To leave my DC with grandparents for 10 days?

[Whatshouldonedo]

DH has a big birthday approaching and I'm in the process of organising a trip

It's something a bit different which isn't child friendly so would mean leaving the DC (aged 3 and 6) with their grandparents for around 9-10 days. We've never left them for that length of time, but the eldest would be in school and youngest in nursery as usual, so their routine wouldn't be disrupted as such

AIBU or is it ok to leave them for this length of time?

That's a long time - they are going to have at least one weekend in the middle so its not actually true that they'll be at school and nursery the whole time.

I wouldn't do it for something so very optional - different if it was an emergency or even unavoidable to keep your job...

Are you going to come back and say how the grandparents feel about it? A lot wouldn't cope with that length of time, depending on age and health. The ones that would are often still working, so that'd be quite full on parenting, going from childcare to work to childcare without a break exactly as working parents do, which would require them to be in full health not winding down mentally to retirement.

Do the grandparents live locally or would they have to come and stay in your house to facilitate school and nursery? If so that's a massive ask.

Are you going to come back and say how the grandparents feel about such a very long period of non stop childcare, and whether the children have spent several nights in a row with them before?

10 days is a bit greedy IMO . Would a week not do ?

Assuming gps are okay with it then I would.
I left my dcs (7 and 2) with my mum for a week when dh and I went to China (pre-relocation trip). My mum moved into our house so it was easy to maintain the same routine and a friend of mine took ds to school with her son which took the pressure off a bit.

I prepared and froze some meals in advance to help out and everyone was fine.

Go for it! Have a fabulous time. Relationships benefit massively from time away together without the children every now and again. Me and DP have two holidays a year without the kids, we have family holidays too. The kids also go away with their grandparents. They love it and it's always been the norm for them. DC3 is due in June and we have a long weekend booked away for my birthday in September where the baby will be staying with my parents. My parents also say it keeps them young.

Are you using holidays from work for this, are you expecting the grandparents to cover such a long period AND then step in during school holidays as well?!

My son used to spend weeks at a time with my parents. Single parents in the 70s didn't have much choice in school holidays. The result was that he describes them as his "touchstone", not just his grandparents but his friends. Their relationship was a massive part of all their lives and a beautiful thing to behold.

OP, your children will be fine and you could be starting something wonderful they'll treasure all their lives.

Ds2 goes to stay regularly with my 4 sil's, one in particular. For a week. He begs to stay for longer, because they all have dogs. He barely misses us!

Do adults need big long holidays for special birthdays or do families need to share major milestones - you know because they contain mature responsible adults who understand their responsibilities.

It depends on how good a relationship they have with GPs now, how independent they are etc. Have you ever left them with GPs overnight before? If not, why not do that first and see how it goes.

The daily facetime option sounds like a good idea too.

Adults don't need lots of things. We all do things we don't need to be happy.

If your parents are happy to mind the children and all know one another well and get along, then off you go. Be even better if your parents could mind the children in your home.

You’re relationship with you DH is important, I’m a firm believer that life shouldn’t revolve around children to the detriment of a couple’s relationship. You don’t want to be come one of those couples whosay they haven’t had so much as a night out in years because they couldn’t bear to leave their children.

I’m sure you will be able to phone or FaceTime your children while you are away. Talk of separation anxiety is a little silly, I think sometimes adults can, without realizing, encourage anxiety in children, better to foster a yes we can do this, I’m going away but will be back attitude, you’ll such a good time with granny/grandad. We’ll FaceTime every day, etc.

It's fine. Are they close to their grandparents tho? If they visit them once a month it's not really an indication of a close relationship. Every week then yes I'm sure they would be happy to stay and your parents Know what they're getting in to.

Definitely not for 10 days no ... least not for me ... are the children used to being left with GP for extended periods of time? Why does it been to be so long? Why not 5-7 days?

Even if the grandparents say yes, I think you’re a cheeky fucker for asking for that length of time. A long time for the kids too.

I would

I spent 2 weeks with my grandparents every summer holiday. They loved it, I loved it. Can’t remember anything about the holiday times with parents but I can remember the times with my grandparents - carboot sales, toast with sugar and butter, their lovely dogs, the horses we passed in the lanes etc!

If grandparents are happy to do 10 days then I would do it.

Basically forget what anyone here thinks. We all have different experiences and will give you biased answers.

Truth is there is no right or wrong answer.

Do your parents want to?

Do you think your kids will mind?

Base your decision on those answers.

I would miss my DS too much to do this but each to their own.

Do the GPs in q know & are happy to do this ? 10 days is a very long time. hOw far away would you be from them if you needed to get back ?

Could you go for a week ?

I couldn't leave mine for that long. Similar aged DC. It's far too long.

I wouldn’t. It’s too long. 6yo possibly for a few days but one is still so little...

We had our grandchildren for ten days, but they were older and able to properly understand.

I really wouldn't do this. The 3 year old will actually start to forgetting you,

They really won't. My parents went to my Mum's home country for six weeks when I was three. We five children were divvied up between Mum and Dad's lovely friends for the duration. All I remember is that the people I stayed with had a much better swing than we did.

Anyway up until she died Mum would tell the story about how cute I was when they returned and I strolled into the room and straightaway said "Hello Mummy". I sounded like the Queen apparently.

So OP - do it.

Absolutely fine! Have a few lead up sessions between now and then have an absolute ball.

Ignore the parents who can't conceive any relationship worth nurturing aside their children.

General posters - since when is 9-10 days, 2 weeks?

Yes definitely go for it.