To think people are Cruel about big’ weddings?

[MrDarcyWillBeMine]

A few wedding threads have popped up this week. Awesome, as a 2019 bride I love a good wedding thread!

However, I’m shocked and bemused by the sheer disgust MANY people openly display towards big traditional weddings. I find them very rude and small minded!

No feelings spared - plain nasty comments and even name calling! Apparently anyone who pays more than £50 to nip down their local registry office is a total ‘MUG’ and terrible person? 🤔

These nasty opinions also seems to be one sided - no ‘big weddings’ reguarlh jump in to abuse smaller cheaper ones or make crass remarks- there are plenty of ‘I’d never spend £20k on a wedding- I’d rather lick a mouldy toilet seat’ commenters

But no (very few and usually only in retaliation to abuse)
‘I’d never have a tacky function room £1k wedding - I’d rather visit a public pool 🤢’

🤔 So I can only assume that either:
A- people having cheaper wedding are generally meaner
Or
B- the abuse of large weddings is actually driven by jealousy!

With our fail it sparks a big ‘race to the bottom competition’ between commenters trying to one up each other on ‘cheapeast possible wedding’ 😒 meanwhile I just sit here thinking ‘I like my castle wedding 😬’

EVERY TYPE OF WEDDING IS LOVELY!

AIBU to think that people need to just stop being trolls and making shitty negative comments?

• I do get that weddings need to be affordable but some people CAN afford to spend £10k+ on a wedding and that’s ok!

It’s utterly depressing how ‘incentive’ basically translates to ‘material goods and money’ for some people, and an active desire to see people worse off than you. What a toxic mindset to think that achievement or diversity of employment/experiences isn’t possible in a society where everyone could afford to eat and have a safe a secure home

snuffalo some people just want to celebrate a special occasion with their friends and families. I didnt care about having a ‘special pretty princess big day’!
We spent around 13k. Most of that was sownt on feeding, watering and entertaining our guests. I don’t see what is so outrageous that we and our parents chose to spend our money in this way.

You shouldn't laugh MrDarcyWillBeMine,
everyone to be on equal financial and social footing? means you (and I) could get a full Windsor Castle-Horse ridden carriage-3 days party affair paid by the tax payer. Again, sign me in!

@RosemarysBabyDress This kind of sneering hopelessness is worse, somehow, than plain old avarice and snobbery. Have some convictions at least.

where everyone could afford to eat and have a safe a secure home that's the UK today my dear! "free" NHS, free education, social help, social housing, we have it already. Some people just confuse absolute poverty and relative poverty. They should spend a few months in other parts of the world to realise what poverty actually is, it's not just having less than your richer neighbour.

Anyway, at least everyone is entitled to spend their money on their wedding, it's not a luxury only allowed for members of the party officials.

Rosemary if you don’t understand what socialism is or how it works, don’t take the piss out of it. You’re making yourself sound incredibly ignorant. Go away and do some research on it and if you still don’t like the idea of housing being accessible to everyone, wages in line with the cost of living and opportunities not being prohibited to people purely because they lack capital, come back and mock it. You do realise that if anything were to happen to your health, house, job, wealth - let’s say you lose all your savings because there’s a recession and the bank goes bust, you get made redundant and your house gets repossessed - that the reason there’s a safety net to help you is literally because of socialists fighting for it to be there? Or do you want your capitalist free-for-all that would leave you to starve on the street while those with money step over you?

Jesus Christ. You really think everyone in the UK today can afford a home? I guess that’s everyone apart from those included in that 15% rise in homelessness! But never mind them eh, they must have brought it on themselves...

snoutandab0ut
f you don’t understand what socialism is or how it works you might want to start research yourself on past and current real life example. Oh, I am guessing you will reply that it's not real socialism but they only use the name.
You do know that there is something called minimum wage in this country for example?

Opportunities are plenty in this country and other similar, you just chose to ignore them. Laziness? Hypocrisy? who knows.

You would hate the see the photos of my wedding, and the final bill for it, that's I am sure .

You would hate the see the photos of my wedding, and the final bill for it, that's I am sure

A fool and her money...

The absolute minimum cost of getting married near me is:

Notice to marry £35 each =£70
Plus
Marriage in smallest register office (4 guests max including witnesses, Tues to Thursday mornings only, no vows, no readings, no music) = £57
Plus
Copy of marriage certificate = £4 each

So that's an absolute minimum of £131, if you share a marriage certificate.

If you've money, that's cheap. If you've nothing, it's not.

But it's a wedding ceremony that will protect the rights of a woman with children living in a home in the man's name as pp pointed out. Well worth saving up for - and sod the princess wedding industry. We've really been sold a massive lie by commercial interests, to the detriment of women and children.

