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Original poster

What do you make of this DM story

228 replies

Stepmum3 · 06/01/2019 13:05

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6561079/Millionaire-reveals-moment-doctor-told-father-three-adored-boys.html#comments-6561079

Basically a man finds out after 21 years he couldn’t of possibly fathered his three boys he knew as sons due to being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Then sued his Ex wife for the CSA and walked away with 250k. He had paid her 4 million and maintenance following their divorce. Two of the boys no longer talk to him 1 saying if you sue mum I won’t talk to you again.

I get the anger and hurt caused by this however the value of the boys he placed at 250k. What will the money bring back I feel nothing. A real sad story and upsetting for all involved. Although, I do think the wife is a bit of a cunt.

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 07/01/2019 16:48

They may not be his physical children, but they are his sons in every other way. If his actions against his wife are impacting them, then I can understand their anger.

Myoldfriend · 07/01/2019 17:16

Agree re oliversmumsarmy making over the top assumptions and interpretations.

RebelWitchFace · 07/01/2019 17:24

@Oliversmumsarmy he paid around 3k a month maintenance.
The school fees were paid in advance and part of the 4 mil awarded in the divorce.

I don't know where you got your numbers .

madmum5811 · 07/01/2019 17:37

He lives near us. Another local woman did this to a man who lived near us, she owned up when the child was 11. He had paid school fees etc, she went to prison.

Must be something in the air around here with two cases in a short space of time. Or does it happen more than we think?

DianaT1969 · 07/01/2019 17:43

@CarolDanvers
So you don’t agree that marital assets are joint then? And that what was accrued during the marriage should be split equally?
Had they split when she was pregnant with her lover's first child, the marriage wouldn't have accrued as much wealth. But she knowingly perpetuated a fraud upon her husband. (Refused a christening, gave Jewish middle names). Other women may do the same (pass off a child as their husband's), but how many would do it again with twins and then demand high child maintenace and a large divorce settlement??😳

DianaT1969 · 07/01/2019 17:51

If these 3 young men ever get married, I wonder if they'll trust their wives? Considering the main female role model woman in their lives, not much, I suspect.

JustMabel · 07/01/2019 18:20

I don't think anyone on this thread has condoned the woman's actions, have they?

Some of us just don't understand how he could do this to his sons. But so many of you empathise with the man because of the money It's all about the money for some of you.

Myoldfriend · 07/01/2019 18:27

I empathise with him because of the deceit.

icannotremember · 07/01/2019 18:27

Those poor sons. Imagine that being your life and the DM does a story on it and there are threads like these all over the internet... I don't know any of the people involved so don't feel qualified to comment on their awfulness or not, but I have massive sympathy for those young men.

MarilynSlumroe · 07/01/2019 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SillySallySingsSongs · 07/01/2019 18:33

Some of us just don't understand how he could do this to his sons. But so many of you empathise with the man because of the money It's all about the money for some of you.

Absolute twaddle. Many empathise with the man because he has been conned and lied to for over 20 years in one of the most hurtful and horrible ways.

JustMabel · 07/01/2019 18:37

We all empathise about the deceit but are divided between those who think his sons are more important than the money. And those who think the money is more important than his sons.

RebelWitchFace · 07/01/2019 18:39

But so many of you empathise with the man because of the money It's all about the money for some of you.

Or maybe we've been lied to,deceived,cheated or it turns out that people we thought were blood actually weren't.

Or maybe we're just more emotionally mature and can see beyond "oh, won't someone think of the children" stance.

Yes the kids suffered the most and are the truly innocent victims in this. Yes they've been fucked over by both parents and I hope they come out of this with minimal emotional and mental scaring.

That doesn't negate the pain and suffering of the grownup that has been lied, even if he is a man and even if he did act stupidly after this.

Neverunderfed · 07/01/2019 18:40

He built a successful business while they were married. As such, she was entitled to a fair divorce settlement, which has nothing to do with the parentage of the children.

She sounds like an arse, yes.
But also this:

Didn’t need to go public and sell his story did he? He wanted to shame her and couldn’t care less about the kids. Sounds like an arsehole to me.

And whoever made the shitty comment about apples not falling far from the tree with absolutely no basis is a pretty nasty piece of work.

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 07/01/2019 18:46

But he's offering a reward in a national newspaper to catch the man who his wife cheated with Shock Surely his wife knows Hmm What's he going to do - sue him as well?

