until you went outside so not putting a call makes no sense.
No mobile signal - you could have asked them to phone him.

Serialweightwatcher · 06/01/2019 19:59

They were just checking for proof until you offered to pay for it again and then you looked like a thief - why on earth would you offer to pay again when you could have left the basket to find your husband with the receipt/details of which till he used?

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 06/01/2019 20:00

Why did you let him put an unbagged, paid for item with no reciept back in the trolley with everything else you had yet to pay for?

I find that the most baffling thing Confused

Pachyderm1 · 06/01/2019 20:00

It sounds like you’ve got in a bit of a tizz. I really don’t think you need to avoid the shop for all time.

Reluctant2ndtimer · 06/01/2019 20:00

Sounds awful for you op, I’m not surprised you feel mortified. I’m quite sure though that the staff will have checked the cctv already and know that you were telling the truth. Get back in there with your head held high, you’ve nothing to feel embarrassed about.

Yabbers · 06/01/2019 20:01

Why would he put it in the trolley if he was going to look at tools and then to the car? Why wouldn’t he keep it with him? It’s nit as if it was a 20 gallon drum. Very strange.

Of course they thought you were stealing it. You were taking an item away and you didn’t have any proof you had paid for it. Or do you think you should have been believed but shoplifters who make similar excuses shouldn’t be?

Original poster
Bagofworries · 06/01/2019 20:02

Nicknacky, I have awful anxiety anyway and am heavily medicated for this, but I don't suppose anyone would know in public.
I suppose that's why I panic at these sorts of situations. Not that this has ever happened before but I get panicky if things don't go to plan. It's like my brain freezes and I can't think of anything except escaping from the situation.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 06/01/2019 20:03

If you are planning on shopping elsewhere because of this then you need help with your anxiety.

Original poster
Bagofworries · 06/01/2019 20:05

Yabbers, I don't think they should just believe me. Hopefully they have checked the cctv and when dh goes back with the receipts, that will repay my mistake in paying again.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 06/01/2019 20:07

Dh should have stayed with you or tucked the receipt in the handle.

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