To say no to this? Please help!

[Honeypothouse]

So have NC for this,

I recently ended a relationship, I was in this for around a year and a half,we met online if that is relevant. Thing's were going well but a few thing's were bothering me as such we talk and he ended the relationship and said it wasnt what he wanted anymore because I wouldn't admit my wrongs, mainly

• I wasn't affectionate enough
• I didn't make plans including him enough
• I didn't text him first enough

The list goes on,most of which wasn't even true.. this just made me glad the relationship had come to an end. The thing is I have a 3 year old child, i work full time and I honestly felt I was doing okay at everything. He had met my DC and his parents had met my DC a couple of times. Now the point of the post, he ended things on December 21st. I got on with things and plodded on, yesterday i recieved an email from him breaking down how much he and his parents had apparently spent on my DC for presents, they have never bought her anything before, or asked what shes into or give any indication they were buying her gifts, now suddenly bewtween them they've apparently spent around £200 they expect me to pay back? I haven't even replied but tbh his mum is quite loud and scary,im quite worried she may turn up over this, does anybody have any advice? He has now said he has reasons to be worried over the safety of my child and picked holes in my parenting. He knows i have quite recently gone back onto antidepressants and this seems to be his main point. I have no reason to be scared of him or his family in a violence way they are just quitle loud and outspoken and I've heard how they have treated other people thats making me worry. Its just all such a mess

Sorry if there is spelling/grammar errors im just a little panicky

Block and ignore.

Unless his mum is going to physically break down the door if she rocks up ignore her as well. There is only so long you can screech at a door before you get the message it ain't speaking back.

Did they give your DD the gifts?

If so send them back

That’s really a mean thing to do

Just say no If someone choses to spend money on presents that is up to them. If they want the money back they should ask their son.

Ignore him, block him/his family on every possible medium. If he continues, keep all record of his/his family attempts at contact and report for harassment if needed. You owe them nothing.

You had a lucky escape OP! Don't pay him a penny!

Email him back saying they haven't given you any presents and if they contact you again you will call the police and and file a case that they are harassing you.

Any chance you want to tell us what is on their breakdown?

So he ended it, the presents were never given to your DC and he's demanding £200?

What the actual fuck. Honestly, no. You have no need to pay at money. He sounds like a needy shitbag!

I'd ignore all the requests but I'd feel intimidated too. I expect t it'll just blow over if you ignore them, but if they keep hounding you then keep the evidence and consider reporting them for harassment.

How awful!

Another vote for block and ignore.
Taking medication for your mental health is a sign you are taking your parenting seriously don't worry about this.

He was probably expecting you beg him not to break up with you.

I would love to be in court to see a man and his mum suing his ex girlfriend for presents for her baby that she hadn't asked for or expected.

It doesn't sound as though your child even got the presents. Even if she did, they were gifts. If she didn't receive them, they are completely bonkers.

I agree with the others - block and ignore.

Surely they can return the gifts to the store for their money back instead of demanding cash.

Dodged a bullet there op. Block and ignore.

They sound unhinged. Be happy you are out of it and ignore!

Hilarious. Block the cunt.

The whole point of gifts is that they are, um, gifted You can't go charging people for them after the event! Not unless you said please order these for DD and I'll pay you back, and then didn't. By the sound of it you never even saw these supposed presents so I for one would doubt they even exist.

And another thing, Social Services do not take children away just because their parent is on antidepressants (they wouldn't have anywhere to put that many children if they did!). He is talking as much nonsense as he did with the list of "wrongs", which you may or may not be guilty of, but they are all non-things even if every word were true.

Ignore him, plenty of parents are on ADs and are perfectly capable of raising happy, healthy children.

Agree with block but most importantly DO NOT REPLY TO HIM

The minute you start arguing the toss you've got a problem, he's more likely to go away if you ignore him

If they hadn't handed the presents over then they are having a laugh. If you had them and gave them to the kids then you should have offered them back - however conversely he should have asked for them back between 21st Dec and 25th Dec.

You sound as if you've had a lucky escape.

He is an abuser, and you have had a very lucky escape. I would personally send one message telling him to stop harassing you, or you will contact the police. Then block and ignore.

As others say, being on ADs is NOT a reason to question anybody's parenting. If that were the case, around 20-25% of children would be in care. Clearly, that is not the case.

I agree with the pp who said he is likely miffed you didn't beg for him to return.

No they have never,ever given her a thing!
I am thinking he knows after christmas he knows that money will be quite tight for me so he's kind of using it as one last kick at me.
One of his friends is dating one of mine and hes apparently already told people in our friendship group that i 'owe' him money.
I think block and ignore nay have to be the way to go, I am just really,really wary of making anything worse.
Thank you for your helpful replies

You might be surprised at how soon you no longer need those anti-depressants, with him gone from your life.

Do not engage. Block and move on. And bear in mind that the list he gave you of "wrongs" is just things you do differently to the way he does. There is no statutory amount of affection, for example, and everyone likes to give /receive different amounts. You've had a lucky escape.

Blimey, you dodged a bullet there. Block and ignore the twat.

There are children whose parents are addicted to heroin and social services know BUT simply being on drugs (prescribed or illegal) does not in itself make a bad parent and so children are left (though monitored) with their parents. Going back on antidepressants will be of no interest to social services. They might do a check to cover themselves but they'll be more pissed off at a malicious report wasting time they should be spending on protecting children in need.

They can return the gifts for their money back. Block and ignore. Or if you want closure tell them to return the not asked for or received gifts and if they contact you again that would be classed as harassment.

He sounds horrible. I bet his mum doesn’t even know about him asking you for money. They can return the gifts if they actually have any. Block and ignore. You’re much better off without him.

What's this?

They want money back for (Christmas?) presents that they never handed over, or have I misunderstood?

From a child??

Lord what nasty folks some people are.

Jesus, what a twat. You’re much better off away from him!

Block and ignore. What a cheeky fucker.