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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be convinced they think I'm a thief

121 replies

Bagofworries · 06/01/2019 19:32

Went shopping yesterday. Same shop as always. Self scan as usual.
Dh picks up some oil for his work van and nips through the self service checkout.
He plonked the oil in my trolley and went off to browse at some tools. I carried on.
Got to the checkout and dh hadn't appeared yet. Got stopped for a random check.
Assistant picked the oil up and I told her that dh had already paid for that at the self service tills. I had watched him.
Assistant asked me if i had the receipt. I didnt. She asked which till was it. Was it the only item that was purchased. Did he use a Clubcard?
I honestly didn't know the answers. I couldn't see DH anywhere at this point.
Assistant called over supervisor who said they could check the tills if I knew which one he had gone through. I didn't.
At this point, I began to sweat profusely and began panicking that they thought I had attempted to steal the oil.
I told the supervisor that in light of not being able to produce a receipt, I would pay for the item again, because at this point, I just wanted to get away from the customers all looking at me and get out of the store.
I was looking all around me for DH but he was nowhere to be seen. I was absolutely mortified.
I insisted on paying again. I didn't much care about the money at this point. I was sweating so much.
The supervisor offered to speak to the store manager about it, but all I could focus on was that I didn't have a bloody receipt.
I just kept insisting I was happy to pay for it again, and the supervisor said if I was happy to do so, that was fine.
He watched me pay for the bloody oil and I left the store to find DH back at the car waiting for me.
He offered to go back into the store but by this point I didn't care about the money, I just wanted to go home.
We had planned to go for lunch straight after but I lost my appetite.
I have shopped here for years with no problems at all. Now I feel like I never want to set foot in the store again!!
I am not blaming the staff at all. It was my and dh mistake completely.
But AIBU to never want to set foot in there again because I am convinced they believe i attempted to steal the oil and never ever let dh come shopping anywhere with me again?

OP posts:
PattiStanger · 06/01/2019 22:17

For most shoppers this would be a total non issue and easily resolved, you written a tl:dr op without mentioning anxiety as far as I saw which doesn't make sense as it's the key issue.

Imo it's a total overreaction never to go there again but I don't have any anxiety problems so my and most other posters answers are going to be of no use to you.

Yabbers · 06/01/2019 22:18

There's no such thing as getting stopped for a random check, they thought you were stealing

There is with the scan as you shop thing.

PattiStanger · 06/01/2019 22:19

There's no such thing as getting stopped for a random check

There certainly is in Tesco, I don't know about other shops, why do you say it doesn't happen?

whatsthepointthen · 06/01/2019 22:27

I had a similar thing happened when I was accused of stealing nappies and couldnt find the receipt, I was mortified and told them to check the cctv it was so embarrassing and everyone was definitely staring. Luckily I did find it in the end but I was so flustered it took me a while, I avoided the shop for a while so I can understand where your coming from op.

Ontheboardwalk · 07/01/2019 00:02

Scan and shop at Tesco’s also asks if there’s anything in trolley not part of this shop. OP you should have pressed yes

CherieBabySpliffUp · 07/01/2019 00:14

They didn't need to know exactly which till it was he paid at to check if it had been sold in the time period. Sorry to say they thought you were planning not to pay for the oil.

whatwillbewillbe03 · 07/01/2019 00:19

Why didn't your DH take the oil back to the car with him as he'd already paid and was carrying it.. also why would he just piss off without telling you where he was going.

Sorry you had to go through that but i blame your DH.

Pinkcat231 · 07/01/2019 00:33

I have anxiety too OP so know how you feel. But think of it this way, if you noticed this happening to another customer would you really be looking out for them in the store again? Do you ever pay attention to other customers and recognise them from previous trips? Because I doubt anyone does, so just go back with your husband and receipts and continue to shop there, it will get easier every time.

steadtler · 07/01/2019 02:12

Yes, they think you stole it, or at least suspect it.

You could have proved otherwise.

I'd go back with the bottle and two receipts and want a refund and to prove my innocence.

