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Original poster

Midwife gave me a parcel of toys for my children is this normal?

122 replies

Foreverexhausted · 05/01/2019 18:18

Posting for traffic....

I had a baby two weeks before Christmas, had terrible baby blues and was put on 'mood watch' with regular visits at home from midwives. A couple of days before Christmas one of the midwives turned up with a huge bag of 'presents', there were lots of lovely brand new age relevant toys for both my children and several gifts including a gro-bag for my new baby. I was really taken aback and didn't know what to say. It wasn't until after she left I saw there was a label attached to the bag which said it was a gift from the Salvation Army!!

I still don't know what to think. Did the midwife think I was in need because I had a baby so close to Christmas and had terrible baby blues or did she think I was poor? Has anyone experienced this?

Thanks all

OP posts:
TheZeppo · 05/01/2019 18:20

Not experienced it, but how lovely.

I hope you’re feeling better Flowers

user1457017537 · 05/01/2019 18:21

What a lovely thing for her to do! I think she was just concerned that you would struggle to get out and get your presents and it is just a kind gesture.

ASAS · 05/01/2019 18:22

I think it's just a nice thing, probably goes to all families with a new born in the area. Sally Ann is VERY active and efficient, good on them I reckon.

Hope you're feeling better x

OhTheRoses · 05/01/2019 18:23

I think she should have been up front about why she brought it.

Thesmallthings · 05/01/2019 18:23

I think it's more likely because you had support with the baby blues and it's something they do at the holidays.

I would just double thank her when you see her next.
Congratulations on your baby and I hope you have a lovely year

Smellbellina · 05/01/2019 18:25

Salvation Army always collect toys to hand out to families at Christmas, it’s supposed to be a nice thing, it isn’t done with any judgement.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 05/01/2019 18:25

Quote common if you have a Christmas baby here. The Salvation Army are very generous.

Congratulations Thanks

Confusedbeetle · 05/01/2019 18:25

Sally Army provide gifts and the midwife thought it was appropriate you should be a recipient, nothing sinister, dont over think it

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 05/01/2019 18:26

How lovely. Hope you're feeling better now Flowers

MyDcAreMarvel · 05/01/2019 18:26

Probably any family receiving extra support for whatever reason would get one. I doubt it’s because they think you were poor.

Cranky17 · 05/01/2019 18:28

At my nursery we are asked by the Salvation Army to give the names of a few families who would benefit from a Christmas donations. I have to ask the parents permission first and then they deliver a parcel to the family.

I would want to understand why the midwife picked me

user1457017537 · 05/01/2019 18:29

In the working class area where I was brought up the Salvation Army were the only charity anyone had any respect for. They really did help people and collected in the roughest pubs carol singing and everyone really loved them and gave money.

MissyCooper · 05/01/2019 18:31

I wouldn’t like this. I see it’s a kind gesture but it would mortify me. I’d want to know why us.

HalloumiGus · 05/01/2019 18:34

They are probably told to give them to people who will benefit from them. Your midwife probably thought that it might give your spirits a lift. However your baby blues / low spirits are making you over think it. I honestly wouldn't. Just accept it as a lovely gesture.

user1457017537 · 05/01/2019 18:34

If it bothers you you could always donate to a woman’s refuge nearby. I’m sure they would be grateful.

OhTheRoses · 05/01/2019 18:36

I had a Xmas day baby in 1994. All my hv did was look round the house and say "just because you have got everything don't think your baby's better than anyone else's". Then drove me to pnd when I had infective mastitis leading to a breast abscess by saying "BF mothers put their babies first, FF mothers put themselves first - you do understand the benefits don't you".

Dodie66 · 05/01/2019 18:37

We had a parcel of food one Christmas. No idea why. Out neighbour was in the Salvation Army and brought it round to us. A really nice surprise

jessstan2 · 05/01/2019 18:38

I think it was a kind gesture, the midwife wanted to cheer you up and to show that there are people who care about you and your baby at a time when you were so down.

How lovely! The new year has started well, I hope everything improves.

Flowers for you.

BettyDuMonde · 05/01/2019 18:38

Kids in the children’s hospital get gifts from various charities at Xmas time, suspect yours was an extension from one of these projects.

Don’t read too much into it - enjoy! Hope you make a fast recovery x

Urbanbeetler · 05/01/2019 18:38

I really think you shouldn’t take it the wrong way. It isn’t necessarily done on material need but on who is having a difficult time right now. And it does sound like you are, and that you touched the heart of someone. Just enjoy it.

FamilyOfAliens · 05/01/2019 18:40

I wouldn’t like this. I see it’s a kind gesture but it would mortify me. I’d want to know why us.

I refer families to this scheme every year. I always ask first, though. I think I’ve had maybe one or two parents say no thanks, but I think it’s worth reminding yourself that it’s for the children, not for you.

Bombardier25966 · 05/01/2019 18:42

Not the Salvation Army but I organise a similar charitable event pre Christmas. We either deliver them direct to families or via charity and healthcare workers. We ask for nominations but our only criteria is "someone that might benefit from a little joy at Christmas", it's not based on finances or any other circumstances.

Unusualusernames · 05/01/2019 18:43

Poor you. I hope you’re feeling ok. She definitely meant well. My health visitor was horrible! I had baby blues and everything made me feel like I just wanted to cry hysterically ( eg watching a scene in eastenders where Phil Mitchell was nice. I know!). Thank god for me the feeling past but it took a good few months for me to feel normal again. Keep any eye on yourself and if you need help make sure you ask for it xx

Unusualusernames · 05/01/2019 18:44

*passed even

Rudgie47 · 05/01/2019 18:44

@OhTheRoses, that's scandalous, you should have put in a complaint about her.
OP I don't think you have been singled out for being poor or anything. Its more likely that all women who were having a baby got a some gifts.