To think DS needs professional help urgently?

[JugheadismyHero]

Ds11 just broke down on me. Showed me a note he's written saying "kill me before I do something". He says he thinks about killing him self every night.

Wtf do I do!?!?

He's in no danger at the moment as far as I'm aware but who knows?

Do I phone 111 or do I wait until morning??

Do I take him to a&e??

When he was 10 he would walk out in front of cars, he would drop his dads weights onto his feet or legs to hurt himself. We saw gp's, cyps who said he wasn't depressed, wasn't suicidal. Even though he told them he was!!

He had counselling and we thought he had gone past this but now...

I'm just lost, someone help me to help him..

My aspie daughter said this to me when she was 6. "Why don't you just get a gun and shoot me?"
I was horrified! It was the first sign in a long road for an autism diagnosis. It was her way of saying "I'm anxious. I need you".

Sometimes autism doesn't get picked up on until age 11 when the pressure of school gets too much. It's something to think about. Autism looks different in every person and my ideas of how autism "looked" were blown out of the window.

Take you child to A and E if your child mentions it again but I would have start researching autism. Some boys present like autistic girls. We started with Tania A Marshall Asperger's in bright young girls.

Also, always trust your instincts. I've been right with mine so far, against alot if oppositional from school and sometimes DH.

What helps my girl with anxiety is:

• tea and sympathy, lots of empathy
• talking
• Cuddles
• predictability - knowing what's going to happen and when.

- facts backed up with evidence of they are fearful about something. - Trusting your instincts and listening to them, even if they want to be held like a baby. They need that feeling of security. Sometimes my child regresses. She's 10 and still asks for formula milk in a carton. It makes her feel safe and I do what I can to help her feel safe, even if it seems bizarre. I think outside the box as far as she's concerned.

I’m so sorry to read what you’re going through . As a pp has already said , suicidal ideation does not mean suicidal intent . Wanting to be dead and self harming or taking ones own life are two different things entirely. However , it’s shocking to hear this as a parent . I speak from personal experience but all is good now
If he’s asleep now , I would let him rest but keep him under very close observation all night . Take him to A/E tomorrow . If you take him tonight then you will end up in a waiting room full of people under the influence etc and won’t have access to the most senior staff either .
I wish you and your ds all the best .
As a precaution, make sure he has no access to medicines , sharp objects , belts or dressing gown cords . I’m sorry to be so blunt

No word from OP today I hope everything is ok. Reading about all your experiences that are so similar if not exactly the same as mine ... in one way I want to grab you all and say YES YES YOU UNDERSTAND and on the other I want to grab health commissioners and say YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING CLUE.

And I NEVER type in capitals and

I'm sorry I haven't updated, nothing really to update.

Ds refuses to talk yesterday, I ended up cleaning his room while he watched Netflix but he helped to build his bed and he seemed a lot happier. They had movie night in their room last night and dd5 slept in with them all which he loved (he has a very big soft spot for her)

I'm going to email his tutor and cc his head of year in the morning, just to let them know and maybe request a meeting if they're unaware of his history. His primary school were/are amazing, they always ask how he is getting on and they assure me they made his senior school aware of his issues.

I'm not sure about going to the gp? He won't talk to them but is it worth me going?? Will they talk to me without him there??

Mine did. The senior partner any way. Had good advice. Good wishes Jughead. A preliminary apt before taking him might be helpful.

Hi OP,
Haven't RTFT but just read your last post.

My mum had some serious concerns about my brother's MH when he was young and living at home (he was older than your son, but that might not matter). She contacted the GP who made a home visit just to see how brother was. I'll be honest, brother wasn't very forthcoming so nothing much came of it, but it might be a starting point for you with your DS. Just thought I would mention it in case it was helpful.

Glad to hear your weekend has been more settled

I would alert school and ask if he can access any counselling or Elsa support.

Also contact and update camhs. As it might push you up the list.

Like most on here. My son has a history of self harm. And tried to hang him self in the summer. He was very quickly assessed by camhs. But they felt he was suitable supported through school and myself. Not addressing why he wanted to hurt himself. He has been assessed three times now. Still no intervention.