Monty27 · 07/01/2019 02:58

This doesn't sit right with me. I may not have rtht properly.
So did he pay for the oil or not?
Or dump it in with your already paid for items to go and find tools? And left you to deal with his ahem shopping? Confused

AgentProvocateur · 07/01/2019 03:20

They think you stole it because no-one who paid for something would then offer to pay for it again Confused Why on earth didn’t you go back in and sort it out when you found your DH?

knittedjest · 07/01/2019 03:26

Oh well. Who are they to you? What does it matter if they think you are Freddy Krueger? You know you're not a thief so screw them and what they think. Has no impact on your life.

linziepie · 07/01/2019 03:31

if this is tesco with the little scanner that you walk around with they will have a record of it on tour clubcard so you will get stopped more often. One of the staff told me this when i had accidentally not scanned a yogurt. tell your husband to take both clubcards so that they can remove it.

Groovee · 07/01/2019 03:40

Your dh is to blame for not taking it with him and putting you in this position without a receipt.

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 07/01/2019 04:16

I don’t believe for one second that if the oil had been paid for, that you would offer to pay again. You did not get away with stealing it, but why come on here bleating? None of us were there so your fake protests are wasted.

melj1213 · 07/01/2019 04:17

They didn't need to know exactly which till it was he paid at to check if it had been sold in the time period. Sorry to say they thought you were planning not to pay for the oil.

They did not think anything of the sort just because they asked for transaction information. The entire context matters and initially it was just a normal random quality check.

I work for one of the Big 4 supermarkets and in our store the easiest way to verify the purchase (as in the specific transaction not just that we had sold the item that day) is to look it up on our Electronic Transaction Journal.

The issue is that our ETJ is not set up like Google where you can just put the barcode number in and it shows all sales. You have to choose a day, choose a checkout terminal then search within transactions and it will bring up any transaction containing that item. The more specific you can be (till number or at the very least whether it was a manned till/basket self scan/belted self scan/scan and go/kiosk; whether it was card or cash; the last 3 digits of your card number; the time frame etc) the more the search can be narrowed down to expedite the process.

Just knowing that an item has been sold doesn't mean it was the OPs husband who bought it. Looking up the specific transaction verifies it.

I deal with this kind of thing on a daily basis and it is not a big deal, to just find a transaction in the system and then have people go on their way once it has been verified. However, if a customer acted as the OP did (getting quality checked and an unpaid item flagging up, claim it had been paid for but not having the receipt as it was with the absent DP and immediately offering to pay again rather than provide details to help find his transaction) then it has all the red flags of a shoplifter and it would be noted.

Monty27 · 07/01/2019 04:28

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox
All of that. And "Mel"
Real life would have left all of their shopping to seek him out with his receipt Confused

Bubs101 · 07/01/2019 04:52

your husband sounds a bit daft to dump you with his shopping and just vanish, what did he expect?? Anyway get your husband to fix the mistake and go back to the store with your head held high, I used to work in a supermarket and had incidents like this all time and usually forgot about it after a week, nobody will recognise you, thery're all too busy!

mogtheexcellent · 07/01/2019 08:03

Your DH is a prat. As punishment he can do all the shopping from now on Wink

Ohheyyy · 07/01/2019 08:09

You or your DH should go back and produce both receipts. Preferably you as they're more likely to remember the situation if they remember you.

Your DH is a prat for doing that and walking off. I don't understand why you didn't just call his mobile or go straight back in through.

SouthernComforts · 07/01/2019 08:20

Don't blow this out of proportion, it was a mildly awkward situation that you managed to temporarily resolve, and can resolve it further with both receipts. The staff will have forgotten you completely by now. Don't spiral.

bridgetreilly · 07/01/2019 08:28

OP, they don't think you were a thief. They obviously did not think that because of the lengths they went to help you prove you'd bought the oil.

You are letting the anxiety talk. Do not start shopping elsewhere.

Do make sure that DH takes any items he's paid for (why?! why would he do this? why not just put the oil in the trolley to be paid for with everything else?) out of the shop with him in future.

Poloshot · 07/01/2019 08:30

Not sure what you or DH expected after paying for it then putting it back in the trolley. Odd behaviour.

silverdarkness · 07/01/2019 08:31

I think you should of gone back in with your husband. Does the store have CCTV? The problem is as your paid up it made you look guilty and next time they may be extra watchful. Maybe go back and explain or email/ write to them

PumpkinKitty82 · 07/01/2019 08:34

You made yourself look so guilty!
No way would I pay again !
Don’t you and your husband have mobile phones ?? You could have called him and said “get your arse over here”
What a bizarre story.

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