To leave my DC with grandparents for 10 days?

[Whatshouldonedo]

DH has a big birthday approaching and I'm in the process of organising a trip

It's something a bit different which isn't child friendly so would mean leaving the DC (aged 3 and 6) with their grandparents for around 9-10 days. We've never left them for that length of time, but the eldest would be in school and youngest in nursery as usual, so their routine wouldn't be disrupted as such

AIBU or is it ok to leave them for this length of time?

My DD1 then aged 3 and a half heard that my DPs and DGPs were going off to France for 3 weeks and asked to go with them. We all thought she'd be upset but she was adamant she wanted to go. They explained that they wouldn't be able to bring her back early. She had such a fabulous time she talked about it for years after, and still remembers bits of it almost 30 years on. We missed her terribly but she really wasn't bothered.

After that they all used to go to my DPs for at least a week in the summer holidays.

It depends on the children, the grandparents, and the sort of relationship they already have. The ILs would pick ours up from playgroup, or babysit in the evening, but I would never have left them overnight as MIL wouldn't have coped with them. ILs were a lot older than my DPs.

Lucky it’s a week and a half. People are rounding up, it’s not uncommon.

@Miane they’re rounding up for drama’s sake.

I wouldn't want to be away from my 4 year old for that length of time. See would definitely not want to be away from me and her dad for that length of time.

More to the point, what do the grandparents think?

As others have said it depends on several factors:

1. Are GPs willing, capable, trustworthy and physically able?
2. Are DC used to staying overnight with GPs for a few nights?
3. Are DC robust, confident and not overly clingy?
4. Will it leave you and DH with enough annual leave and adequate finances to go on usual family holidays/ cover school hols etc?

If none of the above create a barrier then I don't see why not.
Its not something I've ever had opportunity to do as 1, 2 & 4 have never applied but given limitless annual leave and more involved/enthusiastic GPs then I would love a child free holiday!

Hmm we have never left our kids (7 and 2) because we don’t have any GPs here- they live 10 hours away. And I don’t think I would personally be comfortable with it till the youngest was 5/6. Having said that we both work FT so we wouldn’t holiday without the kids in the first place. And I don’t mind having them around.
I guess the key questions are:
Would the GPs cope?
Are they used to this? Is this the first time they have stayed with them overnight?

@Miane they’re rounding up for drama’s sake.

Not necessarily Jings. Lots of people think of holidays in terms of weeks, not days, I certainly do.

In terms of leaving a 3yo I don’t think there is any more drama in leaving them for 10 days or 2 weeks.

Blimey-so many responses!

Thank you everyone for the input-it's really useful to hear different perspectives. I want to be absolutely sure I'm doing the right thing before making a booking...I'm worrying that I feel ok about it but the reality of actually leaving them for the trip will be quite different 😕

To answer a few questions, yes the grandparents know and have agreed. The DCs are very comfortable with them as my DM currently looks after them one day a week, she also stays with us overnight. The longest we've left the children to date is 5 days

This specific trip can't be made shorter-it's 7 nights with an organised itinerary (think along the lines of a trek or cruise a bit like another poster said), but due to the location and flight availability I was rounding up to 9-10 days to factor that in

Hmmmm I dunno 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm all for couple time and raising children who are happy to stay with family and friends etc. but 10 days away for a birthday treat sounds like an odd thing to want to do when you are a family of 4 with young children.

Each to their own obviously.

I wouldn’t leave a three year old that long unless they were particularly confident, always asking to stay at granny’s etc. I did leave a two year old for 5 days to go on honeymoon - he was clingy when we got back no lasting effect I think but I felt bad about it - getting up and coming to find me in the night that kind of thing. I’d have loved a longer honeymoon but it was my choice to have the dc first so things change.

I wouldn’t. Not for that long and not at that age.

I’d also be nervous of being a long plane journey away from them in case of something happening to either them or us.

@Miane - exactly! And rounding correctly means that 9 or 10 days is nearer to ONE week not two!

I think both your children and parents will love the experience. So long as your parents are happy to do it then I wouldn't worry about the length of time. When I was younger we loved staying with our aunts and uncles parent-free for extended periods!

I know lots of posters suggesting they went away with gp as children and loved it. Presumably though your children will be staying locally to attend school and nursery.

Its one thing to go on holiday with gp another to be left at home with sane routine just no parents. One options sounds fun, the other less so

Myself and my Dh went away for 4 nights leaving our 2 DC with my parents. My DD who is usually so I dependent and grown up missed us terribly. We didn’t realise just how much until her teacher told us in parents evening that she was like a different girl. We thought she’d cope the best, I felt awfully guilty.

While we were away, I was also thinking “aw DD would have loved seeing this, and DS would have found that so funny” and I really did miss them a lot.

We left our 3 and 6 yo with their GPs for 8 days to go to a wedding in Canada last year. No problems. The respective paries adore each other and the dc are used to sleeping over there.

At that age I would have been fine to leave them for four nights or so, definitely not nine or ten. I think it's just far too long, especially for the three year old.

I wouldn't. My older ones stay at pil's for up to a week but we aren't far away and pil and dc all know we can go and get them any time. 5 year old has stayed for the odd night here and there but usually wants to go home after that. 4 year old has stayed once but pil struggle with him so we will leave it until he is older.

Put it off for a couple of years. It’s unnecessarily stressful for everyone.

I was about 8 when my sister, older sister got married and we waved her off on honeymoon, I didn't understand and thought I would never see her again.

This is not typical^

I would do it, and have. They don’t forget who you are how ridiculous, do you say thisshit to dads in the army or parents who work away?

I did. The GPs were happy to do it. DD was 3. She certainly didn't forget us. Call and talk.