To think DS needs professional help urgently?

[JugheadismyHero]

Ds11 just broke down on me. Showed me a note he's written saying "kill me before I do something". He says he thinks about killing him self every night.

Wtf do I do!?!?

He's in no danger at the moment as far as I'm aware but who knows?

Do I phone 111 or do I wait until morning??

Do I take him to a&e??

When he was 10 he would walk out in front of cars, he would drop his dads weights onto his feet or legs to hurt himself. We saw gp's, cyps who said he wasn't depressed, wasn't suicidal. Even though he told them he was!!

He had counselling and we thought he had gone past this but now...

I'm just lost, someone help me to help him..

No advice I’m afraid, but I’m so sorry he’s going through this. Thank god he has you and you’re taking him seriously x

What recommendation did Camhs make when they assessed your son?
Was their intervention and/or treatment plan for the anxiety

@JugheadismyHero that's all well and good CAMHS have seen him and said he's anxious, but why haven't they offered medication or talking therapy? Mental health services are bloody useless.

I had anorexia age 14 and they wouldn't give me any therapy until I'd gained weight, by that point they withdrew the offer of therapy and said there was no one to do it anyway!

I would go private if you can afford it. Or have a look to see if there are any children’s counselling charities in your area. I wouldn’t want to be waiting for NHS care in this scenario.

Threshold for admission is high,this may not necessarily result in an admission
If appropriate the Least restrictive interventions will be tried first eg home treatment team

I am wondering if he is having intrusive thoughts that are scaring him. I would sleep next to him tonight and see how things are when he wakes up, see if he can elaborate more and explain just what is going on in his head.

He had counselling, 6 one hour sessions once a week.

Cyps/camhs woman blamed me for it all. Said I'm depressed and he's picking up on it. I'd just found out about him dropping weights on himself in the session with her. I was shocked and got teary.

Bless his little heart, sorry you are both going through this, hope you can sleep next to him tonight and have him seen tomorrow xx

As everyone says go to A & E . He is just a little boy and he needs help. I wish you well. He obviously has a really loving family to support him. Sending virtual hugs your way xx

I'm sleeping on the floor next to him tonight.

I've just got the note out of the bin where he ripped it and threw it and sellotaped it together. I'm so scared for him

We had a similar situation with dd, 14, earlier this week. She's been hearing voices for a couple of months, and already has three sessions at cahms each week, but on New Year's Day had taken a few tablets, got drunk, and ended up in A&E in the early hours.
To hear her begging the doctors to make the voices go away, and saying that if she had the opportunity she would kill herself, was devastating.
After most of the night in A&E she was admitted on to the children's ward where eventually she saw someone from Camhs, and was allowed home the next evening, with a follow up appointment today.
She wouldn't really engage and we were just told to ensure she takes her tablets - a low dose of anti psychotics - as the voices have been telling her to spit them out.
I've no advice really, but I'd say that if he is asleep, then leave him for tonight, lots of reassurance tomorrow and watch him very carefully.
for you, I know how hard it is.

And it's appalling that they blamed you.

Thats shit blaming you
Could be all sorts of reasons and could be a chemical imbalance. Just sleep in same room for tonight and get some advice from 111 for the morning as others have suggested.Thinking of you OP. Sit tight.

Did you ask him to explain what he meant by kill me before I do something?

I wold ring 111 tomorrow first thing if he's asleep now.

PaperGirl1968 and JugheadismyHero acknowledging your difficulties and wish you and your children well

I'm so sorry OP.

When someone says they are going to kill themselves it is a life threatening mental health crisis and should be treated exactly the same way as a heart attack i.e. dial 999.

Your son has not said this directly but it sounds like he is alluding to it.

As he is asleep now i would sleep with him or in the same room. If he wakes up and continues to say things that sound like he is considering suicide now, then i would get him to A&E.

Samaritans are not a substitute for proper care, they are very hit and miss. Better off with child line. Phone 111 tomorrow if he doesn't seem better. Hope to avoid medication unless psychotic
Crying is good. A good homeopathic, herbalist and acupuncture may help. All the usual things for depression, diet, exercise, joining in group activities, team games, less screen time. Good luck op.

Don't send him to school on Monday. Repeatedly present him at the doctor until a CAAMHS referal is made for him. This is not the normal teenaged melodrama- for a start he's far too young - this is serious.

When someone says they are going to kill themselves it is a life threatening mental health crisis and should be treated exactly the same way as a heart attack i.e. dial 999

Not exactly,no. It depends what else is going on,current events,risk etc

.Suicidal ideation is different from suicidal intent
People can be preoccupied by suicide and think about it without self harm or attempting attempt. Unfortunately some people have a preoccupation with suicide And can express sucidal ideation, without intent

There needs to be further exploration and risk assessment

Thanks, Lipstick

I mentioned the intrusive thoughts because of the way the note is written. Sounds like he’s scared he’s going to harm himself or someone.

He definitely needs to speak to someone.

Agree as above that suicide ideation is not the same as being suicidal. The hope is that if he ever wants to act on those thoughts he hasn’t lost trust through asking and not being helped.

Speak to 111 in the morning. Take him to the GP and get another CAMHS referral. Is there any counselling school can access for him? Have you asked if there’s a school nurse who can see him? If he’s shared any plans then counteract with a safety plan until he’s seen.

You, and your son, have my sympathy. I have been through similar with two of my children. Your life is never quite the same. If you can afford it, I would second private help - CAHMS are so overstretched that they can be less than useful even when you get the appointments. Ask around (once you open up to friends/people you trust, in my experience, you find recommendations as many others go through very difficult situations like this). Counselling needs to be available as and when required, and a connection needs to be there otherwise its a complete waste of everyone's time, and as you've sadly found already it needs to be solution focused and non-judgemental.

I hope you’re ok

I have limited experience of CAMHS but i know that they are severely under resourced and if they can delay/put off involvement or fob you off at any point then they will. You need to be persistent but polite and push for a need for priority or a service in general. You may have done all this already and now need to do it again but if not then summon it from within and push on.

Are there things he is interested in that you could tap into, e.g. if he likes gaming could you try and get local children to begin gaming meet ups and improve his friendships and self worth? This may complement professional help?