RebelWitchFace · 07/01/2019 18:47

And those who think the money is more important than his sons.

It seems to me (but what the fuck do I know?) from reading the article that the lawsuit was mostly to force her hand in admitting the truth and get a DNA test. She repeatedly denied the boys weren't his. Then admitted to an affair but still insisted the boys were his. Stupid and spiteful definitely, but one could half understand how when faced with that diagnosis and infertility the doubt(and maybe a glimmer of hope it was all a mistake)and wanting to know for sure would cloud someone's judgement.

dustarr73 · 07/01/2019 18:52

Some of us just don't understand how he could do this to his sons. But so many of you empathise with the man because of the money It's all about the money for some of you.

Not at all,some of us are coming from the point of view of never knowing their real father.Brought up by a stepdad.He knew i wasnt his

But if my mother had done this,i wouldnt blame the man for the way he reacted.I would blame my mother.Because its squarely her fault.Whatever the marriage was like,she made a concious decision to cheat and have babies for a man that wasnt her husband.

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/01/2019 18:55

I know a couple in rl where this sort of thing occurred.

I can say that the few that know the truth have more sympathy with the wife than the deceived husband.

The husband refused to go and see a dr when things weren't happening. At one point made a joke that his wife was the barren one in front of a load of people in a pub.

Refused to divorce her when she asked for a divorce because he didn't want her to get her hands on "his" money.

The business was 50/50 and started from scratch and she has her name all over it.

She met someone who was also married and they would meet up occasionally.
She got pregnant by him and passed the children off as her husband's.

Whether the husband believes her is anyone's guess. He had been so horrible to her reguarding not being able to get pregnant that i think he didnt like the idea of people thinking it was him who haf any problems.

As far as I know they are still together today. DC are grown up and they live completely separate lives.

So I can see it from another perspective and it is not black and white

SillySallySingsSongs · 07/01/2019 19:02

Refused to divorce her when she asked for a divorce because he didn't want her to get her hands on "his" money.

She could have divorced him.

The husband refused to go and see a dr when things weren't happening.

You can't force somene to. His body, his choice. She had a choice to leave.

At one point made a joke that his wife was the barren one in front of a load of people in a pub.

Horrible thing to do but doesn't justify in any way her actions.

She met someone who was also married and they would meet up occasionally.

So she had no regard for someone elses marriage either.

She got pregnant by him and passed the children off as her husband's.

She lied to her husband and fuck buddy and DC. She sounds delightful.

MadMum101 · 07/01/2019 19:03

Neverunderfed. In a lot of marriages, of this couples era, it was generally that the wife stayed at home raising the children to facilitate the husband working or building up a business to support them all. This man was unknowingly facilitating his wife staying at home to raise another man's children and supporting children whom he didn't know weren't his.

If he knew his wife was shagging someone else before becoming pregnant with that person's children, he may have decided to end the marriage before he accumulated his wealth and therefore his wife wouldn't have been entitled to claim half of it!

He may have remained in the marriage for longer than he wanted to precisely because of 'his' children.

So his assumed parentage of the children may have had a lot to do with it.

There's no way the wife wouldn't have known they weren't his. She knows what her lover looks like, the husband doesn't.

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/01/2019 19:11

SillySallySingsSongs

There was no way she could have left him.

He wasn't violent and back then emotional abuse wasn't the thing it is today.

Saying leave back then was a different thing to today.

As I said those that knew what was going on had every sympathy with her.

MarilynSlumroe · 07/01/2019 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/01/2019 19:35

So what was she supposed to do?

Divorce out of the question.

No children forced upon her

I would love to know what answers you would come up with.

Remember this was the 70s/80s when any form of refuge was in short supply and for those that had been beaten black and blue

SillySallySingsSongs · 07/01/2019 19:38

As I said those that knew what was going on had every sympathy with her.

Says more about them then. She deliberetly fucked someone else who was also married (so tough luck to his DW) got pregnant and lied about it to the DC aswell as him.

There is absolutely no way to justify it.

Like pp I know soneone who found out their DF wasn't their DF in adulthood. Neither they nor their DF knew. To say it messed them both up would be an understatement

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 07/01/2019 19:50

I read this story and it made me uncomfortable. Not condoning what she did but how was she to know that the children were from the affair. Who gains from going to the papers? There are no winners in this one