I was told by a cpn I know to put It
In Writing. With a time line of the history. And explain clearly that you are making them responsible for any further self harm by their lack of intervention.

I have also written to my mp. And would ask that anyone in a similar situation do the same. We need to influence those that can make changes.

Hope that everyone gets the support they need moving forward.

I know it might seem extreme but could the police section him, I would think this might be the quickest way to get help. Lots of hugs for you both.

Thanks all

I don't think he needs sectioning, at least not right now. If he actively tries to harm himself or others then I will rethink.

I will work on a timeline of events tomorrow while he's at school. He's had a pretty shit couple of years so will take me a while.

Someone earlier mentioned melatonin for sleeping?? We tried that but it made him feel a lot worse.

I'm hoping once he's back at school and in a routine again he'll be more settled, he's still awake now

Skinandbones why would the police section him? He's 11 years old and desperately unhappy. I don't see the connection?

Based on what op has written he doesn’t need sectioned.no

He safe at home,not a risk to self or others,engaging with mum,no significant MH deterioration

To be clear being detained under MHA is significant intervention,it involves AMHP,Doctors and seeking the Nearest Relative opinion. It is not as easy as “sectioned”. And professionally one seeks the least restrictive option to maintain safety and offer treatment

It isn't easy to get sectioned. And not warranted imo.

someone has to be as very serious risk to themselves or others for this to be explored.

Not that I don't think your ds is at risk. It is the size of that risk. And in any assessment you are keeping him safe. As we do as mothers. And this would reduce the measured risk.

Hope the start of school helps you all

Although it may not be seasonal you could try some light therapy? Like those used for SAD. Just a thought and worth a shot

Yes, go to the GP without him. I’ve done this for both my dc diagnosed with ASD. Look st the criteria for diagnosis for ASD and ADHD, do look for presentations of ASD for HFA and girls. It’s not ‘just’ girls, and presents in boys also.

You’ve mentioned a rough couple of years as well as bad sleep/melatonin - this really rings bells with ASD -type issues.

Ask for an appointment/meeting with the school and tell them you want the early intervention team to come in for a meeting. I found them very good at actual help.

In my area theres an independent teenage counselling service but will only see dcs if they agree. My friend had a few concerns about her dd and although her dd wouldnt go they gave my friend some really helpful advice. Is there anywhere like that in yr area or could you look up a mh charity with a helpline? Just a thought- sometimes its not always easy to think of these things when yr in the thick of it. Have been thinking about you today. Nice to hear that he enjoyed today. One if my teens is having difficulty getting to sleep this week- am hoping being at school next week will help get back into a sleep routine with less access to a mobile during the day!

Thank you everyone. It helps having people who unfortunately know what it's like. My DH and DM both insist he's attention seeking, I'm not having it.

When I was 10 my DM had to snatch a box of pills from me as I wanted to die, I used to say it all the time too. I then went on to self harm and took an overdose at 18. (She doesn't know this as I just said I had a stomach bug, she's not easy to confide in). I'm now finally on antidepressants at 36 years old!

I'm not prepared to take the risk that it's attention seeking, i value his life a lot more than that

He's just called me in tears from school, nothing I can do!

Have called reception and they are getting his head of year to check on him. I just want to go and pick him up

I would go and pick him up, or at least go down to school and talk to the senco and make a plan and bring him home if needed.

If school is too much for him at the moment then going “off sick” while things are sorted may be needed.

Good luck

For goodness sake go and pick him up. He is opening up to you in his distress by opening upto you. Do not ignore him.

I'm not ignoring him! Far from it!!

He is with his head of year and he wants to stay at school. He has made a plan for the day with her and he is happy, I've spoken to him. I can tell by his tone of voice.

I'm waiting on a call back from the gp about his mental health.

I also have two children home today on inset day.

DS is safe, I'm trying to sort stuff out for him and the last thing he needs is to see me upset and stressed

It was just a thought, sorry if I upset anyone, my experience came from an adult and wasn't sure if it was the same for a child.