You would hate the see the photos of my wedding, and the final bill for it, that's I am sure

There's nothing attractive about someone gloating of their privilege when discussing those that are suffering. It's quite vulgar really.

why a fool?

A wonderful day, fantastic memories, still together more than 15 years later with 4 kids. What's wrong with going all out for one of the most important day of your life and spend what you can afford?

We are better off spending all that cash of ours anyway, before it gets put in the common pot by the state if you win

It’s utterly depressing how ‘incentive’ basically translates to ‘material goods and money’ for some people, and an active desire to see people worse off than you.

It might depress you, but humans are self-interested and this is the engine of all innovation.

If you're interested in saving the planet by harnessing renewable resources, or developing new antibiotics as bacteria outsmarts the old ones, or meat grown in labs to prevent animal cruelty, then you probably should get to grips with the reward system of capitalism.

go away Papaaa it's not about privilege, we earned every penny we spent. Instead of resenting other people born with everything, we just got on with our life and make our own luck. You should try.

@RosemarysBabyDress what a nasty piece of work you are. Sadly, you’re not smart enough or self-aware enough to realise it. You actually think you’re being... amusing? God knows.

I didn't comment any of those wedding threads, people have different priorities and preference. I am one of those who avoid big wedding at all cost even if I won the lottery, no way I am jealous, I am glad no one pressured me for one! It's good feeling I have saved money as a result too :)

I don't judge people who want to spend for their special day.

People who earn or have access to enough money to even consider paying so much for a party have amassed that money at at the expense of the poor and working class whether it’s through exploitative employment or regressive taxation. If they scrimp and save or go into debt for it, they are self-defeating idiots trying to imitate the very people who exploit them.

Snuffalo How naieve and angry you sound. Insulting to boot too.
Of course not everyone with money that wants to spend it celebrating their own or their children’s marriage hasn’t necessarily gained it through exploitation of the poor. Some of us saved jolly hard and worked jolly hard. Some of us worked three public sector jobs. Some of us have worked 60 hours plus for many years with people in challenging circumstances. Some of us have earned every single penny through continual hard work and determination. Nothing anyone else couldn’t have chosen to do. We are lucky our efforts have been rewarded with a comfortable lifestyle.

We pay higher rate taxes to fund those who chose not to and our fair share of community charges to fund local services.

If we want to spend £25k on our daughters wedding, we jolly well will without any sense of guilt or feeling we are disadvantaging anyone else. If we decide we’ll only give them £2k and they want a gazebo on the beach, that’s fine too. Nobody’s business but the family’s.

I'm okay right here thank you.

And as for suggesting 'I try', I work very hard myself and am fortunate in what I have.

I just find your attitude distasteful.

As a wedding planner, I see everyone's opinions on small or bigger weddings. It's all personal preference and I respect budgets and peoples' choices. I love small and intimate all the way to the big princess weddings. If it feels right to you as a couple, I am happy for you both.

For someone who organises big expensive weddings, people usually ask about my wedding day. I only had a register office wedding with 8 guests, followed by a meal at a carvery; everything totalled £500 in total. But that was perfect for me and hubby.

Snuffalo
mocking and looking down at people who want a special day and trying to make them feel bad about themselves makes you the nasty piece of work I am afraid.

Maybe find a better audience for your political rants, you are not going to convince anyone on here. I guarantee you no one will give up on their special day because of a comment from someone like you.

You are never going to make me feel bad of having a wonderful wedding, and hopefully we'll be able to offer the same thing to all of our children if they want one.

Pat yourself on the back if you give all your hard-earned cash to advance your political cause, I am using mine to enjoy my life and for my kids. You feel superior, I feel happier. HTH hun

Gloating about working yourself to the bone and saving through 60-hour weeks - you do realise you wouldn’t have to do that if wealth was distributed more equally. Capitalism really is a race to the bottom when it comes to martyrdom. It’s bothing to be proud of.

Well Rosemary it’s a big howdy Black kettle meet the black pot
It is risible that you write a personal attack and than call snuffalo a nasty piece of work
As you were..

Big and expensive doesn’t automatically mean ‘princessy’!
We had about 100 people so was quite big. Nothing ‘princessy’ about it. Registry office in London then on to an old building that we hired and had free reign to decorate as we saw fit. We spent lots on food as nothing worse than hungry guests and a free bar. We had to hire all furniture in so that was expensive. Loved every minute of it though. It just adds up I guess. We didn’t do favours or have an expensive photographer.

well LipstickHandbagCoffee my posts were a REPLY to snuffalo, and the nasty piece of work didn't come from me originally. But don't let that making you feel superior because you agree with someone who seems to believe, I quote you wouldn’t have to do that if wealth was distributed more equally

you can't argue with stupid, so I won't bother.

I’m simply saying when posts fall into you’re a a bad in,youre this & that you’ve lost any potency or salient point as it all got lost in crass put downs