To leave my DC with grandparents for 10 days?

[Whatshouldonedo]

DH has a big birthday approaching and I'm in the process of organising a trip

It's something a bit different which isn't child friendly so would mean leaving the DC (aged 3 and 6) with their grandparents for around 9-10 days. We've never left them for that length of time, but the eldest would be in school and youngest in nursery as usual, so their routine wouldn't be disrupted as such

AIBU or is it ok to leave them for this length of time?

Honestly, I wouldn’t, but you will probably get a lot of responses saying it is. I personally think it’s too long but as I’ve said it is just my personal view

It is up to you

Some people will say yes

Some no.

Personally I wouldn’t because a) I’d miss my dcs b) my dcs would miss me c) it’s a lot to ask of grandparents or anyone really!!

As a parent, i couldn't, but that's me, not you. If I were the grandparent, i would turn the lights off and hide. 10 days of 2 kids would not please me!!

I'm all for leaving children for a few days with grandparent who have a really good relationship with them.

But in all honesty I think 10 days is far far too much for such young dc.

I really wouldn't do this. The 3 year old will actually start to forgetting you, it may cause behaviour issues in both of them. They could feel abandoned. There's just no way.

2, 3 maybe 4 nights but I'm of the view that this sort of thing is a sacrifice of having children.
Many people go away for a few nights in big bday. I'd put this trip on hold until they are older.

I couldn't leave my 3 year old for that long, I think she'd really struggle with it. Your kids might be different from mine though.
Also I'd just miss her and worry. Can you do a shorter version of the trip?

Yes, they'll be fine. Do it!

I was about 8 when my sister, older sister got married and we waved her off on honeymoon, I didn't understand and thought I would never see her again.

It deeply emotionally affected me.
Children process things in a different way. The one plus is face time now and Skype etc. That may help a great deal but I still wouldn't do it.

They’ll be fine, might even have a great time. I don’t really see anything wrong with it. The only thing that would stop me is that I would be miserable without mine for that long but I’m soft when it comes to them!

I think 3 and 6 is too young to leave for that long personally but you know your kids best

My parents left me and dbro for 1-2 weeks holiday quite regularly when we were young. I suppose that’s the key - we were used to it, and perhaps they built up to it, who knows. 10 days out of nowhere may be a bit of a shock to the system. I think a week would be fine. Perhaps you could arrange the trip for the full length of time but come back earlier yourself? Or is it something like a trek circuit which is going to take the allotted anount of time to complete?

I've been away for up to a week a few times alone whilst DH looked after our children and it's quite hard as I missed them so much - ours would be simple as my IL's are the only HP alive and they refuse to look after our children for more than a night, or perhaps two at a big push

DH isn't so bad when he's away but I suspect it's my hormones on alert lol

Yes and did. Of course you’ll miss them, and probably more than they’ll miss you! Children don’t forget their parents in 10 days. In my experience having devoted non-parent time with grandparents is golden. My DC and my parents are like a special club.

@Willbeatjanuaryblues - seriously!! Why didn't your parents explain? Surely by 8 you'd understand?! My kids understood where I was and when I was home when I went away and they were 6&3 first time

I wouldn't regardless of ages.

I'd want to celebrate altogether. Plenty of time before and after chdilren to do the things that aren't suitable for them.

I don't think it's fair to expect others to take our responsibility for a jolly. Different for an emergency such as a hospital stay etc.

I spent days, weeks, and sometimes a month over summer holidays with my grandparents from the time I was tiny. I spent two weeks every summer at my auntie’s, playing and fighting and having the ‘sibling experience’ with my cousins that I didn’t normally get as an only child.

These are some of my best memories. It’s good for your kids to have different people who they love and trust and who you trust. It’s good for you to have a break. People on here will say otherwise. They are either anxious and overprotective, or selfishly afraid that their kid might love and trust someone else, or a combination (obviously this doesn’t apply if the reason they don’t want their kids to stay with someone else is because the someone else isn’t trustworthy or if they are still EBF or if the kid(s) have complex needs or there are other exceptional reasons involved).

I wouldn't. A weekend is one thing, a fortnight is quite another!

We went on our honeymoon for 12 nights and left our 2yo DD with my parents. She was absolutely fine, we Facetimes everyday. She has a lovely time, slept very well and ate even better than what she does here.

It was harder for me than it was for her.

Snuffalo that's a different prospect than what op is proposing.

There is another side to it, of the child's separation anxiety and stress isn't there.

Have they stayed with GPS before for a few days?
10 days seems rather a long time. Could you go for fewer days.

As long as the grandparents are genuinely happy to have the children, and they have spent nights with them before, do it!
We live by the sea and regularly have grandchildren for a week or more. It's a great way to build a proper relationship.

It entirely depends on your children, their relationship with their grandparents and whether they have been left regularly before.

If you regularly go away for long weekends or weeks away and the children have a ball with their fairly young, fit grandparents that’s one thing.

If they’ve never been left that’s an entirely different proposition.

I wouldn’t personally have left my D.C. at 3 and 6 for 10 days.

In fact my much older D.C. (who are very confident and have a great relationship with their GPS) wouldn’t be happy about being left for two weeks.

It’s a very big ask of the Grandparents too.

@Willbeatjanuaryblues why is @Snuffalo's experience any different?

They are either anxious and overprotective, or selfishly afraid that their kid might love and trust someone else, or a combination

Or perhaps just considerate of their children’s feelings Snuffalo?

My parents took my DC away in the summer holidays to help me with childcare when they were the age of your DC1. I missed them desperately but the kids were fine.

I couldn’t have imagined using up my annual leave and holiday budget on something that excluded my DC when they were that small though.