To leave my DC with grandparents for 10 days?

[Whatshouldonedo]

DH has a big birthday approaching and I'm in the process of organising a trip

It's something a bit different which isn't child friendly so would mean leaving the DC (aged 3 and 6) with their grandparents for around 9-10 days. We've never left them for that length of time, but the eldest would be in school and youngest in nursery as usual, so their routine wouldn't be disrupted as such

AIBU or is it ok to leave them for this length of time?

I would be inclined to think that ten days is too long. Maybe a week would be more palatable. However, that’s based purely on my experience - we live some distanace from our parents so the relationship is different. If you live really very close and the kids see the grandparents very frequently then it might not be such a big deal

If the GP are happy to have them, and it is not unusual for the kids to stay with them, then I'd say go for it - as long as worry / missing them is not going to ruin the holiday for you.

My DC have spent time with both sets of grandparents - normally a couple of nights, but on one occasion for a week. My in laws both passed away in the last few months and the kids (now 11 and 7) look back at those times and are so happy they got to spend the time with them.

I was about 8 when my sister, older sister got married and we waved her off on honeymoon, I didn't understand and thought I would never see her again

Wow by 8 i was spending whole fortnights away with my dad step mother and steo siblings.

I spent most half terms in respite care seeing neither my parents or siblings but having a wonderful time with my foster parents and their family.

I always knew i'd see my mum again.

Sorry you were so traumatised but i think your experence is an unusal reaction.

As for the 3 year old beginning to forget you thats not true either my dad had EOW access from when i was 2 i never forgot him, my god daughter has never forgotten her dad and he worked away from montjs at a time when she was young.

It depends on the child and tje grandparents. How close are they? It is a lot to ask. Could the grandparents manage it.

How used to being apart from you are the children?

No chance, not for that long. It wouldn't be fair on the kids or the grandparents.

Really unfair on the grandparents. Taking the piss

Hardly. Some grandparents enjoy having their grandchildren for long periods.

Oh my god what have a I read on here hahaha your 3 year old will not forget you!! I went to the Dominican Republic when DD was 2 and a half for 2 weeks!! If grandparents are happy to look after kids & you like you say, the children will be in school etc anyway so routine ok then enjoy your holiday!! I wish we could get even 3 nights away somewhere!! Don't let people make you feel bad on here! I'd just FaceTime the kids every 2/3 days after school time! :) 6 year old may appreciate a text message (to Nannies phone each day) xx

My husband and I did with our then 2 1/2 year old when we went on honeymoon. First half with one set of Grandparents and the second half with the other set of Grandparents. He was perfectly fine with the arrangement. But maybe different to how yours would be. Only you know the answer to that.

I would if grandparents would be happy and kids have a great relationship with them.

Sure i'd miss them but its not that long

I think it’s a long time for such young children. You say it’s a mile stone birthday so I assume either 30 or 40. Could you not put it off until the next mile stone ie 40/50 then the children could come with you or as teenagers may prefer not to anyway!
What about a mini break for 3-5 nights. It’s a lot for gp to deal with.

• i wouldn't. I think 2-3 says would be better.

I wouldn't at that age.

But, how close are they to their Grandparents, have they stayed with them before and for how long, can you FaceTime every day ? How are your children at bed time ?

Some children would be okay with this, some wouldn't. I don't think either of my children would have been happy at this age being left for that long but you know your kids best.

Assuming that your children are used to being with their grandparents, definitely.
My DD has spent long-ish periods (as long as 3 weeks) with her grandparents (without me) a few times. But we are very close-knit and she has seen them, pretty much, every day since she was born.

I'm usually quite laissez-faire, but I wouldn't leave a 3 year old for that length of time. At most I'd go for something like a Friday to Sunday trip. Can't you leave the long trip at least till the youngest is in school?

No I wouldn’t, I would miss them too much.

Slightly different but I went away on holiday with my grandparents for anything between 1-4 weeks from being very young, I had a brilliant relationship with them right up to being a teenager when they sadly passed away but I loved every minute of my time with them. I also had a great relationship with my parents too it was in he says before Skype and face time so we would speak on the phone and write cards/letters it had no effect on my relationship with my parents but gave me a wonderful relationship with my grandparents.

9-10 days is a long time. What is it that requires you to be away so long?

4-5 days I would but don’t think I would for 9-10days.

No. Definitely not OK.
2-3 days would be OK.

What do the Grandparents have to say about this? Are they young, fit and strong? I can only have mine one at a time (ages 5 and 2). (Although maybe I'm a lot older than your dgp...)

I was about 8 when my sister, older sister got married and we waved her off on honeymoon, I didn't understand and thought I would never see her again.

Another one who thinks this is extreme. Conversely my mum got remarried when I was 4 and went on a 2-week honeymoon over Christmas. I survived emotionally and physically unscathed.

When I was 5, my baby brother and I stayed with family friends for three weeks (but there were exceptional circumstances). Again we were both fine.

It's all down to context. Are the kids OK to be left? Are the grandparents happy to have them? Are you OK to leave them?

I wouldn’t. Far too long. A weekend, bring it on. A fortnight? Nope.

I would and do. DC have been going to GPS for two weeks every summer for years to help us out with childcare. Started when the oldest was 5 and youngest 4.
DC love it, GPS love it and we love it.

Absolutely fine if the kids and the grandparents are close and enjoy the company of each other. Go for it! Skype the kids every day.

It's their grandparents fgs! Only caveat would be if the gps didn't want to, otherwise totally fine.

I am sure that you will miss them more than they miss you. You will be overwhelmed by the welcome home that you get. Do it.
Please don't make yourself a martyr to your conscience.
Age 67 now, 4 grown up children, been there, done it and got the t-shirt.

I think it’s too long. A couple of days - fine. 10 days is a long stretch.
Also can the GP’s cope with young kids for that length of time? It’s going to be very different to an occasional overnight sleepover, How old are they?